


Glass Houses

by Huntress69



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure!Steve, Lovesick!Steve, M/M, Overly-Stressed!Danny, Rape Recovery, Rape/Non-con Elements, Steve!whump
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-07
Updated: 2014-11-25
Packaged: 2018-02-24 10:12:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 43,926
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2577794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Huntress69/pseuds/Huntress69
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>While investigating the death of a friend who worked at a mental hospital on his own, Steve is drugged and admitted as a patient. After a month he's found, but has to come to terms about what happened to him while he was held captive. In the meantime, Danny has emotional issues of his own to contend with.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Title Card + Soundtrack

**Author's Note:**

> 1) This fic was alpha/beta read by three people. Any remaining mistakes are mine. If you find any, send Danny to spank me; I promise not to enjoy it. Also, there were a few spots wherein I fully admit to having gotten "lost" while writing but I did my best to find my way.  
> 2) **Warning: This fic contains scenes of physical violence and (brief) non-con. Last chance to turn back if that's not your thing.**  
>  3) Only if you haven't seen S1 + 2.  
> 4) I have made allusions to Steve's past; it's fic - you have to have a little bit of fun with it, right?  
> 5) I didn't want to insult the fine hospitals of Hawaii, so I made one up for this fic.  
> 6) I love evil psychiatrists, abusive orderlies and good-girl nurses.  
> 7) Gratuitous mentions of Taylor Swift and Moonlight.  
> 8) There is a small reference to [**Arsenic and Old Lace**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arsenic_and_Old_Lace_\(film\)) \- just because it's my all-time favorite movie and I wanted to include it in a fic.  
>  8) There was an alternate ending to the fic, but it was deemed too out of character for Steve.

  


Soundtrack download available until 12/5 [**Here**](https://www.sendspace.com/file/lqtkug) (https://www.sendspace.com/file/lqtkug)  
(**Note: I will re-upload upon request**)  
Or listen here at "8-Tracks": [**http://8tracks.com/huntress62/glass-houses-soundtrack**](http://8tracks.com/huntress62/glass-houses-soundtrack)  
  


(**Please note that due to uploading problems "Fearless" is not available to stream**)


	2. The Cast

  



	3. Part The First

**Disclaimer: Yes, I own them. Yes, Steve McGarrett and Danny Williams are real people. And if you believe that, the psychiatrist is in, five cents please.**

**++++++++**

"DANNY! WE'RE GOING TO BE LATE!"

Danny jumped up so quickly he nearly fell out of bed and stared at the clock. "It's 6:17, we don't have to be in until eight and you're in charge. How are we going to be late?"

Steve rolled on top of him. "Well," he drawled, "by the time we finish making love, and then bask in the afterglow, take a shower, make love again in there, dry each other off and maybe go for round three, it'll be time to leave."

"I am going to blow you until you're begging to be fucked." Danny rolled them so he was on top and nuzzled Steve's neck. "Then I will bask rather briefly," he teased, "because you're not that good." He kissed his way down Steve's chest and sucked on the left nipple, then kissed his way to the right. Danny nipped his way down Steve's abdomen, leaving bite marks along the way and took Steve's cock in his palm. "When we are in the shower I will shove you against the tiles and fuck you silly once again," he gave a kiss to the tip, "we will finish washing," he licked the length up and down a few times, "dry each other off," he swirled his tongue around the head, blowing cool air across the pool of precome, "and then get dressed for work."

Steve threaded his fingers in Danny's short hair. "What about round three?"

"Steve," Danny sighed, "if you want three rounds out of me, you best be prepared to let me stay in bed for a few hours after to recover."

"I think that can be arranged." Steve stroked Danny's hair with his right hand, while his left rubbed down Danny's back. "I think your boss will understand if you don't make it into the office until noon."

Danny lifted his head and he didn't look happy. "We talked about this, Steve. Our work and personal lives are to remain separate. I'm not going in late because you want to get laid." He began to slide off the bed, when Steve grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry, Danny, I don't want to start the day with you angry." He smiled that shy smile that he knew got to his partner, and was pleased when Danny gave in and lay back down. "We'll make love, take a shower, have breakfast and go to work. Sound good?"

Danny tugged at his cock. "Fucking you always sounds good."

"Making love, Danny, not fucking."

"Semantics," Danny smiled, kneeling between Steve's legs, slicking his cock and pulling those long legs over his shoulders. "My cock, your ass." 

Danny didn't even notice that on this particular morning, Steve pretty much just lay there and allowed Danny to do what he wanted.

**~~~~~~~~**

Things were slow at headquarters, and Danny made a crack that they had scared all the bad guys away. He, Chin and Kono were sitting down at the computer staring at a huge bitmap of "Where's Waldo?" while having a taste test of four different kinds of coffees.

Steve was in his office staring at a newspaper article from the day before.

A nurse had been killed and he recognized her name - he had known her in high school. They hadn't been close friends, she was two years older, but her younger brother had been a friend of his; a football player Steve had tutored in math.

He had been putting it off, but now made a quick call to the HPD and was told that her death had been an accident and no further investigation was warranted. 

But something was nagging at Steve; the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He knew he couldn't press the issue based on instinct alone, so he thanked the officer and decided to do a bit of investigating on his own. Steve came out of his office and walked over to Danny. "I have to go take care of something." He framed Danny's face in his palms. "We'll take a bubble bath tonight." He leaned in for a kiss, but Danny ducked his head, slapping Steve's hands away. 

"Professional and personal lives do not mix." Danny practically snarled. "I told you that this morning."

"I think it's cute," Kono grinned. 

"I don't." Danny glared at Steve. "This happens in the field it could not only be embarrassing, but dangerous."

"Well, fuck you too!" Steve yelled. "And you can shower by yourself and use the couch tonight!" As he disappeared down the hall he added, "And I don't know when I'll be home!"

Danny just stood there, feeling the eyes upon him. Turning to Chin and Kono, he saw them both frowning at him. "He's so touchy-feely sometimes." They gave twin dirty looks. "All right, I'll go make peace." Danny got to the elevator but the doors were closing, so he ran down the stairs, getting to the garage as Steve was opening the door to his car. "I hate the couch and running down all the stairs wreaks havoc with my knee."

"I didn't mean it, Danny; I'm sorry." Steve kicked at invisible dirt. "I love you and sometimes I just want to show it is all."

Steve reminded him of a 12 year old at that moment, but Danny wisely kept that observation to himself. "I know, Steve, but not in public; it's not safe."

"It was just Chin and Kono, so I thought it would be okay. And I would **never** do it anywhere else."

"I know that also," Danny smiled, "but sometimes wires get crossed at the most inopportune moments."

"Can we still take a bath tonight?" Steve asked hopefully, getting into his car. "We've used the new tub twice and both times you fell asleep in it. I was kind of hoping you'd stay awake so we could enjoy it together."

"Far be it for me to turn down an evening with you in that lovely roman tub you put in just for us, and this time I promise to stay awake." Danny was so tempted to kiss him, but he couldn't, not in the parking garage, so he instead settled for brushing a finger along Steve's cheek. "And why in the world did you rent this while the truck is being repaired?"

"You're just pissed because I won't let you drive it." Steve couldn't resist a smirk. "And I always wanted to drive a Porsche."

"And you're just lucky the state is paying for it," Danny reminded him. "I'll see you for dinner; I'm making lasagna."

Steve closed the door, opened the window and started the engine. "Then I'll certainly be there, with a bottle of good wine."

"You don't drink wine," Danny pointed out.

"But you do, Danno."

"Steve, is it anything I should know about?"

"I'll tell you later." Steve blew him a kiss as he pealed out.

"Show-off," Danny muttered as he went back to work.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve drove along the steep mountain roads wondering about his relationship with Danny. 

They had been together almost four months now, and although Danny was open around Chin and Kono, as long as they were all off duty, he shied away from Steve's touch anywhere else. Even around Grace, who knew about them, Danny was physically distant.

They did live together, most of the time anyway, and pretty much everyone at the HPD was aware of them being a couple. But for some reason Danny insisted on keeping his apartment, refusing to give it up.

Dinners were always private, never in a restaurant. Steve would make reservations and Danny would cancel them, explaining that eating at home was more romantic.

When they went to the movies, usually because Steve was sick of spending every night in, Danny got his own snacks and soda, and seemed to look everywhere as if someone would see, as if Danny was ashamed of them being out together. 

The first time they had been in public after they had begun to see each other, was at an HPD gathering. Danny suggested they go separately, but Steve put his foot down, insistent they go together. Danny had made it a point to dance with almost every woman there, even though there were same-sex couples on the dance floor. Steve had approached him during the evening out on the balcony and asked him to dance, but Danny had shaken his head, and then gone back inside to the buffet table. He had ignored Steve the rest of the evening, and when they got back to Steve's place, Steve wanted to talk about it, but Danny bent him over the dining room table and fucked him until Steve couldn't think straight, and thus the conversation never happened.

It had been eating Steve up inside; he didn't even know if Danny loved him. He had told Danny so many times, showed him in so many ways, but Danny didn't return the sentiment, except in the physical sense. And when they made love, Danny always topped - he never bottomed, always taking control when they were together.

Lately Steve had found himself apologizing more and more for each and every time he did or said something in public that set Danny off, from a simple pat on the back to saying "Book 'em Danno" and flashing that shit-eating grin. And he was also beginning to apologize during their private time, as he had that morning. He was afraid that Danny would get angry with him over something and leave, and Steve was unsure if he could deal with that.

"Maybe its just sex," Steve wondered aloud. "Not that that's a bad thing; Danny's inventive and making love with him is amazing." And it really was, Steve had to admit to himself. Danny was open to just about anything except being a bottom, and Steve went along for the proverbial ride, never saying no to whatever Danny came up with. He didn't even complain when one steamy night had ended with him wrenching his back. 

He began to drum his fingers on the steering wheel. "Tonight, Steve, tonight you are going to have a long talk with him, because you really need to know where this relationship is going." 

Steve blew that all off for the moment, concentrating on the road, and he played the CD he'd been listening to on a daily basis; he couldn't resist singing along - "We were both young when I first saw you, I close my eyes, and the flashback starts, I'm standing there, On the balcony in summer air...." - Danny hated Taylor Swift, but she was beginning to grow on Steve. It was either that or the fact that her music made Danny nuts. He had made it through six songs when he arrived at his destination. 

Getting out of the car, Steve shivered a little. The place had always creeped him out. When he was younger, he and his friends would sneak up there and stare at it, imagining what went on inside. 

But Steve McGarrett was no longer a child; he was a grown man. It was just a building, nothing more. Forcing all the stories out of his head, he walked to the front and stared at the sign.

**_RIVER'S EDGE PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL_ **

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve was greeted by an orderly and looked around; the place seemed deserted.

The orderly explained that it was lunch time, so most of the staff was with the various patients.

Steve felt like he was being led in circles and didn't see anyone as he finally arrived at the office of Doctor Marcus Allen, who had been in charge of the facility for almost 10 years. He knew the doctor's reputation and spoke with him at length about his friend Janet's death. "The police department thinks it was an accident, but I've known Jan since high school. She wouldn't have been driving drunk - her parents and brother were killed in a DUI."

"She was a lovely person, Commander McGarrett," the doctor replied. "But people do change."

"No, not Jan," Steve insisted.

"What about your team? How do they feel about this? Will you be running an investigation?"

"I didn't even tell anyone I was coming here," Steve answered openly. "They'd think I was...."

"Crazy?" Allen chuckled. "It's all right, I've heard worse. But to not share your suspicions with anyone can be dangerous; you leave yourself vulnerable."

"I couldn't tell anybody. My partner would most definitely tell me HPD was right and to let it go, but I can't."

"I can ask my staff, see if they know anything." Allen poured them each a cup of tea. "Maybe your friend spoke with somebody. That may give us some insight as to what happened to her."

"I would appreciate that." Steve drank his tea and they spoke some more. He was about to stand when his vision began to swim. He blinked a few times, trying to focus. "What the fuck?"

"I am sorry, Commander McGarrett, but I can't have you investigating either this hospital or me."

"You drugged me." Steve got to his feet, drawing his gun, which fell from his hands; he gripped the edge of the desk to keep his balance. Reaching into his pocket he took out his phone, but that too fell from his grasp. 

Allen caught him as he lost consciousness, placing him in a chair. "I'd kill you but that would bring too much attention in my direction right now." He sat at his desk, pulled up some templates on the computer and began to fill out forms. He was quick, and made one call as he printed out the paperwork.

Claude Duggan, the orderly who had met Steve when he arrived, entered the office and saw him passed out in the chair. "What did you do to McGarrett?"

"Now, Claude, don't panic." Allen read over the papers he had printed. "Our new patient's name is Steven Jennings, and he arrived from the mainland a few weeks ago after escaping from a hospital in Oregon. He suffers from multiple personality disorder, frequently declares he is a member of the law enforcement community, has paranoid delusions that people are out to get him and is prone to extreme cases of violent behavior. In fact, he nearly killed his last doctor, insisting that he was completely sane, had been kidnapped, and was being kept against his will."

"And how long before the rest of Five-0 comes to find him?"

"They won't." The doctor placed the paperwork in a file. "He was nice enough to inform me that he didn't tell anyone and that he came on his own. It seems the Police Department doesn't think this case worthy of investigation."

"The fifth floor?" Duggan picked up the file. 

"Well, we can't have a patient with his type of violent tendencies in an open ward." Doctor Allen nodded to Steve. "Get him up to the ward. I need to do some more research on both him and his team; find out everything I can about them. By the time I am finished with him, he will either believe he is Steven Jennings or he will have lost whatever sanity he has. Either way, he will not be a threat to us."

"And if your way doesn't work out?"

"Then we bide our time and he will disappear with the next shipment overseas. Did anyone see him come in?"

"Only Todd," Duggan said, referring to the guard at the gate. "I was working the front desk and made sure everybody took a break. Nobody saw him on the way up here either."

"You leave Todd to me. Get McGarrett up to a room and do it as subtly as you can, and then take care of his car."

**~~~~~~~~**

By four o'clock the other three members of Five-0 were ready to call it a day.

Steve hadn't returned so Danny caught a ride with Chin and set to work making his lasagna, taking out the good dishes for a change, along with some candles; he was planning for a romantic evening to make up for being curt with Steve earlier. He then put the food in the oven, sat down and waited for Steve to come home.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve woke up with a pounding headache and immediately reached for his gun. It was gone, as were his badge, his phone, and his clothing. He was dressed in hospital attire and it took him a moment to get his bearings.

Marcus Allen was behind Janet's death, and God knew what else, and he had drugged Steve, because Steve had gotten too close. Steve of course didn't know what was going on, but it must have been big to risk kidnapping him. 

The door was locked, but that didn't deter the SEAL. He had patience and knew they would come and check on him, so he waited, preparing himself for a fight.

It didn't take long for a nurse to enter the room and the moment she walked in, Steve flew out the door.

Two orderlies lunged at him, but they weren't prepared for his movements and quickly found themselves laid out. 

Steve saw the ward door opening and ran for it. He nearly made it when he was tackled. He kicked his leg out and knocked the man over and was on his feet again when two more grabbed his legs, knocking him to the floor, his head cracking against the tiles. Steve was held down and punched; he tried to fight back but then they were all there, holding him down, and even with his training he couldn't fight so many. 

Doctor Allen quickly dosed him with a high concentration of sedatives. "Mister Jennings, we can't have you leaving."

"Not my name." Steve murmured as the sedative took hold. "I'm Steve McGa...Steve...Ste...."

"As I warned you all," Allen told his staff, "this man is extremely dangerous. He is to be watched 24/7 and his medications are to be administered as I have ordered. Is that understood?" He received nods all around. "Take him back to his room and have him properly restrained."

**~~~~~~~~**

By seven, Danny was pissed; by nine, he was fuming; by 11, he was worried.

Steve still wasn't home. 

He called the HPD to issue an APB on Steve and his car and spent the rest of the night pacing the house, finally collapsing into sleep on the couch around four in the morning.

Something had happened to Steve, he knew it in his gut.

At 7:30 he was woken by his phone and was informed they had located Steve's car - it had been driven off a pier.

Danny had the divers down there for the entire day, and if Steve had gone in the water with his car, they would have found him.

The HPD techs went over the car but there were no signs of any tampering.

"Why couldn't we locate him via the GPS system?" Danny wanted to know.

"Apparently," Chin told him, "Steve disabled it, just like he did with his truck."

Danny went over the reports again. "Something's not kosher," he remarked to Chin. "One, Steve puts Indy 500 drivers to shame with his driving, you and I both know that; two, the driver's side door was open - if he had gone in there with the car, he would have somehow opened the window to get out; and three," he picked something up from the floor, "somebody removed his CD."

"Maybe he took it out himself," Chin suggested.

"Uh-uh." Danny shook his head. "He's been playing Taylor Swift for the last two weeks."

"Taylor Swift?" Chin couldn't help the giggle. "And why is the CD pink?"

"He's been playing it non-stop and yeah, I thought about having him sent for a psych eval. And Grace made it for him." Danny stared at the photos. "Chin, there were no skid marks at the scene; he didn't even try to stop." He had a thought and walked over to the car, getting in the front seat. He placed his left hand on the steering wheel and his right on the shift and that seemed okay. Danny was about to get out of the car when he glanced down at his feet. 

"Danny? Did you find something?"

"Answer me this, Lieutenant Kelly - if Steve's seven inches taller than I am, then how come my feet can reach the pedals with just a slight stretch?"

"Because he wasn't driving," Chin nodded in understanding.

"I don't think he was in the passenger seat either." Danny moved into it. "It's the way I left it."

"You think he was kidnapped?"

"It looks that way." Danny searched the car for any kind of clue but there was nothing. "Wherever he went yesterday, this has something to do with it."

"I don't have a clue," Chin answered him. "Did he say anything to you?"

"Only that he had to take care of something." Danny punched the hood of the car. "Damn him! I hate when he does this shit! Doesn't he know that he has a team who can help when needed?"

"Danny," Chin placed his palm on Danny's back, "take it easy. We'll find him. At least we can be sure he hasn't left the island."

"When we find him," Danny put his hands up, calming himself down, "he and I are going to have a major conversation about what partnerships are all about."

"And relationships?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You want it straight? Fine." Chin grew very serious. "He tries to touch you in public since you two got together, you draw back. Now I'm not talking about him trying to kiss you like yesterday morning, I'm talking about the little touches, the ones he was giving you long before you started seeing each other." He took a deep breath. "And the last time he told you to 'Book 'em Danno,' got into your personal space and gave you that smile he always does, you bit his head off."

"I did not!"

"Yes, you did, and it hurt him, and if you would have looked - really looked - you would have seen his pain." 

"If he slipped up while we were working, like I told him, it could be disastrous."

"Would **you** slip up?" Chin knew how Danny would answer, but asked anyway.

"Of course not! Do I look like an idiot?" He scowled at Chin. "You fucker; that was a trick question."

"No, Danny," Chin smiled, "it wasn't. You trust yourself to not let your personal life bleed into your working one, but you don't trust him."

"Did I really bite his head off?"

"Oh yeah."

"Then I guess I owe him an apology."

"A big one, Danno," Chin teased, "a really, really big one."

"Chin?"

"Yes."

"Call me Danno again and I'll punch your lights out."

"C'mon, **Detective Williams** , we have some investigating to do."

**~~~~~~~~**  



	4. Part The Second

Steve was sitting in his room, trying to focus and get his head straight. 

In three short days he had done some serious damage and he had to keep his cool, because if he didn't he knew he would end up somewhere worse. If he could hold it together, maybe he would have a chance to get to a phone and call for help.

His door opened and he forced himself to stay still. 

An orderly entered and smiled at him, handing him some pills. 

Steve didn't realize that Claude Duggan was a part of things, but it didn't matter - he threw the pills on the floor. 

"Mr. Jennings, you really need to take your medication."

"That's not my name." Steve insisted yet again. "Why do you keep calling me that?"

"Then what is your name?" 

"I'm Steve McGarrett; I'm with Five-0. Call Detective Danny Williams there. He'll vouch for me."

"I certainly will," Duggan nodded. "Just let me get you back into bed." 

Steve stared hard at the man's face - this was the same orderly who had brought him to Marcus Allen when he had arrived. "Son of a bitch!" He made a running tackle at him, but due to the medications already in his system, Steve was too slow.

Duggan ducked and hoisted Steve over his shoulders, flipping him backwards. He slid down and sat on Steve's chest, quickly removing a syringe from his pocket.

Steve saw the needle and tried to avoid it, but it entered his upper arm and he stared at Duggan, and then at his arm. "You…you're in this with Allen." He was trying his best to keep conscious, but it was futile; the drug was working rapidly.

"How very perceptive of you, Commander McGarrett. And I will have to advise the staff that you will insist they attempt to contact your imaginary friends and to ignore you." He dragged Steve to the bed and shut the light, but before he left he added, "Nobody is going to find you," and closed the door behind himself.

Steve tried to get up, but whatever was in the syringe had numbed his body. He lay there in the darkness, fighting to stay awake and alert, but it was a losing battle. He wondered if the man was right. 

Would his team find him? How would they know where to start? Steve hadn't informed anyone where he was going or what he was doing. 

And he had disclosed that fact to Marcus Allen.

How could he have been so stupid? 

Danny was constantly telling him that the real world of police work was hazardous, that one day all of Steve's government training was going to mean jackshit. 

Steve had ignored all of the lectures, especially the one that was now clearest in his mind, the one that Danny attempted to drill into his head more than once: 

**_"I don't give a rat's ass what you did with the fucking SEALs and I don't care how well they trained you. Because when you're a cop, a **real** cop, the lone wolf routine won't cut it. If you jump into an unknown situation without telling anyone, especially your partner, you may very well end up dead."_ **

Steve had been trained to kill in more ways than he wanted to think about; hell, he had used that training dozens of times to get the job done. He was always positive and cocky that his work with Naval Intelligence, plus his stint with the CIA, could get him out of any situation.

It was only now, when it was too late, that he realized he had been wrong. 

He actually found himself laughing over the fact that he would never live it down if Danny ever found out; that his partner would gloat about being right for at least a week. 

His brain was shutting down and as the forced sleep overtook him, so did the fear that he would not be found.

"Danno, where are you?"

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny was in his apartment downing his fourth beer. He had been staying at Steve's house, a place he had begun to call home, but after three nights alone he couldn't bear to be there. 

He was even having a hard time driving the Camaro - Steve had pretty much taken possession of it at some point and it was rare for Danny to drive it any more. Yes, he bitched about it, but that had become more of a habit than genuine complaining. 

As Danny drank his thoughts moved to his relationship with Steve and how it had grown in leaps and bounds in a little more than a year; they had danced around one another for months before they finally caught a clue....

**++++++++**

_Within three months of being partnered they'd been referred to as "married" half a dozen times._

_It had taken them another three to realize that their fights were actually flirting; but being they were both pigheaded, they convinced themselves it was just them acting like partners._

_Four months after that they had been in Steve's house moving furniture when Steve made a remark about Danny and his stupid ties, and that even on a day when it was just them, off-duty, Danny still wore one._

_Danny had made an innocent crack that if Steve didn't like them, tough shit. But he did take it off to shut Steve up._

_Their eyes met and something snapped in both of them._

_Steve grabbed Danny by the front of the shirt, pulled him close and ravished him with kisses, tearing at Danny's clothes, yanking his pants off so roughly that he tore the zipper._

_Danny was just as wild, literally ripping off Steve's shirt and dropping to his knees, ignoring the slight pain with his ACL as he took Steve's pants down and sucked him off._

_When Steve found the bottle of KY in the bathroom Danny grabbed it and took charge, making love to him that night, bringing him to heights of pleasure that Steve later said he had only dreamed about._

_The most startling revelation was the morning after, when Steve discovered that Danny had never been with a man; he told Steve that his sexual orientation had been turned upside down at some point and he found himself wanting his partner, and that he had been fighting his feelings for months._

_When Steve had questioned him about their lovemaking, Danny had been flippant, explaining that he just did what came naturally._

_Steve said, "I love you"; Danny just fucked him again._

_Steve asked Danny to move in with him; Danny said no. He didn't know if he was ready for that step._

_And yet Danny ended up living there most of the time and somehow a good chunk of his things had migrated to Steve's house._

_Danny had one half of the bathroom, two dresser drawers and his own spots in the refrigerator and pantry for his junk food. His CD and DVD collections had ended up on Steve's living room shelf._

_Steve had even gone so far as to move his father's classic car into storage so Danny would have space for the Camaro in the garage._

_Steve bought a new bed - a California King - because Danny was a restless sleeper and took up enough space for three people when he slept._

_Danny kept his apartment for his weekends with Grace, but they spent most of the time at Steve's; the little girl was perceptive, flat out telling Danny that if he wanted to marry Steve, she was okay with it._

_Steve had been smug for one straight week and finally proposed one night while they were lying together in the hammock._

_Danny turned him down; he wasn't ready for that level of commitment._

_Steve had nodded to him, accepting it with clear reluctance, but there had been a look in his eyes that Danny hadn't been able to read; that was odd in itself. Danny had thought he knew **all** of Steve's facial expressions._

_He kept picturing that look in his head but he couldn't quite figure out what it was...._

**++++++++**

Danny finished the last of his beer and threw the bottle across the room, watching it shatter. Steve had proposed to him two weeks prior, and now he was feeling waves of guilt.

The look in Steve's eyes, he now realized, was sadness, plain and simple.

"You're an asshole," Danny said to himself. "He gave you everything, said 'I love you' so many times, but you were too damned frightened to tell him that you love him also." His own words gave him pause; he hadn't loved anyone since Rachel. Over the years he'd built up walls, refusing to give his heart away. The fear of having his heart pounded into dust again had stopped him from returning the sentiment to Steve. "You hurt him again and again, refusing to acknowledge his feelings in public, to even permit the slightest touch. How could you do that to someone who took a damn bullet for you?"

He finally dragged himself to his feet and stumbled to the shower, ignoring the broken bottle and the beer stain on the wall. As he stood under the spray he thought about the last morning they had spent together.

Steve referred to them "making love" and Danny had called it "fucking". 

It was just now occurring to Danny that Steve hadn't moved that morning, that he had let Danny have his way; Steve hadn't made a sound. And when they were done, Danny hadn't even kissed him. He had just gotten up and went to the shower, finishing so quickly that by the time Steve got there, Danny was getting out.

"Oh God," Danny murmured to himself as he pictured Steve's face; that same look of sadness had been there. "You were so hell-bent on not getting **your** heart torn up that you ignored his and ripped it to shreds."

Danny had to find Steve; he had to tell Steve he was sorry, he had to beg for forgiveness, and most important, he had to tell Steve that he loved him. 

Steve McGarrett had become a part of his life and Danny was just now figuring out that he needed Steve like he needed to breathe. 

**~~~~~~~~**

Seven days gone and still no trace of Steve. 

Danny was frantic, and even got to the point where he called Catherine, begging her to do something, to call somebody. She referred him to a friend in Naval Intelligence, who spent two days working on it with no luck.

He finally reached Mary Ann, but Steve's sister was pretty blasé about Steve disappearing, and simply informed him that Steve was a big boy and probably decided he needed a break from the "everyday crap." If Danny could have, he would have reached through the phone and smacked the shit out of her.

There had to be something that would tip Danny off as to where Steve had gone; something he had missed, something tiny. He would sit in Steve's office and go through all the files again; all the phone records; all the Post-It notes that Steve had everywhere. 

His partner was anal, that was a fact; every case they worked on was filed and cross-referenced and color-coded. And the files held no information - Danny was familiar with all the cases.

Steve's landline included four calls to the HPD which couldn't be traced to specific people (he tried but had no luck), two to the state attorney about cases that were coming up for trial, and three calls to some guy named "Mike" in Miami. It turned out that "Mike" had a boat for sale and he and Steve were negotiating a price.

The Post-It's included everything from "Gov @ 3pm Wed" to "P/U Danny's suit at the cleaners" to "Buy bread". 

Steve's laptop held no clues - apparently Steve was old-fashioned and liked paper; the man didn't use any social networks. His browser history was shorter than Danny's and as for his favorites, there were a total of six:  


[**Modern Firearms and Ammunition**](http://world.guns.ru/main-e.htm)  
[ **The Official US Navy Website**](http://www.navy.mil)  
[ **The Atomic Archive**](http://www.atomicarchive.com/)  
[ **NASA**](http://www.nasa.gov/)  
[ **Rolling Stone Magazine**](http://www.rollingstone.com/)  
and, lastly, [**The Honolulu Pulse**](http://www.honolulupulse.com/).

But Steve was by no means computer illiterate - the team discovered he was a rabid fanboy when it came to a show called [_**Moonlight**_](http://www.cbs.com/primetime/moonlight/) and ran a website that was currently petitioning CBS to return the show to its line-up.

Chin backtracked Steve's emails and found out that Steve had contacted a friend at Quantico, asking him to make inquiries on every teacher at Grace's school. "It seems he ran them all, from the kindergarten teacher to the principal."

"He's a little protective," Danny remarked. 

"A little?" Chin grinned. "He also ran them through the CIA, NSA and Interpol."

"All right, so he's overly protective of Grace," Danny sighed. "What else?"

"Nothing." Chin said quickly, too quickly, and he was about to log off when Danny stopped him. "Danny, it's not important."

Danny turned the laptop and stared at a naked photo of himself in the recliner, legs spread, a leer on his face. "I knew I shouldn't have let him take that picture, but he made that damn puppy face and begged and when we find him, and once he and I are done with our various conversations, I am going to kill him."

"Ooh," Kono smirked at the photo, "can I have you for Christmas?"

"Quiet you." Danny closed the laptop. "What's next?" His phone rang and he began to grind his teeth yet again. "It's the Governor."

"Answer the phone, Danny," Chin told him. "We neglect our job here, Steve's going to kill **us**."

Danny reluctantly picked up the phone, listened for a few moments and then hung up. "We have a hostage situation."

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve didn't want to eat, he was well aware that everything fed to him was drugged, but he had no choice. They had threatened him with a feeding tube if he refused solid food. He kept the eating to a minimum, just enough to satisfy them, but even after a small meal he was drowsy and disoriented and had to be half-carried back to his room. And he had to drink - Basic Survival 101 - the body can survive without food for 20-30 days, maybe even longer, but needs liquid to sustain itself. 

He had no clue that they were drugging his drinks also; he had seen his juice poured straight from the container. 

Duggan was the one giving Steve his drinks, and made sure that his cups specifically were dosed with hallucinogens. He explained to the staff that it was medication prescribed by the doctor, and also that Doctor Allen had suggested they be administered that way due to the fact that 'Mister Jennings' was not fond of taking them. There was just enough to send Steve on a little trip; just enough to mess with his head. A nurse had questioned the fact that an orderly was taking charge of medications, but Doctor Allen insisted that Duggan was best for the job, so she let it be.

And every time they returned him to his room Allen was there, telling him about his life - about Steven Jennings' life. 

By the end of the second week, Steve was beginning to doubt himself and who he was. He didn't have the strength to fight most of the time and he was also afraid to. When he lashed out, he harmed those around him and the male staff did not take kindly to it. They would wait until he was restrained and drugged, unable to defend himself, and then smack him around. 

Doctor Allen had begun to use new drugs on him, experimental drugs that were beyond base hallucinogens. He waited a few days for these particular drugs to take hold and then prepared to break Steve McGarrett's psyche some more.

He had done his research well.

**~~~~~~~~**

"I'm sorry you had to find out this way, Steve," Allen said thoughtfully, putting the right amount of pathos in his tone. He urged Steve to finish his juice, which was laced with a new drug. It took a few moments for Steve's eyes to glaze over and then Allen showed him a photograph. "You see! Everything I've told you is the truth."

Steve stared at the photo; he really did have a criminal record - the mug shot proved it.

His mind had been twisted to the point that he didn't remember he and his team had been arrested a few months earlier when the four had been involved in a bar brawl. 

"You were never in the military and you never chased down criminals."

"Grace?" Steve asked hopefully, so wanting the little girl he saw in his head to be real. "Is she my daughter?"

"She was," Allen said rather sadly, "but she's dead now."

"How did she die?" Steve had to know, although he was fearful of the answer.

Allen then put the final nail in Steve's coffin. "She drowned because you weren't watching her."

"NO!" Steve jumped to his feet. "I always watch her in the water! Because…because Danno says it's my job." 

"THERE IS NO DANNO!"

Steve threw the chair at Allen, who pressed the buzzer under his desk. "YOU'RE LYING; TRYING TO FUCK WITH MY HEAD! I WON'T LET YOU!"

When the orderlies entered the room this time they thought they were prepared - there were four of them. 

But the thought of 'Danno' not existing had sent Steve into a fit of raging anger.

He thrust out his palm against the first orderly and broke the man's nose, then kicked him in the chest, sending him sprawling into the hallway. The second was grabbed around the neck and flipped over onto his back and Steve grabbed his arm and twisted it, hearing the bone crack. A swift kick to the third orderly's crotch and a punch to his head sent that one to the floor, but as he went for the fourth one he felt the pinprick in his arm and turned to face Allen.

Steve lost the feeling in his legs almost immediately and dropped to the floor. "Why are you doing this?"

Allen knelt down. "Your name is Steven Jennings. Remember that."

"I...no...not me...."

"Danno does not exist," Allen said coldly.

"He's real, he has to be." Steve felt his body being lifted and dragged; he was once again placed in a straight jacket and left in the darkness alone. "Danno…please help me…oh God, please help me...I need you...."

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny was ready to collapse from exhaustion.

By day he was (the newly promoted) Lieutenant Danny Williams, in charge of Five-0, a position he had accepted from the Governor, albeit temporarily, until they found Steve.

By night he was just Danny, who barely ate, barely slept and scoured the Internet and newspapers for a clue to his partner's disappearance. 

He finally lost it the night he found himself reading the obituaries; he proceeded to trash his apartment and screamed obscenities at the empty room.

The neighbors called the police, who contacted Chin and Kono.

They found Danny sitting in the middle of his apartment, which looked like a tornado had blown through it. Danny's eyes were swollen and bloodshot, he had obviously been crying, and he was holding a framed photograph to his chest.

Kono knelt down and saw it was one taken of him, Steve and Grace at Grace's 10th birthday party. She was unsure of what to do, so she just held onto him.

"What do you do when somebody gives you everything and you screw them over?" Danny looked upon the photograph with fondness. "And what do you do when you don't think you'll ever be able to make it up to them?"

"You will," she soothed.

"I never even told him I loved him."

"He knows, Danny, he knows." Kono rocked him back and forth, until he finally calmed down. "You okay now?"

"Yeah," Danny nodded, wiping his face. "What are you two doing here?"

"Four of your neighbors called the police, and they called us," Chin explained, sitting beside them with a bottle of bourbon. "I think we all need a shot; what say you?"

"Agreed," Danny and Kono answered.

**~~~~~~~~**

They pumped Steve full of anti-psychotics, and Duggan made sure to continually dose him with the other drugs as well. It was a miracle unto itself that Steve was still able to think - just barely though. 

Doctor Allen would constantly explain that Steve was delusional, that the people he spoke about were imaginary characters. Being that the staff had no idea who Steve was, they would tell him the same thing.

Steve McGarrett was struggling to keep his identity, but he was slowly losing the battle, his memories replaced by a persona that was being shoved down his throat day after day.

He thought he dreamed, despite the drugs. But he couldn't know they weren't dreams; they were his real memories and they were striving to stay alive....

**++++++++**

_He saw a swing set and a young girl and they were laughing until an older man came and yelled at them. He felt scared until the older man's features softened and he waved his hands at them as if to say, "never mind" and let them be._

_He saw a door blow off its hinges and then the words 'Principal's Office' and found himself being reprimanded, and suspended, for something he did in chemistry class._

_He saw blood and death; he saw himself holding men while they died in his arms._

_He saw a man named Nelson? Neil? Nick? Steve couldn't remember his name, but they were fighting over a woman named Catherine._

_He had visions of crystal clear blue water and high waves crashing over him, but he was never afraid of them._

_He saw a man on a motorcycle and heard himself yelling at him to "wear a damn helmet" and a young woman beating up a man twice her size._

_Steve saw Grace, pretty little Grace, (and was she his daughter?) with him on the beach, the two building sandcastles and sharing private moments as the sun was making its first appearance of the day. He put her on a surfboard and she fell off, giggling as he picked her up, twirled her around and sat her back down, giving her directions. She pointed to a nearby house, and he saw a man there shaking his head at them as if they were both crazy._

_He didn't know what the man's real name was, but Steve knew him as Danno._

**++++++++**

Danno was always in his head, whether Steve was awake or asleep.

**++++++++**

_He pushed Danno into the pool and Danno yelled at him, but then calmed down and told Steve not to be upset, that he was okay._

_He said something to Danno and caught his own reflection in a mirror, bestowing a smile upon the other man that was beyond everything; he received the same bright smile back._

_He saw Danno on a rooftop and he was angry, and Steve heard his words clearly - "I'm a big boy and can take of myself! How could you throw me out of the way and get yourself shot?!"_

_Steve was pissed also and the two came to blows, throwing wild punches. Danno did the best he could, but Steve was a better fighter and Steve ended up sitting on him, looking down at Danno's face, one eye nearly swollen shut, blood dribbling from his mouth. Steve had been horrified and sprang to his feet, stepping back, fear gripping him at the thought that he had truly injured the man. He didn't pay attention and nearly fell off the edge of the roof. Danno was quick and grabbed him by the shirt, the two tumbling back onto solid ground._

_Danno just held him tight, staring at the edge, and then he began to cry, holding onto Steve for dear life. Steve had murmured, "It's okay; I'm alive, we're both alive," over and over, cradling Danno in his arms. He glanced down and saw the blood and knew it was his own - there was a wound in his shoulder. He had taken a bullet for this man._

_They fought again and again, but just that one time physically; after that it was verbal sparring._

_Danno kissed him one day and Steve felt whole, like the proverbial missing piece of the puzzle had been found...._

**++++++++**

Danno **had** to be real; feelings like Steve had for him couldn't be the product of an imagination.

Steve would feel good inside and reach for him, but then he would come to full consciousness and Danno would fade away.

That was when Steve would scream and the hospital staff would come in and stick him with more needles. He thought that was the worst of it, but he was so wrong.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve had once again refused to take the medication they gave him, and when they tried to stuff the pills down his throat he pummeled two orderlies and was put into a straight jacket again. He was lying there in the dark, alone and afraid, when the door opened. He saw the light from the hall, but the room was ensconced in darkness quickly. He heard the footsteps walking towards his bed, felt his pants being taken down and prepared himself for another injection.

"You're a pretty boy and I'm going to break your ass."

Steve knew who it was - that bastard orderly named Claude who tortured him every waking moment. He was turned onto his stomach and felt the additional weight on the bed, and then a body was atop his, along with the feel of bare flesh. "Don't touch me." Steve wanted to crawl away and hide, but with his upper body restrained and the weight upon him he couldn't go anywhere. He turned his head and watched the man tear open a condom packet, and then felt the hand on his ass, spreading him.

"This is going to hurt you a lot more than it hurts me."

"No...don't...please don't." Steve's words were cut off as a gag was stuffed in his mouth. The pain was excruciating and Steve howled in pain, his shouts muffled so nobody heard. 

He thought about Danno, the man in his dreams who shared his bed; the man he made love with. He knew it had never hurt like this before. Danno never inflicted pain on him and always made sure that he was ready for it; he never just took, no matter what, and he always made Steve feel special. 

Something, a memory maybe, took control, and he forced his breathing to even out and relaxed his body, giving up on fighting, which he somehow knew was making things worse.

"Fight me, you son-of-a-bitch!" Duggan rammed into him, knowing how much pain he was causing.

Steve didn't and that only pissed Duggan off more.

Duggan turned him over and removed the gag, but before Steve had a chance to scream for help, he shoved his cock down Steve's throat. "We're gonna get a good price for you."

Steve didn't understand what that meant, and then he didn't care - Duggan was coming in his mouth and Steve was choking.

Duggan finally got off of him and Steve threw up. "You bastard!" Duggan smacked him a few times, following with a punch to the gut. He then called for a CNA and a nurse, explaining that when he tried to adjust "Mister Jennings" straight jacket, the patient had attacked him, then thrown up all over himself and that he needed to be cleaned up.

Nurse Lesley Price was a sweet woman and she had taken to caring for Steve and calming him when he had his outbursts. After he was clean she stayed with him for a little while, whispering soft words to him; nothing special, just words of comfort.

Steve wanted to tell her what had happened, but he had already been sedated and couldn't form any coherent sentences. 

As Lesley left the room she heard him whimpering and caught one word - "Danno." She had heard it from him before, almost every day as a matter of fact, sometimes yelled at the top of his lungs. She'd asked Steve about him once, but never got an answer. She went through Steve's file but the closest she could find was an imaginary friend named 'Danny'. Lesley surmised that they were one and the same, and facing reality was forcing Steve to give him up. Lesley felt bad for Steve, but it was for the best. Facing the real world was the first step towards recovery.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny was in Steve's office again, going through everything for the 50th time. 

They'd had to stop their search for almost five days because the team did have a job to do, and the homicides of a visiting dignitary and his wife had to be solved. But once that was done, he was back to concentrating on Steve.

He was going over the accident report yet again when he looked up to see Kono leaning against the desk. "It's Friday."

"I know." Danny bit his lip. "I can't help thinking that somebody's hurting him and I'm not there to stop it."

She frowned, shaking her head. "If Steve found out that you were neglecting Grace because of him, no matter what the circumstances, he would kick your ass six ways to Sunday."

"I need to stay here, go through everything."

"We know that's what you think, but much as Steve needs to be found, and we **will** find him," Kono continued, "Grace needs her father. Chin and I can go through it all again."

Danny laughed a little bit. "He would kick my ass, wouldn't he?"

"And since he's not here, I will be happy to sub for him." Kono pulled the chair back. "Go and spend some time with your daughter."

"I...."

"You spend tonight with her, and tomorrow I will pick her up early and take her to the beach for a day of surfing, so you can come back here." Kono waved her hand over the desk. "It's not going anywhere, Danny."

"Thanks."

"We're Ohana; we have been since the first day we all met." She grinned. "It was Kismet."

Danny stood up. "People get shot for terrible clichés."

"Go!" She pointed to the door. "The offer of an ass-kicking still stands."

Danny passed Chin on his way out. "Your cousin is scary."

"Don't I know it." Chin didn't look up from his laptop. "You go see Grace; we'll continue the search for fearless leader."

"If you find anything, call me."

"OUT!" 

"I'm actually frightened of her," Danny said over his shoulder as he left the office.

**~~~~~~~~**


	5. Part The Third

Steve had been shut away for over three weeks and he was a complete emotional wreck. 

He kept his distance from the other patients and when he was approached by any of them for conversation he warned them off. Most had become fearful and when Steve entered the day room they quickly moved out of his way, allowing him free reign with whatever he wanted. The one time a fellow patient changed the television channel when Steve was watching had ended with four patients cowering in a corner; a few were in tears and the man who changed the channel had a broken nose.

When the staff referred to him as "Mister Jennings" his mind still shouted 'NO!' and then the word would come out of his mouth. The sedatives weren't being administered as often, but the other drugs were, and he was put into a straight jacket almost daily due to his violent tantrums.

Allen would spend hours with him, showing him doctored photographs and medical files detailing the things Steve had done. And once he saw the nerve he had struck with Grace Williams, he phonied up a newspaper article and obituary, stating that Steve's 'daughter' had wandered to the beach while he was drunk, gotten caught in the undertow and drowned.

Steve went ballistic after that little 'session', beat an orderly unconscious and spent two days in a padded cell.

Lesley was at a loss. She went so far as to question Doctor Allen, wanting to know why Steve was being fed so many medications. She also insisted that Claude Duggan not be allowed near him anymore. Steve had taken to cringing whenever the orderly came within arm's reach of him.

Allen reminded her that he was the doctor in charge and knew what was best for his patients, and then transferred her to another shift and floor. 

Without her there, Duggan didn't have to worry so much about being watched. He had free reign to enter Steve's room when he chose and terrorize him, but it backfired one night when Steve wasn't restrained. 

The orderly suffered 5 cracked ribs and 2 broken fingers. 

Duggan came back one last time and sat beside Steve, giving him a malicious smirk. "You're going away shortly, Steve. We're sending you to a place where pretty boys like you fetch a high price; a place you'll never escape from. You try any of your fancy shit there, they'll cut your throat and feed your body parts to the wolves."

Lesley had managed to sneak into the ward later that evening to see her favorite patient. She found him sobbing and held him, wanting to know what was wrong.

"Don't let them send me away, please don't let them," Steve begged.

"Nobody is sending you anywhere," she assured him.

"You have to find Danno," he told her. 

"Steve, you need to tell me who 'Danno' is." She thought back to what she had read in his file. "Is his real name Danny?"

"Yes." Steve looked up at her and his eyes seemed sharp for a moment. "He's my friend and he won't let anybody hurt me."

"Who hurt you?" She asked, afraid she already knew the answer.

"The Doctor and... **him**."

Lesley already knew who the 'him' was. "Duggan?"

Steve just nodded.

She wasn't as shocked as she should have been; Duggan had been spending far too much time with Steve. She did not, however, comprehend his wording; she assumed Steve meant that Duggan was beating him, nothing more. "Steve, what's Danny's full name?"

Steve opened his mouth, but paused. "I can't remember. Why can't I remember?"

"It's going to be all right, I promise you." Lesley forced him to look at her. "I won't let anyone send you away."

"Will you stay with me?" Steve asked her. 

"I can't; I'll get into trouble," she explained. "But I will try my best to find Danno."

"Please don't go." 

"I have to, Steve, but I'll be back." Lesley walked to the door but turned around for a moment, seeing the broken man sobbing again. She had always made it a point to keep some sort of emotional distance from her patients, but there was something different about Steve. "I need a drink," she said to herself, "and then I am going to find 'Danno', even if I have to take out a full page ad in the newspaper."

**~~~~~~~~**

When Danny picked up Grace, he shared a look with Rachel that didn't need any words.

Steve was still missing; Rachel saw it in his eyes.

The two may have had a love-hate relationship (with the emphasis on the hate) but they also had a mutual respect for one another that went beyond the sharing of a child. 

Danny had told his ex why he hadn't been calling Grace so often and why he hadn't spent the last couple of weekends with her. He had also explained about his relationship with Steve - it was bound to come out sooner or later, and he wanted to be the one to tell her. He would deal with the fallout as best he could.

Rachel had known Danny was dating someone from Grace, but their daughter hadn't told her who it was, and Rachel hadn't pried. As long as it didn't interfere with his time with Grace, she would mind her own business.

She was a little surprised when Danny told her it was Steve, but didn't make any cutting remarks about it. Rachel had met Steve McGarrett twice and knew how protective he was of her ex-husband. Danny trusted Steve with his life, he'd taken a bullet for Danny, and she knew he would be just as protective of Grace. She had wished Danny the best of luck in finding him and also offered him money if he wanted to post a reward.

Danny had declined that. 

If Steve's disappearance was made public, and a reward offered, everybody on the island would be calling Five-0 and they would end up chasing down dead-end leads.

**~~~~~~~~**

"Where's Steve?" Grace asked, pouting as they sat in the restaurant. "He always eats with us on the weekends."

"He's on a top secret assignment," Danny answered, without looking up from his menu. "What do you want to order?"

"You're lying."

Danny put the menu down. "Grace, I really don't want to talk about it."

"Did something bad happen to him, Dad?" Grace folded her arms, looking a bit worried. 

"All right, I'll tell you the truth." Danny took a breath, needing to keep it as generic as possible. "He's...Steve...." Grace pursed her lips, almost daring him to lie. "We don't know where he is."

"He was kidnapped, wasn't he." It wasn't a question; Grace stated it flat out. "I watch TV, Danno, I know what it is." She smiled. "But you'll find him, because you're the bestest detective anywhere."

"Thanks for the vote of confidence." Danny made up his mind that for the remainder of the evening, he was going to enjoy the company of his daughter. "So, tell me what you've been doing in school."

**~~~~~~~~**

Chin and Kono were keeping their respective words and going through Steve's office again, but they were getting nowhere. Everything had been looked over and scrutinized a dozen times.

Then something caught Kono's eyes, something all of them had pretty much ignored - a newspaper sitting in Steve's 'in box'. "Chin, did you or Danny look at this?"

Chin nodded. "Danny did, thinking there might have been something about a case we were working on. But there was nothing in there."

"Did either one of you look at the date?"

"I don't know; why?"

"It's dated the day before Steve disappeared." Kono opened it. "Maybe there was something in here that didn't have anything to do with our cases; maybe it was personal."

They went through it and it was Chin who found the article. "I know her."

"Who?"

"Janet Amsted." Chin read it. "This isn't right."

"You want to share?" Kono prompted.

"It says here that she drove her car into a storefront and that her blood alcohol level showed that she was legally drunk."

"Maybe she was."

"No way." Chin looked up. "Jan's parents and her brother were killed by a drunk driver when she was in high school. One of my brother's was in a couple of classes with her and went to the funeral."

"Did Steve know her?"

"I don't have a clue."

"So you don't think she was drunk," Kono stated.

"No; she started to lecture at local schools about it and that's why she became a nurse. I remember that part specifically, because her parents didn't have any life insurance and there was a fund-raiser to send her to college. Wait a second...." Chin went to his computer and showed Kono an article from almost a month prior. "Check this out - Todd Finley, a security guard from the same hospital, was found dead in his car, an apparent suicide. According to this, he put a bullet in his head."

"Are you talking conspiracy?"

"How about we go talk with Mrs. Finley?"

Kono had no problem agreeing with him.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny and Grace had finished eating and before they left Grace made a stop at the bathroom.

While Danny was waiting for her, a woman approached him. "Excuse me, but my name is Lesley Price and I work at _River's Edge_."

"The psychiatric hospital?" Danny had heard of it in passing.

"Yes."

"And?" Danny prompted, wondering where she was leading and why she thought it would matter to him.

"There was a patient brought in last month and I've heard him crying at night."

"I really don't care." Danny blew her off; he didn't need to hear about any mental patients.

"He screams out 'Danno' and asks where 'Danno' is and why hasn't he come to help him."

It took Danny a moment to respond; he was sure he heard wrong. "What did you say?"

"I was sitting in the booth behind you and heard your little girl refer to **you** as 'Danno'." Lesley smiled at him. "I didn't think you were real, but apparently you are and I think you may be who my patient is looking for."

Danny refused to believe it; it was too easy. "What does he look like?"

"Six feet or so, dark hair, and his eyes, we've been taking bets as to whether they're blue or gray; personally, I think they're hazel."

"And his name?"

"Steven Jennings."

Danny nearly told her that he didn't know anyone by that name, that she was wrong, but the description fit Steve. "When was he admitted?"

She thought for a moment and then took out her phone, checking the calendar. "The 14th, because it was the first time I was late for work due to car trouble."

"The same day Steve disappeared," Danny mumbled to himself, and then focused back on her. "What else can you tell me about him?"

"I've been a psychiatric nurse for many years, and there's something about him that doesn't fit the norm."

"Hold that thought," Danny told her as Grace came out of the bathroom. "You still want dessert?"

"You said we'd go for ice cream," Grace shrugged. "But here's fine."

Danny sat her back in the booth and flagged down the server, telling Grace she could have whatever she wanted.

"What's the matter, Danno?"

"I need to talk to this lady; it's about Steve."

Grace understood and left them alone.

Danny ordered them both coffees and they took another booth. "You said he doesn't fit the norm; explain."

"Medical records are confidential and I really shouldn't have said what I did."

"He may hold the key to a case I'm working on." Danny showed her his ID. "It's an ongoing investigation and we've hit a brick wall. Please help me."

Lesley felt for him, she really did, but even if he was the man Steve was looking for, she could lose her license. "I don't know."

Danny was unsure what he should tell her, but his gut instinct told him she was okay, and if her patient was Steve, he needed the information. "Okay, I'm going to level with you. If this man is who I think he is, he's my partner and he's been missing since the day your patient was admitted."

Lesley thought about what she had promised Steve and decided that if she lost her license, then so be it. At least she'd have a clear conscience. "I'll tell you everything I know. Let me start with the fact that most patients with his medical history aren't in that kind of physical shape; I watched him kick the crap out of three orderlies larger than he is. He moved like a...." She paused, staring at her coffee.

"What? He moved like a what?"

Lesley finally looked up. "You're going to think that **I'm** crazy and maybe I've seen too many movies, but he moved like a Ninja or something. He took them down so quick he put Jet Li to shame." 

"What else?" Danny needed to know.

"His file says he suffers from multiple personality disorder and that he thinks he's some sort of cop, but to be honest, I've been working with delusional patients for years and I've never seen anyone who believes their fantasies so strongly."

"When do you go back to work?"

"After I digest my food. I needed a drink, but that has to wait until I am off duty."

"I need you to do me a favor." Danny handed her his card. "I need you to ask him something."

Lesley agreed once again and listened to Danny's question. "Excuse me?" She was looking at Danny as if **he** was crazy.

"Just ask him, and call me with the answer."

"I must be nuts, because I'll do it." She stood to leave but Danny grabbed her arm. 

"There's something else. Don't tell anyone - and I mean **anyone** \- that we spoke."

"You got it," she nodded and left the restaurant.

Danny walked over to Grace who was almost done with her cake. "C'mon, monkey, I have to take you home."

"Did you find Steve?"

"I don't know, Grace, but I do have a lead."

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny dropped off Grace, giving Rachel a brief explanation, got back in his car and was about to call Chin, when Chin called him.

"I think I may have located Steve," Danny told him.

 _"River's Edge,"_ Chin replied. 

"How did you know that?"

_"We'll meet you there as soon as possible and explain it all."_

**~~~~~~~~**

The three met up down the road from the hospital and compared notes.

Danny told them about his conversation with Lesley Price.

Chin told him about Janet and the guard. "Todd Finley had five kids and another on the way," he explained. "It's unlikely he would have killed himself."

"Are we going in?" Kono asked.

"Not yet; we don't move until that nurse calls me." Danny was antsy, staring at his phone, willing it to ring.

"Why?" 

"I'll tell you as soon as she calls."

They didn't wait long. 

Danny's phone rang a few minutes later and he answered it. He hung up and faced Chin and Kono. "She asked her patient what Danno would do if he got pizza with pineapple."

"How did he answer?" Both Chin and Kono asked at the same time.

Danny smiled. "He told her that after Danno beat the shit out of the pizza man and called him a few choice names, he'd go to the bathroom and throw up."

That was enough for the three of them and they headed to the hospital. Danny got there first and spoke with the guard at the gate, explaining that they were there on official police business. 

Unfortunately he didn't give it a second thought as the guard called up to the hospital announcing they were coming.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny, Chin and Kono split up and searched every room on the ground floor, then moved to the four floors that housed patients, but they didn't find a trace of Steve.

They didn't even think to bring a photo of him and his general description fit quite a few of the patients.

Danny had a quick word with Lesley, who said she hadn't seen Steve since she had spoken with Danny; the room that belonged to Steve was occupied by another patient and she couldn't find Steve's medical file anywhere - it had vanished.

Two hours later they faced an angry Marcus Allen.

"I allowed you to come in here due to your reputation," Allen said, "but I also told you that Commander McGarrett is not here. I don't know where you got your information, but it was obviously erroneous." He herded them to the doors. "Now if you would all kindly leave, I have a hospital to run."

"What about your computer?" Danny asked. "Maybe we can find his photo there."

"Those records are confidential and without a court order I will not permit it."

"It was worth a shot, Danny," Chin told him. "We'll find Steve, you know we will."

"Yeah, of course we will," Danny agreed sarcastically, the three of them escorted by Allen to the exit.

**~~~~~~~~**

When the guard had notified Allen of the task force's arrival, Duggan quickly administered more drugs to Steve and stashed him in a supply closet so he wouldn't be found. 

Once the three had left the floor, he let Steve out and led him back towards his room.

Steve stared out the windows as they walked, as he always did when he was near any window; he always broke down at some point because he wasn't allowed outside.

But tonight was different.

Steve caught sight of Danny getting into the Camaro. Before anybody could stop him, he picked up a chair and managed to smash it against the window three times until it finally shattered. "DANNO!" 

The team didn't hear him; they were already on their way off the hospital grounds.

"YOU LIED!" Steve shouted at all of them. "HE'S REAL!"

"Calm down, Mister Jennings," a nurse told him.

Steve had been confused about his true identity, but seeing Danny brought everything into focus. "MY NAME IS NOT STEVEN JENNINGS! MY NAME IS STEVE MCGARRETT!"

He was dragged back to his room, repeating his name at the top of his lungs.

**~~~~~~~~**

Lesley had been on another floor and didn't get back to the fifth for about 20 minutes. She heard the screaming and called Danny back, asking if his friend's name was 'Steve McGarrett.'

Danny made a U-turn in the Camaro, the SUV doing the same and they sped back. He stopped at the gate and got out, pulling his gun on the guard. "Don't even think about calling up there." He left Kono with the guard, while he and Chin went back to the hospital.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny and Chin entered the front doors and Allen stood there, shaking his head. 

"I don't care who you are, I am calling the police." He went to the phone, but Danny ripped the cord out of the wall.

"You're not warning anybody to hide him from me again." Danny turned to Chin. "Shoot him if he moves."

"With pleasure." Chin drew his gun and motioned Allen into a seat. 

Allen took out his cell and Chin shot it out of his hand. "I never miss."

**~~~~~~~~**

Lesley met Danny on the fifth floor and took him to the room where Steve was. "According to one of the nurses, Allen gave him something when they brought him back in here and then stayed with him for a while."

"A sedative?"

"I don't think so," she replied, clearly confused. "I checked on him and he's not asleep; he's more dazed."

"What did Allen do?" Danny asked.

"According to the nurse, he talked to him, which seemed to disturb your friend even more."

Danny turned on the light and just stared at the figure on the bed. "Steve?" If he had felt fear for his partner before, it was worse now - Steve didn't look like himself, far from it.

His hair was stringy, his face (even in the dim light) was clearly pale - almost pasty - and his eyes were vacant, staring into nothing. He was also wrapped in a straight jacket. 

Danny undid the fastenings and removed it, but Steve didn't move. He framed Steve's face and forced his eyes up. "You took unauthorized vacation time," Danny cracked, "and you're not getting paid for it." He clearly meant it as joke, but Steve pushed him away.

"You're not real," Steve insisted. "You're not real and you're going to go away when I wake up."

"God no, Steve." Danny reached for him but Steve scooted back, curling into a ball in the corner of the bed. "I'm real and I found you."

"No, you're not a real person; the doctor said so." Steve shook his head vehemently. "I made you up in my head."

Danny turned to Lesley for an explanation. "Allen's spent the past month telling him he's Steven Jennings and being we didn't know any better, we backed him up."

Danny was careful as he approached Steve again, sitting beside him. "I missed you, Steve."

"Really real?" Steve placed his palm on Danny's cheek. "Not some fucked-up dream?"

"As real as can be," Danny smiled.

"NO!" Steve snatched his hand back. "I always see you, but then you go away!" He frowned at Danny. "If you're real, why'd you leave me here? Did I do something wrong?"

"I didn't leave you here; you were lost, but now you've been found."

Steve studied Danny's face, trying to focus; finally there was recognition. "Danno?"

Danny nodded to him. "It's really me."

"I knew you'd come for me." Steve fell into his arms, softly sobbing. 

"I will always come for you, Steve."

"Are you going to take me home now, Danno?"

"Yeah, home is good," Danny whispered to him. 

Steve lifted his head all of a sudden, as if a thought had struck him.

"Steve? What is it?" Danny was growing worried again; Steve looked panic-stricken.

"Grace," Steve blurted, the image of her pretty face in his head. "Please tell me about her."

Danny was a bit surprised that Steve would ask for her, but he hid his reaction; he wanted to keep Steve as calm as possible. "About four foot eight, brown hair, doe eyes according to you, loves the beach, lives for watching Disney movies with you, and has an addiction to malasadas, also thanks to you."

"She's alive?" Steve smiled, albeit briefly. "I didn't kill her?"

"No, Steve, of course you didn't." Danny soothed, wondering what had brought this on. "Grace is fine, but she won't go near the water anymore; she says it's wrong to swim without you by her side."

"He said I killed her...." Steve began to sob again, burying his face in Danny's shoulder.

Danny turned to Lesley for an answer.

Lesley paled. "His file read that he got drunk and she drowned because he wasn't watching her." 

Danny rocked Steve in his arms, forcing his own tears back. "You could never hurt her, Steve." 

"Mine," Steve stated flatly.

Danny nearly said no, but knew that would be the wrong thing to say. He didn't want to lie; Steve's head had obviously been fucked with enough, so he kept it simple. "She misses you so very much."

They stayed like that for a while as Steve cried himself out. He finally stopped, catching his breath and looked himself over. "I need clothes, Danno."

Lesley thought quickly. "I know where his things are." She left the room and returned a few moments later with a bag. "These are his."

Danny opened the bag and his breath caught in his throat. He pictured Steve wearing that "ugly-ass" brown tee the last morning he'd seen him. But as Steve put it on, Danny decided that would be his favorite shirt forever.

Steve put his pants on, but stared at his feet. "Where are my boots? I like my boots, Danno. I think you bought them for me."

"I did," Danny was smiling again, "to make up for the pair that were ruined during that drug bust on Maui."

"They were the ones I bled on when I was shot," Steve remembered, "and you yelled at me for making a mess."

"I'll try to find your shoes," Lesley said softly.

"No," Steve was shaking his head again, "I just want to leave."

"So do I." Danny helped him up and the two entered the hallway. 

They had gotten no more than 10 feet when Steve heard a voice call out, "Claude!" He turned around and saw his tormentor, grabbing Danny's gun from its holster. "You stole my life, you bastard; you made me think I was crazy."

"Give me the gun, Steve." Danny was careful to keep his voice just above a whisper; he didn't know what Steve was going to do. For the first time in months his partner was unreadable to him.

Steve took a step toward Duggan, pointing the gun at him. He had thought the orderly was larger than he was, but in reality, Steve had a few inches on him.

Danny placed his hand on Steve's back, rubbing it gently, waiting for Steve to lower his arm. "Steve, you're not a killer."

"But I am, Danno, you know that," Steve replied as another memory came to him, "I've done it before."

Danny, more than anyone, **did** know what Steve had done in the past and what he was capable of. Over time Steve had spoken to him about it; after one too many nightmares he had opened up about Naval Intelligence, the CIA and some of the black bag ops he'd worked. But this wasn't one of those times and he had to get through to Steve and do it quickly. "This is different, Steve; it isn't an assignment. You do this and it'll be cold-blooded murder."

Steve pressed the barrel against Duggan's forehead. "He deserves to die."

"Not by your hand." Danny glared at Duggan. "What did you do to him?"

"He hurt me," Steve answered. 

Danny noticed Steve's index finger twitch. "I said no." He placed his hand over Steve's. "You're not that person anymore and you will **not** kill him."

Steve relaxed his arm and Danny took the gun back, aiming it himself. "On your knees and put your hands where I can see them." 

Duggan did as he was told.

"You're under arrest," Danny told him.

"On what charge?" Duggan challenged. 

"Kidnapping for now," Kono said from behind him, cuffing him and tightening them as best she could. "I left the guard at the gate unconscious," she told Danny, and then turned to Steve with a bright smile. "It's good to see you, boss." 

"I know you." Steve stared at her; she was familiar. "I've seen you in my head. You're real."

Kono shifted her eyes to Danny, then back to Steve. "Yes, I'm real, and I'm so glad you're okay." She approached him for a hug, but was taken aback as he shirked away and tried to hide behind Danny.

For a moment Danny found it humorous, being he was so much shorter, but as he turned he saw the frightened look in Steve's eyes. "Relax, Steve."

"I want to leave NOW, Danno!" Steve slipped his hand into Danny's, holding it in a death grip and pulling him to the doors.

"Read him his rights twice; I don't want any slip-ups," Danny ordered Kono, nodding to Duggan.

"Not a problem; HPD is on their way."

**~~~~~~~~**

The elevator got to the lobby and the two exited, and when Steve caught sight of Chin he turned to Danny, looking a bit confused. "I thought about him, too."

"I hope they were happy thoughts," Chin grinned. "And it's good to see you, Steve."

Steve then caught sight of Allen; the look on Steve's face was pure fear.

This time it was Danny who pulled him away, taking him outside and walking him to the car. 

"It's going to be okay, Steve, they can't harm you anymore."

"Thank you," Steve said softly.

"For what?"

Steve stared at the stars. "For giving me back the outside."

Danny understood; Steve hated being indoors when it could be avoided. He opened the passenger side door, but noticed Steve was deep in thought again. "What is it, Steve?"

Steve opened his mouth, and then shut it, as if trying to remember something. "Grace isn't my daughter, Danno; she's yours."

"Technically, yeah." Danny cracked a smile. "But she's started to refer to you as her 'step', so all is well." He got Steve into the car and made a quick phone call before he got in.

Steve was not going to be happy about where they had to go first.

**~~~~~~~~**


	6. Part The Fourth

"No." Steve refused to get out of the car. "Please don't make me do this, Danno."

"We don't have a choice," Danny explained. "I'll stay with you at all times, I swear it."

Steve stared at the hospital. "I'm not going in there."

"Steve," Danny opened the car door, "Doctor Phipps needs to examine you."

Steve waited a moment before he got out. "You won't leave me?" He was frightened again, holding Danny's hand tightly.

"Never again," Danny promised. "We need to find out what kinds of drugs they gave you, so you can get better."

Steve allowed Danny to walk him inside, where he was greeted by Doctor Phipps. Once again he tried to hide behind Danny for safety.

Danny in turn followed Phipps to a private examining room, taking Steve with him; well, taking was the wrong word. Danny was almost dragging him down the hallway. 

"You said we'd go home, Danno." Steve's eyes darted everywhere; he was clearly paranoid. "You promised."

Danny motioned Steve to sit on the examining table. "I told you, the Doc's gonna give you the once over and make sure everything is where it should be."

Steve refused to sit. "I WANT TO GO HOME!" He bellowed, taking a step toward the door.

Danny blocked his way. "You have to be examined and that's that." He used the same tone that had worked with a younger Grace when he took her for vaccinations. "I'm going to stay with you, remember?" He was thankful it worked on Steve also, because Steve sat down, although he eyed the doctor warily.

The moment Phipps approached him, Steve shook his head and began to rip at the paper covering the examination table. 

The doctor stepped back.

"Steve, take it easy." Danny sat next to him and tried a smile, hoping it would calm Steve a little. "Just sit for a few minutes, okay?"

Steve's eyes widened as Phipps filled a syringe. "NO! NO SHOTS!" He held onto Danny like a lifeline. "I don't want to go to sleep!"

Danny eyed the syringe. "What's in there?"

"It's just a vitamin supplement," Doctor Phipps said, clearly lying.

Danny understood; Steve needed to be examined and there was no way he would allow it if he was awake. Steve was going to hate him and difficult as it was, Danny had to put Steve's welfare above his own personal feelings. "Steve, I won't let **anything** happen to you."

"It won't make me sleep?" Steve needed reassurance. 

"No." That one word was the hardest thing Danny ever said. 

Steve pursed his lips, thinking. "Do you give me your word?"

"I...." Danny paused and caught the doctor's eyes, feeling like a piece of shit for what he was about to say. "I promise."

"I trust you, Danno." Steve smiled a little bit. "I know you'd never lie to me." He allowed the doctor to give him the injection. "When I go to sleep I have bad dreams."

Danny hugged him, resting Steve's head on his shoulder. "Please forgive me."

Steve knew something was wrong and attempted to raise his head, but he was getting dizzy. "No; you promised." He tried to focus on Danny's face, but all he saw was a blur. "You lied and you're going to leave me again."

"No, I won't." Danny held Steve tighter as Steve tried to struggle out of his arms. "I'm going to stay and I'll be here when you wake up."

"I loved you, Danno, why didn't you love me back?" Steve slumped in Danny's arms. 

"You bastard," Danny spat out at the doctor. 

"I didn't have a choice. I have to know the extent of his physical injuries."

"I hate your fucking guts right now, Phipps."

"That's all well and good, Danny, but if I can't do an exam, I can't help him." 

Danny knew that was true and helped Phipps undress Steve; he didn't want anyone else in there. He kept to his word and didn't leave Steve's side while the doctor drew blood and gave Steve an external physical exam. As such, neither had any idea that Steve had been sexually assaulted.

Steve cringed a few times in his sleep, but didn't wake up and Danny was thankful for that. It was going to be hard enough dealing with his partner once he had to face him again.

Phipps finished and looked at Danny. "He's malnourished and has numerous bruising in more places than I can count." 

"Yeah, tell me something I don't know." Danny sneered as they got Steve into hospital scrubs. "Fucking orderlies in the asylum and that rat bastard Allen."

"I'll need his chart from the hospital." Phipps inhaled sharply. "I've known Marcus Allen for years, and would never have believed he could be involved with this." He eyed Danny with curiosity. "Danny, what was he doing and why did he kidnap Steve and hold him there?"

"We still don't know," Danny replied honestly. 

"I'm going to have Steve moved to a room." The doctor saw Danny's whole body stiffen. "Don't panic; I'll make sure there's a bed in there for you also."

Steve began to cry in his sleep. "Danno...."

"I never thought I'd see the day when Steve McGarrett felt fear." He placed a kiss to Steve's forehead. "I'm here, babe, not leaving you, just like I promised."

Steve was moved to a gurney and Danny had to let go of him; Steve's breathing became erratic and his blood pressure shot up.

Danny took his hand and Steve's entire body suddenly relaxed, his breathing evened out and his pressure returned to normal.

"He knows you're here," Phipps smiled. "I don't know how, but he does."

Once Steve was situated in his room, Danny let go of his hand, and Steve whimpered for him.

"He's got built-in radar," Danny mused. He sat in the chair beside the bed, keeping an eye on his partner.

"And don't worry about Chin Ho and Kono," the doctor told him. "I'll fill them in."

"Thanks, Doc, but I still hate your fucking guts."

"You'll get over it," Phipps chuckled as he left the room.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve slept, thanks to sedation. The doctor didn't want to give him anything too strong, but that didn't seem to matter. Steve's reaction to them was instantaneous, his body accepting them; he wasn't fighting.

That scared the crap out of Danny, who expected his partner to battle as Steve always did when he was being treated by medical personnel.

Steve woke up once, very briefly, glared at Danny, said, "I trusted you and you lied," and went back to sleep.

Danny allowed the tears to fall down his face, the guilt eating away at him. He lay beside his lover, holding him close. "I'm sorry." He got himself together after almost an hour and called Chin, who had taken charge of the investigation. Danny felt he was too close to the situation and didn't want to screw anything up; plus he couldn't leave the hospital - that was one promise he would not break. If Steve woke up and Danny wasn't there, it would destroy any amount of trust they had together; it might also push Steve over the edge.

Grace wanted to visit Steve, but Danny explained to Rachel that Steve's appearance would disturb her. He did let Grace know Steve was all right, telling her the doctor wasn't allowing him visitors yet, but as soon as he was cleared, she could visit him.

The Governor came by and Danny made it clear that Five-0 was off duty for a while. He received no argument and was told to take whatever time was necessary. 

Mary Ann called, apologizing, and Danny filled her in, but he was still angry from their phone conversation and kept the call short.

Catherine arrived and explained that she was shipping out for a while, and told Danny to give Steve her love.

Chin and Kono brought Danny food and sat with Steve so Danny could shower and change, and Danny had Chin pick up new boots for Steve. 

They updated Danny on the investigation, which was going nowhere.

Neither Marcus Allen nor Claude Duggan were talking; both had lawyered up. The district attorney had been trying to pit one against the other, but neither would budge. Whatever they had been doing, it was major. 

On the morning of the third day, Danny was roused from sleep by Steve's voice. "Steve?" He cracked his eyes open to see Steve sitting on his bed, the IV laying beside him; Steve had taken it out.

"I trusted you." Steve looked at him with disgust. "You said I wouldn't go to sleep and you lied."

"The doctor needed to examine you, Steve."

"You should have told me the truth, Danno." Steve switched gears, from disgust to hurt. "I would have let him if you'd have stayed with me."

"I didn't know that." Danny forced himself to get up and sat down next to him. "I missed you." He pulled Steve into his arms, but Steve was stiff and didn't return the hug. "I will never lie to you again." As if fate were testing him, Nurse Bittlebaum entered the room with a syringe. 

"This is for you, Steve," she smiled.

Steve looked at Danny and Danny nodded to the syringe. "What's in there?"

"The doctor prescribed it."

"Answer me," Danny ordered.

"It's a mild sedative."

Danny glanced at Steve. "I won't leave, I promise."

"No, I don't want it." Steve leaned into Danny, shaking his head.

"Go away," Danny told her.

"But Doctor Phipps said...."

"Screw that!" Danny yelled at her. "And don't bother coming back with anything else."

Normally she would have said something smarmy back to him, but not today. "All right, Danny, I'll let the doctor know."

"You do that."

"Danno," Steve tilted his head up, "please take me home now."

"You got it." Danny leaned in for a kiss, but Steve turned his head away.

"Don't lie to me again." Steve was bordering on angry. "I couldn't deal with that."

"Never again." Danny kissed him on the cheek. "Home it is." He tried to get up but Steve wouldn't allow it. 

"Don't leave, Danno; I'm sorry." Yet another emotion: terror. "I'll do whatever you want, I swear."

"Hey, there's nothing to be afraid of and you don't need to apologize for anything." Danny pulled away with a smile. "I need to arrange things so you can leave."

"You'll come back, right?"

"Of course I will, Steve."

"Don't close the door, okay?"

Danny was careful and propped a chair against it. "I won't go far."

Steve was already up, gathering his clothing from the closet; it was clear he was leaving no matter what. 

Danny had a brief word with the nurse on duty and went to talk to Phipps. The one thing he was **not** going to mention were Steve's mood swings; Phipps would not allow Steve to leave if he found out.

**~~~~~~~~**

"Danny, from what I can gather from his chart, and the medical staff, he's been dosed with various psychotropic's, and I also found traces of hallucinogens in his blood. I can't even sort through them all. God knows what else they gave him."

"He can't stay here," Danny said firmly. "He needs to go home."

"You don't know what you're getting into," Doctor Phipps explained. "He could have flashbacks and try to harm you."

"Steve would never do that, no matter what, and I am taking him out of here."

"If you insist." The doctor didn't look happy, but acquiesced, knowing that Danny was going to remove Steve from the hospital no matter what he said. If Phipps tried to force the issue, he would have a fight on his hands. "We're going to go over a few things. Due to his captivity and the drugs he's been force-fed, it might take a while for Steve to come back to himself. And I'm going to give him some sleeping pills as well."

"He won't take them."

"I think he will, Danny, if he feels safe. He needs to sleep, and I swear, if I don't see a change in him within a few days I will have him brought back here."

"No," Danny told him, "you won't. No way in hell will I permit that."

"You won't have a choice."

"Try me," Danny challenged.

"How long have you been lovers?"

"Four months, give or take," Danny answered honestly.

"Based on what he said in the examining room, I have to assume you've never said 'I love you' but he has."

"I was a fool."

"I've known Steve since he was a boy and his mother was almost never there when he was growing up, why I don't know," Phipps explained. "After she died, John became internal. Contrary to how Steve talks about his father, John's relationship with **both** his children was **always** strained. I am relatively sure that neither Steve nor Mary Ann had much physical affection growing up."

"That's why he's so tactile." Danny understood Steve a little better now. 

"John loved both his children, I have no doubt about that, but sometimes a child needs a hug and a reassuring word - that was not his strong suit. Steve not only needs you for the physical affection, but for the emotional also."

"I got it," Danny nodded. "You have no idea how much."

"I'll be by the house in a few days to see him, and heed my words." Phipps was very serious. "If I don't see a change, he will be back here for observation and as I said, there will be no choice."

Danny didn't say a word and slammed the door as he left. He took the stairs to Steve's floor and when he exited he heard his partner shouting. As he rounded the corner he saw Steve ready to punch out an orderly. "STEVEN!"

Steve let the man go. "I'm not staying, Danno!"

"What the hell happened?" Danny asked of nobody in particular.

"He tried to walk out and we told him he had to wait," a nurse explained. "He," she pointed to the orderly, "asked Commander McGarrett to return to his room...."

"And he grabbed Steve," Danny finished for her, getting his answer. "He wasn't to be touched, I told you that." He turned around and Steve was already at the elevator. "Steve, wait!" The doors closed before Danny got there. He went for the stairs and by the time he got to the lobby, Steve was halfway down the street. He got to his car and sped down the road, pulling his car up onto the sidewalk. Danny opened the door and got out, standing in front of Steve. "Unless you want to walk all the way home, I suggest you get in the car."

Steve did as he was told, and rolled down the window, resting his chin on his arms, staring in the distance. "I want to go to the beach, Danno."

"We're going home."

"I changed my mind; I want to go to the beach," Steve repeated more firmly.

"You have a beach right outside your back door." They stopped at a light and Danny didn't have to look to see what Steve was doing. "Don't even think about getting out of this car."

Steve opened his mouth to say something but shut it quickly. 

They hit a traffic jam and Steve was getting nervous, so Danny turned on the police flashers and cut right through traffic, breaking the speed limits as best he could. He pulled up to the house and didn't even get a chance to shut off the engine before Steve was out of the car, running around to the back of the house. Danny followed him, and stopped short as he saw what Steve was doing.

Steve was kneeling on the beach, his hands digging into the sand, staring into the sky and breathing in the air. His entire body was shaking and Danny knew he was crying, but left him alone, taking a seat on the lanai to keep an eye on him.

He knew the tears Steve was shedding were not those of fear and sadness, but because he was happy; he had his freedom.

Danny knew Steve loved the outdoors, but it was only at that moment he realized how much. And now he was more aware of how being locked up had eaten away at Steve's very soul.

After a little while Steve finally stood up and walked back to the house, not saying a word as he passed Danny. He went inside, uncaring about the sand he tracked along the floor, and sat on the couch. He turned on the TV and stared blankly at the screen.

Danny made him a sandwich and brought it to him, but Steve pushed the plate away, shaking his head and refusing to eat. He also refused the glass of milk Danny gave him. Danny pushed the plate back to him. "I would appreciate it if you would eat that PB&J." He said quietly. "I know you're not overly fond of them, but I'm too tired to make a pan of lasagna."

Steve looked at the plate, then at Danny, picked up the sandwich and began to eat.

Danny pushed the glass into his hand. "Drink your milk."

Steve threw it in Danny's face and slammed the glass down, shards dropping all over the floor.

"Thank you," Danny sputtered.

"I'll make my own drinks." Steve went to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of water, going back outside.

Danny was at a loss as he washed himself off, and then cleaned up the broken glass. He called Phipps and the doctor explained that what Steve had gone through might cause him to distrust Danny, especially since the odds were Steve's food and drinks had been drugged. That didn't make Danny feel any better, and neither did the 15 minute argument they had after - Phipps felt Steve should be back in the hospital, Danny stated that he would help Steve through this and made it quite clear that if the doctor attempted to lock Steve up again, Danny would take him somewhere else, away from the islands if he had to, and Phipps would never find them. He'd then hung up the phone, feeling satisfied with himself. 

Going out back he saw the pile of clothes, but didn't see Steve at first; then he heard the splashing. 

Steve was in the ocean, he had already made it out to the first buoy, treading water. He then swam out further, stopping at the second buoy. He was about to go out to the third, when he noticed Danny on the beach. Danny was clearly frightened and that in itself scared Steve, so Steve headed back to shore.

"Feeling better now?" Danny asked him.

"Fuck you." Steve went inside and dried off, put on the same clothes he had been wearing and sat back in front of the TV, finally falling asleep after a couple of hours.

**~~~~~~~~**

The continued silence was worrying Danny.

Steve had talked in the hospital, but in the few days since Danny had brought him home, he barely got a peep.

Oh, Danny got a "Yes" or "No" when he asked Steve a question; he received the shouted, "Leave me alone!" or "Fuck off!" when he told Steve to do something, but that was about it. 

He did get Steve to eat, but only if Steve stood beside him, watching him like a hawk as he prepared the meals, which so far amounted to cereal in the morning and sandwiches for lunch and dinner. Steve also refused to drink anything unless the bottle or can was sealed and he opened it himself.

Danny told him to stop watching TV after five hours straight - Steve refused. He shut it off and Steve threw the remote at him. Danny ducked and it put a hole in the wall.

Danny told him he couldn't sleep outside on the beach - Steve had a tantrum and pulled every book off the shelves and threw them around the room, then sat on the floor, his eyes showing defiance. They compromised and Danny allowed him to sleep in the hammock. Danny lay on the lounge chair and watched him - Steve dozed here and there and maybe got a total of two hours sleep.

The worst came on Steve's third day home.

"You need to change your clothes and take a shower," Danny pretty much ordered him. "You and your outfit smell like death."

Steve brushed him off with a terse, "I don't give a shit." 

Danny took him by the arm and tried to drag him upstairs to the bathroom, but Steve shoved him against the wall and pressed his forearm against Danny's neck. 

It took Steve a good 20 seconds to realize what he was doing, and Danny nearly passing out on him, before Steve released him.

Danny fled the house, but only to his car, where he sat for almost an hour. When he went back inside, Steve had already showered and was back in front of the TV. 

"I'm not a child," Steve shook his head, "so stop treating me like one."

"You're **acting** like a child, Steve," Danny sighed, taking a seat next to him.

"Fuck you."

"Please talk to me."

"Fine, I'll talk." Steve glared at him. "What do you want to hear? That they forced me do what they wanted me to do? That if I said no and refused to follow their orders I was beaten?"

"'They' meaning the hospital staff." Danny finally understood what the moments of temperament were all about.

"I didn't want to go sleep and they gave me shots and made me." Steve looked like a little boy lost - his lower lip was trembling. "I wanted to watch TV and they'd drag me back to my room." A few tears trickled down his face. "I called for you, Danno, I waited for you to come, but you didn't." He stared daggers at his partner. "WHERE THE FUCK WERE YOU?!"

Danny didn't want to lose his temper, so he took a breath before he answered. "I didn't know where you were; you should have told me what you were doing. I could have helped you."

"They told me you weren't real and I believed them." Steve wiped his face. "They told me my life was a lie."

"It was the drugs, Steve." Danny wasn't sure if he should get closer, but he did, placing his arm around Steve's shoulders. "Phipps says you had all kinds of shit in your system, including hallucinogens."

"I know," Steve answered. "They put it in my food, in my drinks and they shot it right into my veins."

"I've been putting this off, but...." Danny got up, retrieving the bottle of pills the doctor had given him and took two out. "Here, you need to sleep; really sleep."

Steve took them and threw them across the room. "I'm not taking any pills, so you can forget about it." 

"You've barely had any rest since you got home." Danny took two more out. "Phipps prescribed them so you'd sleep and if you don't show some improvement when you see him again, he's going to put you back in."

"You'd let him do that, Danno?" Steve was clearly distressed at that thought, his eyes moving from Danny to the floor and back again.

"Let him? I won't have a choice." Danny stood and began to pace, finally stopping and staring at Steve. "I already put my ass on the line to get him to release you to me!"

"I don't understand."

"I made a deal: You get to come home and I make sure you get some rest." Danny held out the pills again. "I welch on the deal, you go right back to the hospital, do not pass go, do not collect $200." He didn't want to tell Steve what else he'd told the doctor; he knew that if Steve found out how far Danny would go to protect him, he'd never take them. And he so needed the sleep.

"You did that for me?" Steve put his hand out, taking the pills from him.

"Yeah, I did." Danny watched him swallow them and pulled Steve to his feet.

Steve was swaying almost immediately. 

Danny slid his arm around Steve's waist and helped him upstairs, lying down as well. "I will not leave you." He took Steve into his arms and held him; Steve was a dead weight within a few minutes. Danny then settled down for the first decent night's sleep he'd had in a month.

**~~~~~~~~**

"DANNY!!"

Danny ran out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles, nearly falling flat on his face. "WHAT?! WHAT HAPPENED?!"

Steve was getting out of bed, staring wild-eyed. "Where'd you go?"

"I went to take a leak, you idiot." Danny pushed him back and pulled up his pants. "I've got this thing about not peeing in bed."

"Oh." Steve relaxed. "What time is it?"

"Almost one."

"How long did I sleep, Danny?" Steve demanded to know. "And what was in those fucking pills? Elephant tranquilizer?"

Danny was happy for the moment; Steve sounded more like himself and he was referring to Danny by his proper name. As much as it warmed his heart when Steve called him 'Danno', it had been used these past few days in the tone of a child to a parent as opposed to a loving nickname. "The bottle said to give you one."

"You gave me two," Steve pointed out.

"You needed to sleep, Steve."

"Thanks," Steve said, giving him a slight smile. "You're right, I did need the rest. I don't think I dreamed all night."

"You dreamed all right." Danny lifted his shirt and pointed to his stomach, on which there was a purple bruise. "This is what I got for trying to wake you up."

Steve ran a finger along the bruise. "I didn't mean to hurt you, Danno."

"I know, and you can make it up to me by eating your next meal with no arguments; we'll have pizza for dinner." Danny slipped on his shoes. "I'll even order it with pineapple."

"Where are you going?" Steve looked worried.

"Relax, babe." Danny palmed his cheek. "I'm only going to the office; I need my laptop. We may be on a leave of absence, but the Governor needs my finished report from a double homicide." 

Steve tried to hide his yawn.

"You get some more sleep; I'll be back before you know it."

Steve got out of bed. "I need to go myself."

"Go where?" Danny noticed Steve heading for the bathroom. "Oh, yeah, of course." He waited for Steve to come out and made sure he got back into bed. "I'll see you shortly."

Steve gave him a silent nod and turned over, going back to sleep.

**~~~~~~~~**

"You get any more information on Marcus Allen?" Danny asked Chin, pointing to the doctor's laptop.

"We found Steve's gun, badge and phone in Allen's house, and why he didn't get rid of them, I don't know," Chin told him. "As far as the laptop, I'm still trying to sort through it all."

"How's Steve?" Both Chin and Kono asked.

"I hate it when you two do that; it's kind of freaky." Danny shrugged. "He did sleep last night but he's still kind of spooked. Phipps is coming by tomorrow to see him."

"Phipps can be a hardass," Chin said. "Not only has he been Steve's family doctor for years, but ours also."

"I like him," Kono nodded. 

"You like everybody," Danny rolled his eyes, "even the guy who makes those horrible hot dogs in the lobby."

"Can we come see Steve?" she asked.

"Not yet," Danny replied, knowing how much they wanted to see him. "Like I told you, he's spooked, and also jumpy. I still don't know the extent of what they did to him, but I'm positive something else happened in there, more than the abuse we know about, and it was bad." Danny pulled up a file on the computer. "What about Duggan?"

"This guy is a piece of work." Chin scrolled down the page. "He's got four arrests for assault alone, not to mention various others for robbery, grand larceny, and my personal favorite, grand theft auto."

"Why isn't he in jail?" Danny looked the records over. 

"He was," Chin further explained, "but four years ago he 'assisted' the Feds in taking down the warden and some corrupt guards at the Oregon State Pen. They gave him time off for good behavior."

"What's his connection to Allen?"

"I can't find one, Danny." Chin was obviously frustrated. "They just hooked up out of nowhere."

"Great." Danny picked up his laptop. "If you find out anything else, call me."

"Will do."

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve woke up in a cold sweat and quickly took in his surroundings, calming down when he realized he was really home, in his own room. He was about to call for Danny when he remembered Danny had left for a little while. "He's coming back," he said to himself. "You're home and you're safe; nobody can hurt you here." But even though Steve said the words, he wasn't convinced. He checked his nightstand but his usual gun wasn't there, so he simply got another. He loaded it and then went back to bed, placing the gun under his pillow. **Now** Steve felt safe.

He had fallen into a light sleep when he heard footsteps coming to the door and the moment it opened he pulled his gun out and aimed it at the figure entering his room.

Danny just stood in the doorway, frozen in his tracks, before he moved to the bed. "Give me that!" He took the gun and removed the cartridge. "All the times I said you'd be the death of me, I did **not** mean them in the literal sense."

"I'm sorry, Danno."

"You're sorry?" Danny had the strong compulsion to punch him in the face. "You don't get anywhere near a fucking gun until you get your shit together."

Steve propped his pillows and sat against them. "What took you so long?"

"I told you I was going to get my laptop, and some of us drive at a reasonable speed and take up to 30 minutes to get to the office." Danny sat beside him and forced Steve to lie down, resting Steve's head upon his chest. "What happened while I was gone that made you get a gun?" 

"I slept, but I had a bad dream." Steve inhaled deeply. "I was back there again and the door wouldn't open, and I couldn't get out."

"They're just nightmares, Steve." Danny stroked his hair. "They'll stop."

"I know, Danno, but I feel so helpless."

"Instead of being in control like you usually are?"

"Exactly."

Danny leaned down for a kiss. "Let somebody, that somebody being me, take care of you for a change." Steve turned away again, but Danny didn't think anything of it; they still had some issues to work out.

"It's been a long time since anybody took care of me but me." Steve closed his eyes. "I forgot what it was like." He was dozing off again and this time let it happen.

"I love you," Danny said, but Steve didn't hear him; Steve was already asleep. His left hand rubbed Steve's back, while his right fumbled with the laptop, opening it. "I'm a lousy enough typist with two hands," he grumbled as he began to work on his report. After a few minutes his own eyes were drifting shut and he stopped working, shifting position so he could cradle Steve and allowed the much-needed sleep to pull him under.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny forced his eyes open and looked at the clock; it was nearly seven. He glanced down to see Steve awake and staring at him. "Hi."

"Hi back," Steve stretched, hearing his stomach growl. "You said something about pizza."

"Yeah, I did, with pineapple."

"You can get it half-pepperoni." Steve gave him a wan smile. "I won't bitch at all."

Danny ended up ordering two pies, afraid that the pineapple would end up on his side of the box. 

They sat outside, but Steve seemed more into staring at the sky then eating. "I see Pegasus," he pointed up, "and Ursa Minor."

"And I see the moon, big deal." Danny nodded to Steve's food. "Now finish your supper."

Steve stared at his plate, losing his appetite at Danny's tone. 

Danny of course noticed. "Steve, I'm not trying to control what you do, but you need to put some weight back on."

Steve dropped his slice. "Danno, are you ashamed of me or of us?" 

"Where did that come from?"

"Why don't you want to be seen with me?"

"I'm always seen with you."

"No, I don't mean when we're working, but when we go to the movies, you never...I keep buying the large popcorn and you won't share it with me." 

"Fine," Danny groaned, "if it will make you happy I'll share your popcorn from now on."

Steve flung his plate aside. "You just don't get it."

"There he goes again," Danny muttered to himself, gathering the plates and taking them inside. "Steve, would you please stop talking in riddles?" It took him a moment to realize he was talking to himself. "Steve?" He heard the shower going and decided to let things be yet again. Steve would talk when he was ready and he could be way beyond stubborn, so Danny would just wait him out. The shower went off and Steve didn't come out, so Danny went in. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" He grabbed Steve's hand and Steve shoved him away.

"I'm taking a fucking shave, because this shit itches!" Steve shot back, rubbing his face and the beard that had grown. They had shaved him in the hospital when he was sedated, but that had been over a week before. He then noticed where Danny's eyes were staring. "What, you thought I had the blade out because I was going to slice my wrists?" Danny didn't answer him. "That is what you thought, you fucking bastard. Well, **Danno** , the only thing I was doing was changing the damn thing." This time Steve threw him out of the bathroom, and closed and locked the door.

Danny gave himself a metaphorical smack, feeling, yes, like a fucking bastard. Seeing that razor blade his first thought was that Steve was so messed up that he would injure himself. Danny opted to take a shower in the other bathroom, but when he came to bed, Steve was faced away from him and refused to turn over.

"Sleep by yourself!" Steve snapped. 

"All right," Danny agreed. "I'll go and...."

"That's right, you go, Danny, you go home to your fucking apartment, the one that you won't give up."

"I can't, Steve."

"Why not?" Steve's tone was full of acid. "You get evicted?"

"No," Danny replied in a voice just above a whisper, "it's not home to me anymore." 

Steve understood the words, but if Danny meant what he was saying, Steve needed clarification. "Home is with someone you love; home for me has been you for such a long time." He turned around. "I love you so much, Danno, but I need you to explain why you can't, and don't, love me back."

"You asked me that in the hospital." Danny took Steve's hands in his, his thumbs caressing circles into Steve's palms. "I do love you and I was so wrong not to tell you."

Steve seemed surprised. "You really love me?"

"You have no idea how much, and it tore me up inside knowing I hadn't said anything."

"Does this mean you're going to give up that box you call an apartment and move everything in here?" 

"Yeah," Danny grinned, settling down beside Steve, "I think I will." He slid his arm around Steve, but Steve moved away. Once again Danny let it go, rolling onto his back.

"Can we have pancakes for breakfast, Danno?"

"How about leftover pizza?"

"I can deal with that."

"G'night, Steve." Danny wanted to kiss him, but Steve didn't seem to want much physical contact. "Please have sweet dreams."

"I'll do my best."

**~~~~~~~~**


	7. Part The Fifth

Steve woke up after 10AM and he was alone, but he wasn't afraid this time. Danny was in the house somewhere; he wasn't leaving. 

Danny loved him, and was going to **officially** move in with him, and Steve felt a smile coming to his face. He stretched out in bed and finally got up, walked to the bathroom and saw the mess Danny had left. "One day, Danno, you're going to learn to put the cap back on the toothpaste." He washed up and as he looked in the mirror his smile faded. 

He had to tell Danny what had happened at the hospital.

He figured Danny assumed his flinching when he held him was because of his experience of being locked up. Steve knew it wasn't, and he also wasn't sure how Danny would react, but he had to tell Danny the truth. 

Steve went downstairs into the kitchen and then heard shouting from the lanai. He knew the voices - Danny and Phipps. Steve heard his name and assumed they were arguing about him. He poured himself a glass of juice and peered out, seeing the two glaring at each other - they didn't see him. 

"Maybe you're right," Danny was saying. "I'll take him back up to _River's Edge_ tomorrow."

Steve dropped the glass. "Drop the fuck dead!"

Danny turned and saw a multitude of emotions on Steve's face: Rage, pain, fear - hatred. "Steve, no, it's not what you think."

"I'm not going back!" Steve ran past them out the back and headed down the beach.

"I hate my life," Danny sighed at the doctor and took off after him. By the time he got outside, Steve was about 200 feet away and Danny knew it was futile to chase him; he'd never catch up and Steve would just run further away. Steve would come back; Danny just had to have patience and wait.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve ran at a brisk pace, covering about a quarter mile before he stopped at a snack stand. 

"Can I get you something?" The girl asked him.

Steve studied the offerings. "A chocolate shake." He didn't know why he wanted that, he just did.

"You got it." She whipped it up and handed it to him. "$2.50."

Steve was at a loss. "I didn't bring money."

She snatched it back. "Then no shake."

Steve had to bite back his internal anger; this girl wasn't a threat.

"What's the matter, Sal?" A young man asked her.

"Eddie, this guy doesn't have any money," she said.

"Don't worry," Eddie told her. "He's good for it."

"That's what you said yesterday and we lost almost 20 bucks."

"Sal, meet Steve McGarrett." Eddie smiled at Steve and gave him back the shake. "Sal moved here from Portland a few weeks back and doesn't know the first thing about surfing, so I am going to teach her."

She smacked him in the head. "Not out in public you're not."

"Hey Steve, you okay?" Eddie looked him over. "You been sick or something?"

"I was...was...in the hospital," Steve answered quietly. "I wasn't allowed outside."

"Welcome back to sunshine, man; you'll get your tan back in no time." Eddie turned his smile on Sal. "I'll teach you to surf on some easy waves over there," he pointed down the beach, "and nobody will see."

She saw where he was pointing. "You mean towards the end of the beach, where that wall is, the one with the big sign that says _**Private Property - No Trespassing**_?"

"Yep," Eddie nodded. "It's Steve's little corner of the beach and he doesn't care if we use it, as long as we don't leave any garbage there, and don't get naked or nothin'." He snickered. "And if you're there and this blond guy in a friggin' tie comes out and says something, that's his cop partner Danny, but if you give him a beer and tell him Springsteen is God, he shuts up and leaves you alone."

Steve laughed a little. "And no smoking when Danny's around." 

"True," Eddie agreed, "'cause his partner's the only man on the island who'll arrest you for smoking a joint."

"You're a cop?" Sal asked Steve. "You don't look like one, not that I'm stereotyping or anything."

"I'm sort of a cop," Steve said shyly. 

"He's in charge of that task force on the news, Five-0," Eddie added. "And I think Danny busted him once."

"Something like that," Steve replied, and held up the cup, "and I'll, uh, pay you tomorrow."

"Later, Steve." Eddie gave him a small wave as Steve walked away.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny had been watching Steve but keeping his distance. Steve was in his element and Danny didn't want to interfere with him.

Steve finally seemed relaxed and spent the day talking to people. Most of the surfers knew him and had been concerned because they hadn't seen him around. 

As the sun began to fade and the surfers left the beach, Steve ambled back to the house, entering the lanai. He ignored Danny and tried to go inside, but Danny wouldn't let him pass.

"I know you're angry, but there's nothing for you to be pissed about," Danny said softly. 

"You want to send me back there and I won't let you." Steve gave up trying to go in and sat down, clearly cursing Danny under his breath.

"I'm not sending you anywhere, Steve." He took Steve's chin in hand and forced his eyes up. "We thought it might be a good idea if you and I drove out there so you could see Lesley; she's been calling every day and wants to know why you haven't returned her calls." Danny stroked a thumb along his cheek. "You don't even have to go inside." 

"It's kind of dumb, huh?" How could he think Danny would do that to him? "I guess I should have known better."

"What should you know better?" Danny smirked. "That I would leave you there or that law enforcement officials should not be smoking pot?"

"The former," Steve shrugged, "because I don't give a rat's ass about the latter."

"All the drugs they pumped into you and what do you do the moment you're home? You do more."

"You like to drink bourbon; I like to indulge in other things." Steve was totally uncaring. "Besides, they were passing it around and it would have been rude to say no."

Danny nearly laughed at that. "I catch you sharing a joint again I'm going to arrest you." He leaned in for a kiss, but Steve turned his head away. "Steve?"

Steve stood up and stared out at the water; it was time to explain what else happened in the hospital. "I have to tell you something, Danny, and I don't know how you're going to react." He turned and put his palm up, motioning Danny to stay quiet. "I - Danny, I was hurt in the hospital and it wasn't just the bruises you saw." Steve clenched his fists; he needed to get this out. "I was raped, more than once."

For what might have been the first time in his life, Danny Williams was struck speechless.

Steve bit at his lip, chewed at it until it was bleeding. "I was weak." Reality came crashing down and he slid to the floor, knees drawn up. "I didn't fight hard enough; I let it happen."

Danny finally came back to himself, trying to take it all in. "No, you didn't. You were drugged and probably in that fucking straight jacket." He knelt before Steve. "There would have been no way for you to fight back." Steve was apparently thinking again and Danny felt his words were getting through. "It wasn't your fault."

"You're right," Steve seemed to agree, "it wasn't my fault." He pushed Danny away. "IT WAS YOUR FAULT!" Steve's shout was vicious. "You're a piss-poor detective, because if you were any **GOOD** you would have found me **SOONER**!"

Danny quickly reasoned that contrary to how he appeared on the surface, Steve was far from completely healed. Steve had been too calm and controlled and Danny should have known that all Hell would break loose at some point. "You want me to feel guilty?" he asked, but the question was rhetorical. "For what? For not telling you I loved you sooner? Fine, I do. But as for what happened to you, that wasn't my fault; I didn't cause it, Steve. And I won't feel guilt over something that was out of my control."

Steve was staring at him, gritting his teeth; he didn't even know what he was saying. "I hate you."

"No, you don't," Danny said quietly.

"Yes, I do," Steve insisted, "I hate you so fucking much."

"Okay, then," Danny smiled a little, "you hate me. I'll deal. But hate me or love me, you are going to eat some dinner." He stood and tried to get Steve to do the same.

Steve wasn't thinking as he threw a punch at Danny. 

Danny staggered backwards; the punch had connected with his left temple hard and for a moment he was seeing double. His vision cleared and he saw a fist coming at him from the right and blocked it, but Steve's other fist came up and got him in the same spot. This time Danny's vision blurred and he felt nauseous, and then he was falling into blackness.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny's eyes fluttered open, and with consciousness came the strong sensation of a major headache.

"It lives." Chin smiled. "Welcome back to the real world."

"You didn't call Phipps, did you?" Those were the first words out of Danny's mouth as he sat up and swung his legs over the bed, ready to stand. "Please tell me you didn't!"

"No." Chin pushed him back and held out the ice pack. "He would have put Steve back in the hospital."

"STEVE!" Danny was panic-stricken and it clearly showed. "Where is he?"

"Take it easy, brah." Chin offered the ice pack again and this time Danny took it. "He's in his room, but he's a little out of it."

"How'd you get here?" Danny winced from the pain in his head.

"On my Harley," Chin cracked, and then grew serious. "Steve called me and said he hurt you."

"He's alone?" Danny began to rise again, but Chin motioned him to stay put.

"Kono's with him, but he hasn't said a word to us since we got here." Chin handed him some water. "We found you on the lanai, out cold. Steve was holding you and he was crying and begging for your forgiveness."

"I'm surprised you didn't call the paramedics." Danny sighed and emptied the glass.

"Too many years of dealing with various family members has taught me when medical help is actually needed." Chin shrugged. "We didn't go to the hospital after that bar brawl."

"No, we went to jail." Danny kept the ice pack to his head but stood up. "I need to see him." He walked to the other room and Steve was sitting on the bed, looking lost again.

Steve stared at him for a moment then quickly turned away; he didn't want to face Danny right now.

Danny just motioned Kono to leave; he needed to talk to Steve.

Kono shut the door as she left, giving him a smile and a reassuring nod.

"Chin says I'm going to live." Danny put the ice pack aside and sat against the headboard, forcing Steve to sit with him, Steve's back against his chest. "Unless you intend to hit me again, I'm not letting you go."

"You need to leave, Danno; next time I might do worse." But despite his words, Steve didn't try to move.

"I've **had** worse." Danny kissed his shoulder. "You know that."

"I thought I was okay." Steve placed his hands over Danny's; much as he wanted to deny it, he needed Danny's touch. "I'm never going to get through this."

"You will," Danny murmured, "I promise."

"You keep promising things, Danno, but you don't know how it feels to be hurt like that, to be helpless." Steve grasped Danny's hands tightly. "I feel so fucking dirty."

Danny laid his head against Steve's back. "I **do** know."

"No, you don't." Steve shook his head. "You don't have a fucking clue."

"You're wrong, Steve." Danny was having a hard time getting the words out, but knew he had to. "Fucking frat boy my sophomore year, got me drunk, took me to his room and did what he wanted. I told him not to, but he didn't listen." He felt his own tears at the memory and fought them; he wasn't going to cry, not again. "So believe me when I tell you I understand." His tears fell anyway, wetting Steve's back. "I didn't have anybody to tell, there was nobody to help me, and I have lived with that nightmare inside for over 15 years."

They sat silent for quite some time, almost 20 minutes, giving each other some semblance of comfort.

"That's why you dropped out of college," Steve said, finally breaking the silence.

"Yeah," Danny whispered, "and why I became a cop. I worked Special Victims for almost four years before it took its toll, and then moved on to homicide. Dead bodies are a hell of a lot easier to deal with then live rape victims."

Steve pulled forward and Danny let him go, thinking Steve was going to leave. But instead Steve turned around and wiped his tears away, taking Danny into his arms, finally returning the contact he had so desperately craved, but was afraid of. "And that's why you've never let me inside you." He understood now. "You're afraid I'll hurt you, too."

"Kinda sick, huh? I do you and don't think anything of it, but I couldn't bear the thought of you doing it to me." Danny finally let go of all the pain and fear he himself had been feeling for the past month. "I'm sorry for tearing you to pieces, for giving you pain in here." He placed his hand over Steve's heart. "You didn't deserve that. You gave me everything and I gave you nothing back."

"You are so wrong, Danny Williams." Steve framed Danny's face and forced Danny to look at him. "You gave me a life; you took away my loneliness and made me whole." He laughed a little, he couldn't help it. "Oh fuck, I sound like a wretched romance novel."

"You were never lonely, Steve. You had Catherine."

"Danny, Cath and I were never anything more than - what do they call it? Friends with benefits?" At Danny's surprised look, Steve nodded. "Why do you think it was so easy for us to stop seeing each other once you and I got serious?"

"I figured you wanted to marry her someday; have children with her," Danny stated matter-of-factly. "You said you loved kids."

"I do." Steve pointed to a photo on the nightstand. "I've already got one, thanks to you, and her name is Grace."

Danny remembered what Steve had said in the hospital. "What made you think she was yours?"

"I'd see the two of us together in my head and knew she made me happy, so I assumed she was mine." Steve rested his forehead against Danny's. "But I saw you in my head, too, when I was awake and when I...wasn't. You were always there with me, and I think, no, I know, that the thoughts of you kept me sane."

"And you've made me insane so I guess it's an even trade-off." Danny laughed for a moment, and then suddenly stopped. "Poor choice of words."

"I'll deal."

"Steve, I need you to tell me who did this to you."

"I can't." Now Steve did try to pull away, but Danny wouldn't let him.

"Yes, you can, and you will."

"No!" Steve spat back. "I won't!"

Needing to keep things calm, Danny simply said, "All right, I'll let it go," but added an unspoken, 'for now.'

"I didn't mean what I said; it wasn't your fault, and it wasn't mine either. And you are the finest detective I have ever known." Steve palmed his cheek, tracing a finger over his mouth. "And I don't hate you; I love you." He leaned down and kissed Danny with just a slight brush of his lips. "I made your pretty face all black and blue."

"I'm not pretty," Danny stated flatly.

"Don't argue with your boss; he can fire you at a moment's notice."

"Then I can file for unemployment." Danny motioned Steve to move. "Dinner?"

"I could eat."

"Good." Danny went to the door, mouthed, 'Watch this,' and opened it quickly - Chin and Kono both, quite literally, fell into the room. He didn't care that they had been listening; they were ohana and were willing to sacrifice their lives for one another. Secrets didn't exist between them anymore. "Didn't your mother's tell you it's rude to eavesdrop?" He stepped over them.

"We're having leftover pizza," Steve added, following Danny.

"I'm disowning you, cuz." Chin began to stand. "You and your stupid ideas."

"Let's just go and get food," Kono replied, tripping him as she walked by. "Oops."

**~~~~~~~~**

Dinner went well, although Steve didn't talk much. His eyes darted from Chin to Kono, and then found their way to Danny.

Danny reached under the table and stroked his leg, soothing Steve's nerves.

Chin brought up the case and Steve paused with a slice at his mouth; Chin changed the subject, telling Steve he bought a new Harley.

Kono talked nonsense, babbling about Ben and her girlfriend not getting along.

Danny began to choke when he heard the words "handcuffs" and "threesome" mentioned in the same sentence.

"What's the matter, Danny?" She smirked. "Is everybody back in New Jersey vanilla?"

"We know things that haven't yet trickled down to this pineapple-infested wasteland," Danny replied, tongue-in-cheek.

"We are not pineapple-infested," Chin did his best to look affronted, "and I am beginning to resent that phrase."

"Can I assume you know a position other than missionary?" Kono cracked.

Steve was growing uncomfortable with the conversation and Danny noticed; this time he changed the subject to something innocuous - football.

That was something they all had a good time discussing, as all four liked different teams.

Forty minutes later the cousins were leaving, and Steve just gave them a casual, "Good night," while standing behind Danny and holding the back of his shirt.

"We'll come back tomorrow, boss." Kono gave Steve a bright smile. "I'll bake a pie."

Chin noticed Steve's edginess. "Maybe the day after would be better," he said quickly.

Danny turned and saw that Steve's gaze was on the floor. "Yeah, the day after will be just fine. And make it cherry, Kalakaua, because that's Steve's favorite."

"I'll bake two." Kono walked out.

"Better have Pepto handy if she's baking," Chin told them.

"I heard that, Chin Ho!"

"I'm going to get my ass kicked," Chin snickered, following his cousin.

Danny closed the door and faced Steve, who hadn't looked up. "Hey, babe, it's Chin and Kono." He lifted Steve's face. "You trust them, don't you?"

Steve seemed a little agitated. "I do, but can't it just be you and I for a few more days?" 

"Not a problem. What did you have in mind?"

"Come swimming with me tomorrow, Danno, just for a little while." Steve looked hopeful. "We don't even have to go to the main part of the beach; we can just stay here."

"All right." Danny took his hand. "Let's go to bed and watch a movie until we fall asleep."

Steve followed him to the bedroom, but refused the sleeping pills; Danny didn't fight with him, as long as Steve actually **slept**.

"I'll even let you pick the movie." Danny stripped down, but stopped at his boxers. He didn't know if Steve would be at ease with him naked and didn't want to take any chances; Danny didn't even know if he himself was ready for anything physical beyond a hug or kiss. He slid under the sheet and Steve did the same, yet Steve still kept a few inches between them. Danny was all right with that; whatever made Steve relax was fine with him.

Steve chose an old black and white drama, and Danny hated it, and was having a hard time keeping his eyes open. He was almost asleep when the TV went off and Steve curled into him. "You okay, Steve?"

"I will be, Danno." Steve's leg slid between Danny's.

"Steve, I don't think now is the time for us to do this."

"I'm comfortable." Steve wrapped his arm around Danny. "Don't ever leave me."

"I won't," Danny whispered, holding Steve's arm close to his body. "You're stuck with me for the rest of eternity."

"Time to get some sleep, Detective Williams."

"It's Lieutenant now; I received a promotion while you were...away. Show some respect for the rank."

Steve grinned into Danny's shoulder and placed a kiss there. "Get some sleep, **Lieutenant** Williams."

"Yes sir, Commander McGarrett."

**~~~~~~~~**

Doctor Phipps called two days later wanting to see Steve. Danny had been putting it off, but Phipps had laid down the law and Danny finally agreed.

Steve didn't want to go and made that clear to Danny by reverting to five and hiding the keys to both the Camaro and his truck while Danny made some breakfast.

"I know what you're doing, Steve, and it's not going to work," Danny sighed. "I can hotwire anything."

"Why do we have to go to the hospital, Danno?" Steve pouted and pushed his eggs around on his plate. "Why can't we just go to his office?"

"Because that's where he is today." Danny stilled his hand. "Stop playing with your food and eat it."

Steve flung his fork down. "I'm not going!"

"Oh yes you are!"

"What if he wants to lock me up?" Steve was frightened again; he had been calm since his fight with Danny, feeling safe in and around the house. But outside of that little protective bubble he was edgy - a trip to the supermarket had ended after 10 minutes when Danny disappeared up an aisle and Steve couldn't find him.

"Steve," Danny took his hands, "I told Phipps if he tried to do that I'd take you away from here; that I'd take you so far away he'd never find you."

"What? When?"

"The first day I brought you home," Danny admitted. "I called him after you threw the milk in my face and he wanted you back in the hospital."

Steve flushed pink. "Am I being stupid and childish again?"

"Yeah," Danny leaned down and kissed him, "but I love you anyway."

"I don't want eggs." Steve pushed his plate away. "I want waffles."

"Waffles?"

"Waffles." Steve gave him a wide grin. "And after the hospital I want ice cream."

"Fine, **Stevie** ," Danny teased. "You behave for the doctor and I'll get you ice cream after."

"Will do, Lieutenant." Steve mock-saluted him. "Now, about my waffles...."

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve got in the car with no problem, but on the drive to the hospital he began to fidget. Once they hit the city limits his breathing had deepened and by the time Danny parked the car he was angry again. "I want to go home."

"We'll go home after we see the doctor, Steve." Danny got out of the car and walked around to the passenger side, opening the door. "C'mon, let's just get this over with." He had to physically haul Steve out, which was not an easy task.

Steve stood there for a moment, pursed his lips and pouted, but nodded in agreement. "All right, Danno."

"QUIT CALLING ME DANNO!" Danny shouted without thinking. The moment the words came out he regretted them; Steve looked like a little kid who just found out there was no Santa Claus. "Steve, I didn't mean it." 

"Fuck you, **Danny**." Steve pushed past him and stalked towards the entrance.

"I'll deal with my big mouth later." Danny was thankful that Steve was going inside with no further argument. Then he saw why - Steve had a small revolver holstered along the back of his pants. "Shit!" He caught Steve at the door. "Give me the gun."

Steve purposely loomed over him. "No."

"The fact that you are taller doesn't intimidate me." Danny reached for the gun but Steve grabbed his wrist. "Unless your intention is to break it, I suggest you let go," he warned.

Steve released him. "Do not touch my weapon, Danny." He went inside and gave a forced smile to the security guard, who let him pass.

Passing through himself, Danny saw Steve speaking with Nurse Bittlebaum. 

The moment she caught sight of him, her upper lip curled. "Well, well, if it isn't Lieutenant Smurf."

"You don't scare me!" Danny fired back. "I'm armed today." He patted his gun.

"And I'll be in charge of your next physical," she sneered. 

"Leave him alone." Steve was gritting his teeth; angry with Danny or not, at that moment he saw her as a threat to his lover. "Don't talk to him like that anymore. I don't like it."

"Steve," Danny said quietly, "Tessa and I always, uh, communicate like this; we have since day one."

"Ooh, you called me by my first name," she teased. "I'm impressed, elf. I thought you only knew me as Nurse Battleaxe."

Steve threw his hands up in frustration and went to wait by the elevator, glaring at them. 

"Come here." Danny crooked his finger, motioning her close. "If you ever repeat what I am about to say, I will toss you into a volcano."

"What is it, Williams?"

He leaned in and whispered in her ear, "If I didn't love Neanderthal man so much, I'd be doing the dirty deed with you."

"You're crass and a lowbrow," she smiled at him, "and I've got 15 years on you, Danny."

"I know, but you're still the hottest nurse on the island." 

"Not that I mind the compliment, but what brought that on?" She wanted to know.

"The way Steve spoke to you; I feel as if I need to make up for it." Danny kissed her on the cheek. "Nobody gets to take that tone with you but me." He stepped back and gave her the once over. "Oh yeah, definitely the hottest."

"Thanks, short stuff. And your next shot is in your arm, not your ass."

"DANNY!"

"He bellows, I run," Danny told her. 

"Take care of him, Danny." Tessa gave Steve a warm smile and a wave.

"Who else would do it?" Danny joined Steve in the elevator. "What is wrong with you?"

"The pizza delivery-girl, the twins on the beach, and now Tessa Bittlebaum." Steve was grinding his teeth again. "Are you going to dump me?"

"Steve, you're being paranoid **and** an ass." The elevator doors opened and as they exited Danny opened the door to the stairs and pulled Steve in. "One, when I flirt with Carly I get free garlic rolls. Two, the twins wanted to know if we would be interested in a foursome. And three," Danny paused, "Tessa may be a bitch sometimes - okay, most of the time - but she's got that long red hair, those piercing green eyes, and that pert little ass that fits so snug in her uniform. And yes, I told her that the last time we were in and I was dopey; she took it as a compliment." He grabbed Steve by the shirt and pulled his face down. "But I prefer six foot one, brown hair, hazel eyes, and a taut ass in a pair of Cargos." He gave Steve a chaste kiss and lifted his gun. "And if I dump you I have to give up that nice house on the beach with the fully stocked refrigerator."

"Give me back my gun, Danny." He reached for it, but Danny tucked it into his pants. 

"No gun for you yet." Danny took Steve's hand and kissed the palm. "And I didn't mean what I said, I swear."

"Why'd you say it then?"

"Because much as I love you calling me Danno, you've been using it like Grace does. It's not a term of endearment anymore, Steve; you use it as if you were saying 'Dad'."

"I feel, I don't know, safer calling you Danno." Steve leaned against the wall. "I know, it doesn't make much sense."

"You're right, it doesn't make sense, but then again, you've never made much sense to me, McGarrett." He saw Steve's lips coming down to meet his and placed his hand on Steve's chest, holding him back. "Now is not the time or place."

"Later then, when we get home." Steve sighed deeply. "I want to make love with you, Danny - I **need** to."

"I take it back," Danny smiled.

"Danno." Steve leaned down again and this time didn't give Danny a chance to move, his lips hard upon his lover's, licking at Danny's lips until they parted for him. "My Danno." He moaned into Danny's mouth, one of his hands untucking Danny's shirt, his palm caressing the bare flesh of Danny's back, his body shifting forward. "I can't wait; I want you right now - here." Steve didn't even consider that he might not be ready to have sex yet; all he knew right then was that he wanted Danny.

"No," Danny panted, "not in public."

Steve jerked his hands away. "Of course." He pulled what Danny called his aneurysm face. "Somebody might see." He opened the door and re-entered the hospital.

"Stupid!" Danny banged his head against the wall. "Stupidstupidstupid!" By the time he got into the corridor, Steve was nowhere to be found.

"If you're looking for the guy who walked out, he went that way," a nurse pointed.

"Thanks." Danny heard Steve clearly cursing and entered the exam room; his partner looked really pissed and was glaring at Phipps as if he was ready to kill him.

"I'm not lying this time, Steve," Phipps told him.

"What now?" Danny bemoaned.

"This is a **genuine** vitamin supplement," the doctor smiled, "but Steve does not believe me."

Steve's head whipped from Phipps to Danny to the syringe.

Phipps showed Steve the bottle. "Read it yourself, and if it would reassure you, I'll let you go to the damn pharmacy and pick your own bottle."

Steve didn't say a word.

"The things I do for you." Danny rolled up his sleeve. "Do me first." He winced as the needle pricked his arm. "I hate shots, and you," he glared at Steve, "you're buying **me** ice cream when we get out of here."

Steve remained silent as he held out his arm, his face remaining passive as he received his own injection. 

"Do you want a lollipop now?" Phipps asked him.

"I'm leaving." Steve went to the door, and turned back to Danny. "Let's go, Danny!"

"HOLD YOUR HORSES!" Danny snapped, pointing to a chair. "SIT!"

Steve ignored him and kept going.

Danny went after him, pushing Steve into a waiting room chair. "You will wait here until I am done, then we will leave, just like I **promised**."

"You're going to talk about me." Steve didn't look happy. "What are you going to tell him?"

"Yes, we are going to talk about you, and you could have stayed." Danny sat beside him. "I'm going to lie through my teeth and tell him you're fine, except for the brief mood swings."

"Then we can go home?"

"No, then we can go downtown for a walk and see people and have that ice cream we both owe each other. You need to be away from the house for a while, Steve. Even if the Doc clears you for duty, you're not returning to work until **I** think you're ready." 

"I see people all the time," Steve pointed out. "We take walks on the beach every day."

"But those are people you know, Steve." Danny thought for a moment and returned Steve's revolver. "Don't shoot anybody while I'm gone."

Steve stared at the gun.

"It's about trust." Danny squeezed Steve's shoulder.

"I'll wait downstairs." Steve stood up. "I wouldn't want anybody to see us together and cause you any embarrassment." He felt Danny's hand on his back and physically removed it. "Don't."

Danny watched him walk toward the elevators and wondered how he was going to make this right for both of them.

**~~~~~~~~**


	8. Part The Sixth

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1) I added a little humor into this chapter, because the story has been so dark I thought it was needed, albeit briefly. Slash gets a mention, because I couldn't help myself, as do Taylor Swift lyrics.  
> 2) In the Author's Notes I stated I got lost while I was writing parts of the fic and did the best I could to find my way. This chapter is the outcome. Humblest apologies if it's not up to par with the rest of the fic.  
> 3) Once again, If you don't know who the Brewster's are, go [**Here**](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Arsenic_and_Old_Lace_%28film%29) to find out. It's on the top of my list of movies to take to a desert island.

"You lied to me, Danny," Doctor Phipps stated as Danny walked back in to his office. "Steve's not okay."

Danny stared at his feet for a few minutes, gathering his thoughts. "I tried to get him to go to a shrink; he won't. His exact words were, 'Nobody is going to fuck with my head any more'."

"Is he showing signs of agoraphobia?"

"He's not afraid of heights," Danny said. "He proves that every time he drags a suspect to the roof."

"That's acrophobia," Phipps clarified. "Agoraphobia is the fear of going outside, of being around people."

"Sort of," Danny nodded. "He goes out, but he hates going further than down the beach, where he knows people. You don't know what I went through to get him to come here. And he's...." Danny paused; he was unsure what he should reveal.

"Danny, I can't clear him to go back in the field; for that he needs to pass a psychiatric exam." 

"He **won't** go," Danny reiterated strongly. "I can't force him. I already told him he can't go back to work unless he talks to somebody, but he doesn't care."

"He cares," Phipps smiled, "and I think I may know of a way for you to get him to go, but it's not going to be pretty."

"Hogtie him and carry him there?" Danny asked halfheartedly.

"Grace."

"Grace?"

"Danny, don't let him see her unless he goes for some help."

"That's low, and I don't know if I could do that to him."

"You may have to. And maybe if you talk to the psychiatrist also, Steve will be more receptive." Phipps handed him a card. "I'm pretty sure she can aid you in dealing with your own guilt."

"Does it show?"

"No," Phipps admitted, "but I know you too well."

Danny read the card. "This Doctor Cramer, is she any good?"

"I hope so," Phipps replied. "She's my sister and I'm sure she can see you today."

"I'll do my best to get him to go, Doc."

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny found Steve leaning against the car, arms folded against his chest. "You're acting petulant again."

"Leave me alone." Steve got into the car the moment Danny opened the door, staring out the window, away from Danny's gaze.

"We'll go see Kamekona," Danny said, running his fingers through Steve's hair. "I like your hair a little longer."

"I don't want to, Danno."

"Steve, don't start this again."

"Can't we just go...."

Danny knew what he was going to say and cut him off. "NO!" He'd had enough; his own nerves were frayed. "We are going to have a snack, then we will wander downtown, and after that, we will go home. Is that clear?"

Steve didn't answer; he was out of the car a moment later and had taken about 10 steps when he heard the engine start, and then Danny pulled up beside him and opened the window.

"I'm not chasing you again, Steve. You want to go home, feel free. I'm going for a shave ice." He drove out of the parking lot, leaving Steve standing there open-mouthed and shell-shocked. Whether or not it was the right thing to do, Danny wasn't sure; his mouth had already made a mess of things - again. But enough was enough - Steve needed to heal, and if Danny had to be a bastard to give him a jump-start, then so be it.

It took Steve a good five minutes to move from the middle of the parking lot, and only then because a driver blared his horn to get him out of the way. 

Danny had actually left him. 

Steve walked across the street to the beach and sat down on the sand with his knees drawn up, having an internal conversation with himself.

'I just want to go home; home is safe.' Steve heard the tone of his inner-voice - it sounded like a six year old. 'Why didn't you want to go with Danny?' He had to think about that one. 'Because people will know what happened to you. They'll look at you and know that you're dirty.' 

"I already told you that you're not dirty."

Steve turned his head to see Danny standing there.

"Yeah," Danny nodded, "you said that out loud."

"What if I can't get past this, Danno?"

"You lived a nightmare for 30 days and you've had a week or so to deal with it." Danny sat down. "Healing takes time. I can't wave a magic wand and make the pain go away in five minutes."

"What if...."

"Stop with the 'what if's', Steve. That's not who you are." Danny put his arm around Steve's shoulder and pulled him close. "I love you, remember?"

"And you won't let anything happen to me." Steve turned his head for a quick kiss. "I thought you left."

"I nearly did," Danny admitted, "but for some reason, my conscience, which sounds like a certain female cop we both know and love, insisted I come back for you." He stood and brushed himself off. "I hate sand."

"I guess I could go for a shave ice." Steve finally smiled. 

"I'll buy you two," Danny grinned.

"You'll have to buy, Danno, because I don't have my wallet."

"Surprise, surprise." Danny huffed. 

Steve paused mid-step and frowned. "And I think you should know that I'm not going."

"Not going for a shave ice?"

"To the psychiatrist," Steve told him. "I was outside the door and heard you. And - and I want to see Grace."

"If you were listening, then you know I'm not going to let you see her yet." Danny made that perfectly clear. "We'll both go see this doctor, we'll all talk, and you'll tell her the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth."

"And you, Danno? I thought you didn't feel guilty?"

"I lied, because you have enough shit in your head right now." Danny took out his phone and the card. "Let's get this over with."

"But...."

"No buts; you go for a couple of appointments and I'll let you see Grace."

"That's blackmail, Danno."

"So it is, Steven."

As if on cue Danny's phone vibrated and when he noticed it was Phipps he took the call.

His sister could fit them in within the hour.

**~~~~~~~~**

Ann Cramer was younger than both men expected and she had a gentle manner that relaxed even Steve - for about 30 seconds.

"My brother told me to clear my schedule for the two of you," she explained. 

"What did Phipps tell you?" Steve asked, immediately going on the defensive.

"Not much," she continued. "I know what I read in the newspaper, so why don't you fill me in on the rest, Commander McGarrett."

"Big brother didn't explain what happened to me?" Steve was a bit snide.

"Be nice, Steven," Danny ordered.

"Fuck you, **Daniel** ; you're not in charge of me." Steve got right in his face. "I'll say what I want and if you don't like it, tough shit."

"Gentlemen...." Ann interjected, but was quickly interrupted by Steve.

"Danny's got issues," Steve blurted. 

" **I** have issues?" Danny snarled.

And that was the start of what led to almost 20 minutes of the men screaming and cursing at one another, but did eventually lead to the truth.

"I felt helpless." Danny picked up a pencil and snapped it in two. "What kind of detective am I when I can't even find my own FUCKING PARTNER?!" He snapped another one. "I've been a cop for 15 years, I've worked kidnappings, homicides, rapes, you name it - and I didn't even have the ability to locate somebody on a tiny fucking island!" Pencil number three was broken into four pieces.

"Danny," Ann said softly, "you did the best you could."

"Oh yeah, sure," Danny nodded, stabbing a pencil into his chair. "I shouldn't have let Kono tear up my goddamn resignation!"

Steve's eyes widened at that statement.

"I failed at my job, and because of me, Steve got hurt."

"You didn't fail, Danno." Steve told him, reaching for Danny's hand and squeezing it. "You found me."

"After 33 fucking days; some detective I am." Danny looked for another pencil, and when he didn't find one, he picked up a pad and began to tear paper off, then tore the sheets into strips. "I sucked at my job and Steve got hurt."

"We went through this already!" Steve yelled. "It wasn't your fucking fault I was hurt and it wasn't mine either!"

"Hurt?" Ann asked, looking from one man to the other. "You were...assaulted, Steve?" 

"Did your brother inform you of that?" Steve asked her.

"Phipps doesn't know," Danny said, shaking his head. "I never told him, Steve."

"You didn't?"

"No, I didn't."

Steve faced Ann. "Then how did you know?"

"I don't usually talk about myself to my patients, but in your case I'll make an exception." She took a breath before she started speaking again. "I know, Steve, because I've been there. It was a date that went wrong and I didn't leave my house for almost eight months; I thought it was my fault also."

"I don't want to talk about it," Steve stated firmly.

"Then we'll talk about something else," Ann nodded to them. "Whatever makes you feel at ease."

"We can talk about...." Danny started, but he was cut off by Steve, who began to speak.

"He came to me one night," Steve began, "and you were right, Danno, I was in a straight jacket and pretty doped up. He didn't even...he used spit and didn't even get me ready; he just did it. And all I thought about was you." He knew he had to get this all out, difficult as it was. "I didn't know your name; all I knew was that you were my lover and you never hurt me, that you never took, that when I was with you I was special."

Danny opened his mouth to reply, but he had no idea how to respond to that.

"He made me...do things to him and he always waited until I couldn't fight back." Steve gripped the armrest of the chair, his knuckles turning white. "I tried to tell people, but they didn't listen."

"Allen knew, didn't he?" Danny asked, although he already knew the answer.

"Yeah, Allen knew, I told him, but he...." Steve managed to rip into the leather of the armrest. "He said that I was lying, making up stories so I could get out of there. And then he told me I killed Grace."

"Grace?" Ann asked. "Who is she?"

"My daughter," Danny explained. "She's 10, and she and Steve have their own relationship. They pretty much bonded the first day they met."

"The...the man returned after that first time and made me get on my knees, made me suck him until I choked." Steve was ripping the leather off. "He came in my mouth and made me swallow and after I threw up he beat me."

Danny turned stark white.

"He called me names," Steve continued, "and told me I was a filthy whore, that I was **his** filthy whore and that nobody would ever want me again; that nobody could love me once they found out what I'd done with him." He was pulling at the armrest now. "I believed him, Danno. How could I have even considered taking his words seriously?"

It took a few minutes for Danny to find his voice. "You were **drugged** , Steve," Danny reminded him. "Phipps said you had at least a dozen different drugs given to you in the time you were locked up; anti-depressants and anti-psychotics, not to mention the hallucinogens."

"What the fuck's the difference!" Steve broke the armrest itself off.

"Now look what you did!" Danny chastised. "You broke the nice doctor's chair!"

"Oh no, Danno," Steve stood up, "that wasn't breaking the chair - this is." He tore off the other armrest, kicked the legs off one by one, and then casually turned around. "I actually feel much better now."

"I'm glad," Ann nodded, "and thank you for the redecorating job."

"Lieutenant Williams will pay to replace it."

"Me? You're the one who busted it!"

Steve glanced around the floor. "I'll buy her a case of pencils and some legal pads." He really did feel better. 

Ann sighed at the mess. "And I think our next session will be outside, on the beach, where there are no breakables."

"I'm not coming back," Steve flat-out told her. "I've said enough."

"Commander McGarrett - Steve - I work with the HPD in counseling officers and recommending when they can return to work."

"I don't work for them."

"No, this is true," she smiled, "but the principle is the same. You don't go back into the field until I give the okay."

Steve stood across her desk, placed his palms on the top and gave her his most menacing glare. "How would you like a visit from the CIA or Homeland?"

"He doesn't mean that," Danny added quickly. 

Ann faced Steve with no fear, returning the glare. "I have four teenagers, Steve; you don't scare me."

"We'll call for an appointment." Danny took Steve by the arm and tried to push him out the door.

Steve turned back to her for a moment. "Can we have sex?"

Ann shrugged. "Well, Steve, although I must say I find you attractive, I don't think my husband or your boyfriend would approve."

Danny snickered. "You walked right into that one."

"That's not what I meant," Steve said, wanting an answer from her.

"Steve, everyone heals at different times, and I can't answer that for you." She was at a loss. "That's up to the two of you."

"Thank you," Steve said, leaving with Danny.

They were in the elevator for about 10 seconds when Danny pushed the stop button. "I'm sorry, Steve, that I wasn't there to help you."

"You were going to resign?" Steve couldn't get that through his head. "You thought you were a failure?"

"I couldn't find you and that made me a shitty detective, or, as you so eloquently put it, piss-poor."

"I didn't mean that, Danno." Steve shoved his hands in his pockets. "But I did mean what I said about feeling better now. And you don't have to come back with me for the next appointment."

"You're willing to go?"

"Yeah, I am; I'll come and talk to her some more."

Danny was suspicious. "Because you want to go back to work?"

"No, because it really did feel good to say everything out loud."

"Fine, but no breaking furniture next time."

Steve held up three fingers. "Scout's honor."

"You think you're going to be okay now, Steve?"

"I think we both are, Danno."

They headed out towards the car and heard a yell, and then saw a guy flying towards them holding a purse, a woman chasing him.

"Do you feel up to doing your job?" Danny asked, pulling out his phone to call the HPD.

"I can try." Steve stretched his arm out as the guy came past him, catching him on the neck and knocking him off his feet. 

"From arms dealers to purse snatchers," Danny cracked, "how low we've sunk." 

The woman was thankful, and Danny explained they would have to wait for the HPD.

Steve just stood there, until Danny elbowed him. "Your job, remember? You have to start somewhere."

"Book 'em, Danno?"

"Other than that," Danny told him, feeling all tingly at hearing those words again; he had missed them.

"I'll do my best." Steve yanked the man to his feet. "You have the right to remain silent." 

The perp opened his mouth. 

"Uh-uh," Steve warned, "I said silence."

"The rest, Steve," Danny said as he handcuffed the guy. "I know you have Miranda memorized, even though you hate using it." 

Steve inhaled sharply and the words began to flow on autopilot. "If you give up the right to keep your mouth shut, I will ignore you now, but later on, I will repeat it all in court. You have the right to an attorney, and I'm betting you knew that and probably have one on speed-dial." He took the man's phone, scrolling through the names. "I knew it. And you have Harry Farber - why am I not surprised?"

"Didn't Harry blackmail a prosecution witness?" Danny asked. "I thought he was disbarred." 

"Apparently not." Steve shrugged. "Now, where was I? Oh, right. You already have Harry, so the court does not have to give you a lawyer, which will save the tax-payers some money." The woman was giggling and Steve smiled at her, and then stared at the perp. "Do you understand your rights?"

"No," the man shook his head. "That was a shitty Miranda and I'll be out on the streets within an hour."

"He's right." Danny gave the perp the proper Miranda as the squad car arrived. "I know you understood that." Danny handed him over to the cops, who took both their statements and the woman's. "And tell Harry that Steve and Danny will see him in court." He and Steve walked to the Camaro. 

"Danno, can I drive?"

"If you stick within the speed limit and don't run anybody over."

"Even the tourists in those loud Hawaiian shirts?"

"Especially those," Danny sighed, tossing him the keys. "Too much paperwork." Steve opened the driver's side door, but Danny put his hand up. "Just a second." He took a deep breath, ambled over to Steve and grabbed him by the shirt. "I am not ashamed or embarrassed to be seen with you in public." He shoved Steve against the car and kissed him deeply, grabbing Steve's ass and grinding their hips together. He finally let Steve go, gasping for breath. "Best kisser on the island," he teased.

"Home." He placed his fingers to Danny's lips as Danny prepared to answer him. "I need to make love with you." 

"Are you sure you're ready for that, Steve?" Danny grasped his hand. "Maybe we should wait."

"Danny, if I can't deal with it yet, then we'll stop and wait and try again at another time; but we have to try."

"And tomorrow we go out?"

"Tomorrow I will do whatever you want me to do." He leaned in for a quick kiss. "I promise."

"Okay, then," Danny agreed. "Home it is."

They got in the car and Steve gunned the engine, and then noticed the CD on the floor. "There it is."

Danny looked horrified; he could have sworn he'd gotten rid of it. "No, Steve, please, anything but that." He groaned as Steve put the CD in the player, the song started, and his tone deaf partner began to sing.

_"There's somethin' 'bout the way the street looks when it's just rained_  
There's a glow off the pavement, you walk me to the car  
And you know I wanna ask you to dance right there  
In the middle of the parking lot, yeah" 

"I know this wretched song also." Danny sneered. "You've played it so many times I learned the lyrics." His own voice cracked as he sang the next verse, trying to keep up with the high pitch.

_"We're drivin' down the road, I wonder if you know_  
I'm tryin' so hard not to get caught up now  
But you're just so cool, run your hands through your hair  
Absent-mindedly makin' me want you" 

Steve stopped for a light, turned and drew Danny into a kiss, pulling back with a grin, and the two sang the song through to the end.

Danny noticed they had just hit the highway on-ramp. "Why does Hawaii have Interstates? It's not like you can drive to California." He glanced down the highway.

"No, you can't," Steve agreed. "And it's pretty deserted."

"Steve, don't." It was a warning.

Which Steve, as always, ignored. "No cars." He hit the gas and took the Camaro to 90; the moment Danny screamed he moved to 100. 

"I DETEST YOU!"

"Just for that...." Steve brought the car to 115 and zoomed past an HPD cruiser. 

It didn't take long before the cruiser was bearing down on them. Slowing down to let it move alongside, Steve waited until they motioned him to pull over and then got on their speakers, ordering him to - then he floored it again.

"Miles and miles of empty road." Steve glanced at the speedometer. "120."

"We're going to die," Danny casually mentioned.

"How fast will this car go?" Steve wondered aloud, watching the speed climb to 135.

Within two exits they had 3 squad cars after them. 

"You have to slow down, Steve." But contrary to his words, Danny wasn't frightened.

"No I don't." Steve made it to 145. "There's nobody out here but us and them."

Danny's cell rang and he answered with, "Ricky Rudd School of Driving."

_"This is dispatch for Lieutenant Williams."_

"This is Williams," he said calmly.

_"It seems a maniac has stolen your car, has it on the highway and is now doing - holy shit - 156!"_

"I'm in my car," Danny informed them.

 _"McGarrett's driving, isn't he?"_ The dispatcher casually asked.

"It's okay!" Steve shouted. "We're in pursuit!" He didn't elaborate, but did notice the squad cars slow down.

"If you're done giving me a cardiac arrest," Danny smiled as he hung up, "I'd appreciate you slowing down."

"I'm done." Steve slowed to 90. "I - it felt good, Danno." He caught Danny's look. "You knew I'd do that, didn't you?"

"I suspected," Danny said, "and I also knew you needed to."

Bringing it down to 50, Steve took his exit. "I wonder how fast...."

Danny interrupted him, flushing pink. "My record in this car is 174." 

" **You** break the speed limit?"

"Only on the track here," Danny explained. "Although I did have...a few...speeding tickets fixed in New Jersey."

"What's your record?" Steve asked. "Mine's 190 - in a Lamborghini on the Autobahn."

"212." Danny looked rather smug. "Undercover back in Newark. I was driving a Ferrari."

"I need another car, and a Ferrari would be pretty cool," Steve mused. "Or maybe the Lamborghini - it handled like a dream." He pulled into the driveway. "Yeah; that sounds good."

"And where do you intend to get the, oh, 200 grand to buy one?" Steve didn't answer him and as the two got out of the car Danny faced him over the hood. "Steve, how much money do you have?"

"Enough," Steve answered with a straight face. "Why?"

"Because as your spouse," Danny teased, "I am entitled to half of the 20 million you have stashed." He heard Steve mutter something and his mouth dropped open. "HOW MUCH?!"

"You heard me," Steve said softly.

"Where did you get - I can't even say that amount."

Steve opened the door but stopped for a moment, facing Danny. "Grandma McGarrett made wise investments; Grandma and Grandpa Brewster made their money other ways; my father had an outrageous life insurance policy. I never wanted any of it and neither did Mary Ann. We're self-sufficient."

"Excuse me?"

"I figured you wanted to know where the money came from," Steve continued. "Granny McGarrett was way ahead of her time; she was into sci-fi movies and just knew that computers were going to take off. She purchased a gazillion shares of Microsoft the day the stock went public and bought into every single company that dealt in microchips." Steve snickered a bit. "Grandma and Grandpa Brewster were con artists, among other things," he was obviously not telling all, "and God knows where they obtained **their** money."

"Brewster?" The name sounded familiar to Danny, but he couldn't place it.

"My mother's family; between them, my grandparents had 41 arrests in 19 states." Steve paused. "And if you want the money, Danno, it's yours."

"I don't want your money, Steve." 

Steve smirked. "I can buy us a small country. Would you like to own one?"

"I'll settle for you buying yourself a Camaro; maybe then you'll stop driving mine."

"What did happen to my rental car?" Steve wanted to know. "And how did the CD survive?"

"To question one, it went off a pier, and as for question two, because God hates me." Danny nodded to the kitchen. "Food? I think I can scrounge up something, even though the cupboards are bare."

"Mac and cheese?"

"You want something instant?" Danny laughed. "I'm shocked."

"It's either that or peanut butter again." Steve turned on the TV. "Ooh, look, 'Divorce Court'. Maybe I'll get an idea of what to do with you."

Danny grew serious. "Don't joke about that, Steve."

"Fine, Danno." Steve switched to 'Hannah Montana'. "Better now?"

"No, it's not better; her music is worse than Taylor Swift."

"I think she's kind of cute," Steve grinned.

"You crush on her? You're a dirty old man," Danny teased.

"She's legal now, so I'm safe."

"I'm glad you're going to a psychiatrist." Danny changed the channel. "Hey, isn't that the show you like? The one about the vampire detective?"

"How did you know that?" Steve asked, kicking off his sneakers and propping his feet up. "And yeah, it's 'Moonlight'."

"When we were looking for you, we found it on your laptop."

Steve seemed to think of something and booted up his laptop. "I was supposed to get out the new petition over a month ago!" 

"Relax," Danny smiled as he went into the kitchen. "Kono's a fan, too, and she took care of it."

Steve joined him, reading Kono's petition. "Wow, if they don't bring the show back after what she wrote, they're pretty stupid."

"And what's slash and why did Kono say she had to share the site with her...'Mick and Josef' list?"

"Ask her, because I don't read it," Steve answered, turning on the TV in the kitchen.

"That guy looks like you, you know," Danny pointed out as he placed the food in the microwave. "A little younger, but still."

Steve shrugged. "Alex is my cousin on my father's side; my mom's sister married my father's brother, so it's no wonder we look alike."

"You have a weird family tree, don't you?" Danny asked.

"You have no idea, Danno." Steve was reading something online when he muttered, "The cops only found the 12 bodies in the basement, but I just know there were more."

"Huh? What bodies in which basement?"

"One teaspoon of arsenic, half a teaspoon of strychnine, and a pinch of cyanide." Steve sighed loudly. "My mother's family is the reason I don't drink wine."

Danny didn't understand Steve's words and let them go. He placed lunch on the table and began to eat when his head snapped up. "Brewster!" Danny's eyes grew wide. "Holy shit!"

"Yes, Danny," Steve said calmly, "my mother was a niece of one of **those** Brewster's."

"The Brooklyn Brewster's? The insane family with the Aunts that poisoned a dozen men with..." Danny's eyes moved to the bottle on the counter, "...wine? Back in the 1940s?"

"That was them," Steve replied non-chalantly. "Maybe I should have stayed in the hospital; with my family's mental history I was probably bound to end up there anyway."

"That's not funny, Steve. Deranged as you sometimes are, it's not enough to warrant you in there."

They ate the rest of their meal in silence, Danny watching the show, Steve surfing the Internet, and then returned to the living room to watch a few more episodes.

Steve finally stood and headed for the stairs. "You owe me a bubble bath; I'm going to fill the tub." 

"The show, by the way, is awful."

"You have no taste, Danno." Steve went up, Danny staring after him.

"I have no taste?" Danny mumbled to himself. "I'm not the one who watches 'Hannah Montana' and blasts Taylor Swift day and night. And now he wants a bubble bath." He stood there for a few minutes before he followed upstairs, hearing the water running, and peered into the bathroom. 

Steve was lying in the massive tub with his feet up. "Are you going to join me or just stare?"

Danny kicked off his shoes and loosened his tie, sliding it off. "Three cheers for Mister Bubbles." He undid his pants and they fell, followed by his unbuttoning his shirt and taking it off. He paused at his boxers though. "Steve, I know what you said, but maybe we should just try **taking** a bath and nothing more."

"Danny, are you going to take off your socks or is wearing them in the bath a kink of yours?"

Danny removed his left sock, balancing on the edge of the tub, but when he went for his right he wasn't paying full attention and lost his balance. Trying to stop his fall, he overbalanced and fell in, but Steve caught him. 

"Back in my arms again," Steve laughed, "I'm satisfied."

"Quit quoting song lyrics," Danny huffed. 

Steve shut off the water and moved them so Danny was sitting against the wall of the tub. "I want to make love."

"So you've said a dozen times," Danny replied with a hint of a smile. "When we get out of here."

"Now." Steve hooked his fingers in Danny's boxers and pulled them off, and then reached over the side and picked up a tube. "Waterproof lube."

"Where'd you get that?"

"I bought it a couple of months ago," Steve said shyly, "after I had the tub installed."

"And both times we used it I fell asleep." Danny was clearly contrite. "I'm sorry."

"Make it up to me, Danno." Steve placed kisses on Danny's neck. "Take the nightmares away."

Danny so wanted to pounce, to take Steve fast and hard, but thought better of it. "And what if you can't deal with it, Steve? What if I make things worse?"

"No," Steve lowered his voice, "you can only make it better." He moved his lips to Danny's. "Kiss me."

"I have no problem with that." Danny's hands wound in Steve's hair and as he pulled Steve's mouth to his, he whispered, "I love you."

Steve covered Danny's mouth with his own, eating him alive. His hands seemed to get a life of their own, gliding all over Danny's body - down his back, to his ass, gripping his thighs, up to his biceps - all the while feeding on Danny with teeth, lips and tongue. 

"STEVE!" Danny ripped their lips apart, catching his breath. "Take it easy." He saw the hurt look on Steve's face. "I didn't say we wouldn't, but we do this my way or we don't do it at all." Danny took the tube and wondered how they were going to do it.

"Like this." Steve pulled Danny forward and sat in his lap, his knees braced on either sides of Danny's. 

"Quit reading my mind." Danny studied their position and his expression spoke quite clearly.

"I need to see your face, Danno; I need to hear your voice." Steve stroked Danny's hair. "I want you to look at me like you used to; I don't want to be dirty."

Danny lifted his head from Steve's chest and stared into his eyes. "You are **not** dirty; never say that again. Nothing that bastard did will ever make me think that."

"Touch me." Steve's voice was gritty, almost hoarse. "I want you inside of me." 

"My way," Danny reiterated, flipping the cap and squeezing some onto his fingers.

Steve took Danny's hand and moving it between his legs. "In me." He forced one of Danny's fingers inside, moving Danny's hand back and forth. "More, Danno."

Danny got a second finger inside and his free hand rubbed slow circles along Steve's back. He was gentle, more than he had ever been. 

Steve took the lube and warmed some in the palm of his hand. He anointed Danny's cock with slow and steady strokes until he couldn't take it anymore. "Do it now; don't make me wait."

In truth Danny couldn't wait himself, but he had to take this slow and easy. This wasn't fucking anymore; it was making love. Had he ever done that? Even with Rachel it had been sex, plain and simple. He didn't realize he had stopped moving until he heard Steve's broken voice.

"Danno?"

"I'm here." Danny reassured him, lifting Steve a bit. "You're sure?"

Steve held Danny's cock steady and lowered himself, watching Danny's eyes close. "Please look at me."

"I'm sorry," Danny murmured, his eyes snapping open, hands grasping Steve's hips, his cock sliding between the folds, into the warmth. "You okay?"

"Always with you, Danno," Steve smiled, "always with you." 

Every time Danny's eyes wanted to drift shut, every time he wanted to just feel Steve's ass around his cock, he fought it. His eyes remained locked with Steve's, showing what was in his heart.

Every moan and every gasp were verbalized in full. The words flowed with affection and fondness; every one a declaration of worship.

"Beautiful." "Amazing." "Pure." "Perfect." Each word was punctuated with a brief kiss. "Decadent." "Hot." "Sexy." Danny drew Steve's mouth to his and kissed him deeply, allowing himself one moment to close his eyes and to revel in the physical feeling. He came up for air with a playful grin. "Hedonistic and carnal." He thrust up with languid strokes, forcing himself to keep a relaxed rhythm. "And totally desirable."

Steve was gripping Danny's shoulders, sliding along his cock and grinding his ass down to take all of Danny inside. He bent his head, kissing and biting at Danny's neck, riding faster, so wanting Danny to take him rough. He licked Danny's ear, tonguing the lobe, blowing hot breath, asking for it "harder" and "deeper."

"No," Danny told him, "not like that; not this time."

Steve was teetering on the edge. "Danny - Danno, tell me again."

And Danny knew the words Steve wanted to hear and he spoke them with the softest of sighs. "I love you."

Steve came and kissed Danny with a passion he had never felt and never known. 

As Danny came he threaded his fingers in Steve's hair and melted into the kiss, losing himself in Steve.

The kiss they shared wasn't filthy or lewd; it wasn't simple or chaste.

It was a touch of fire and a taste of joy.

It was everything that Steve McGarrett felt for Danny Williams and it was returned tenfold.

"Steve, babe," Danny smiled.

"Anything, Danno."

"I'm getting waterlogged."

Steve stared at him blankly. "Huh?"

"I think I destroyed every brain cell you have." Danny splashed a little. "The water is lukewarm and my skin's getting pruny."

"Pruny is not a word."

"Don't get picky." Danny grabbed a towel as he stood. "We'll lie down for a while and then eat some dinner."

"I'm not hungry." Steve yawned as he dried off. "I'm tired."

"That makes two of us," Danny kissed him. "Bedtime is getting earlier and earlier. I think we're getting old."

"Speak for yourself." As they slid under the blanket Steve shifted so that his head was resting on Danny's chest. "I love you, Danno."

"I know; I'm irresistible." Danny felt Steve's frown against his skin. "I love you, too, McGarrett."

Both were exhausted and quickly dropped off to sleep.

**~~~~~~~~**

The peace and quiet lasted until 4am; that was when Steve began to dream.

**++++++++**

_He was running to the door; Danny was there, talking to Marcus Allen._

_"DANNY!"_

_Danny turned around and glared at him, having a few more words with the doctor before entering the elevator._

_"DON'T LEAVE ME!"_

_The door slammed shut._

_He pounded on it, the words "LET ME OUT!" being mouthed, but his voice wouldn't work; the screams were silent._

_Hands grabbing at him, pulling him down, covering his mouth - he couldn't breathe._

_He was being dragged away and as he glanced up he saw Danny again, standing over him._

_"Why, Danno?" Steve didn't hear his voice but he knew he was asking the question._

_"Because," Danny leaned down, "I just don't care."_

**++++++++**

Steve sat up, trying to breathe, a brief panic settling over him until he heard Danny's deep breaths beside him. His face was wet from the tears shed while he was asleep. Being as quiet as he could, Steve got out of bed and put on shorts and a tee.

"Where you going?" Danny asked, having heard Steve the whole time. "It's..." he looked at the clock, "...4:10."

"Out for a few." Steve pulled on his sneakers. "I need to run."

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve didn't know how long he ran, but the sun was rising as he made it back to the house.

"I made coffee." Danny handed him a cup. "You have to tell me who hurt you, Steve; it'll stop the nightmares."

"I don't want to, so please stop asking me."

"All right, I will." Danny didn't have a clue of what to do regarding Steve's reluctance to tell him.

Ann told him to leave it be, that when and if Steve was ready he **might** (she stressed the word) give Danny a name.

But Danny knew that until Steve did, there were going to be many more endless and sleepless nights for them.

**~~~~~~~~**

After three solo sessions, Ann Cramer finally cleared Steve for light duty, which translated to paperwork.

Danny wondered if Steve had delivered any further threats and questioned her, but she explained that Steve needed to go back to the office. The confidentiality prevented her from going into details, but she did tell Danny that there wasn't much more she could do for him. 

Steve was excited about going back to work and looked over his gun collection. "Which one do I take?"

"Take the Ruger." Danny tossed it to him. "I know it's your favorite."

"We don't have to go, you know," Steve pointed out. "We could just have sex again."

Danny glanced down at his crotch. "Two orgasms already, Steve - in bed and in the shower."

"I know, and I could go again."

"Yes, I'm sure you could, but some of us are not Super-SEAL's with miraculous cocks that swell at the drop of a hat."

"I bet I could get you hard one more time." Steve took a step forward; Danny stepped back and grabbed himself between the legs.

"Leave him alone," Danny warned. "He's sore and worn out and is taking the rest of the day off."

"You're talking about your dick in the third person, Danno."

"Please, Steve, give me a break." Danny was begging. "I promise, if you let me go to work for a few hours, I'll play with you after supper."

"I'll hold you to that."

"Yeah," Danny grunted, "I know you will."

**~~~~~~~~**

The drive to work grated on Danny's nerves, and it was, once again, due to Taylor Swift. "That does it." He ejected the CD and broke it against the dashboard.

"You cracked my CD." Steve held the two pieces, looking a bit sad. 

"So I did," Danny nodded. "I should have done it sooner."

"You're cruel." Steve opened the glove compartment and took out another CD. "I always have a back-up plan."

"I can't win."

"I love you, Danno." Steve slid the CD in. 

Danny made the most godawful face until he heard the opening riff to _Night_ and grinned.

Springsteen he could deal with, no problem.

**~~~~~~~~**

"Hey, McGarrett," somebody shouted from across the parking garage, "it's about time you got back!"

"Williams has been running rampant without a keeper!" Another voice yelled.

Steve inhaled sharply and Danny heard him.

"They're friends, Steve, and all they know is you were kidnapped, nothing more." Danny kept his voice low. "They're just glad to see you, like your buddies at the beach."

Steve wasn't a cop, but the members of the HPD didn't seem to care - as far as they were concerned he was one of them, and from what Steve was hearing they were very happy to have him back. He entered Five-0 headquarters, getting a salute from both Chin and Kono and went into his office, glancing around in surprise. "What is all of this?"

"I told you," Danny smiled, "people like you. Why, I don't know," he teased, "but they do."

"You were missed," Kono told him, "and they wanted to welcome you back."

Steve's office was filled with everything from flowers and chocolate to balloons and various food stuffs. But one particular item made his eyes light up and he was grinning as he held it.

Danny looked murderous. "Who the hell brought that?!"

"Toast," Kono giggled. "He said he cares enough to send the very best."

"We are law enforcement officers, not...." Danny took the pot plant from Steve. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

"You transplant it, cultivate it, talk to it and if you're lucky, it grows," Chin helpfully supplied.

"Not you too," Danny groaned, considering the best way to get rid of it in a building full of police officers; then he wondered how Toast got it inside to begin with.

"I can't keep it?" Steve asked with a full-on pout.

"NO!" Danny snapped. "This keeps up I'm going to have to arrest us all for possession."

"I'm not doing the paperwork." Chin took the plant from Danny. "But I will take care of this."

"What are you going to do with it?" Danny asked, a bit wary.

"Transplant it, cultivate it and talk to it." Chin was very matter-of-fact. "And if I'm really lucky, it'll grow."

Steve watched Danny from the corner of his eye. "Hands off the Bundt cake, Lieutenant." He swatted Kono's hand away. "Don't touch the truffles, Officer Kalakaua."

Kono frowned and mock-sniffled.

"Okay, Kono, just one," Steve sighed, watching her leave his office. "I meant one truffle, not one box!" He sat down at his desk and asked for all the cases they had worked on for the past month, and then set about the task of color-coding, cross referencing and filing them.

At noon Steve came out of his office and approached Chin, who was speaking with Danny. "What's happening with the investigation?"

"Which one?" Chin asked.

"You know which one."

Chin looked to Danny as if asking for permission to discuss it.

"Don't look at him, Lieutenant Kelly," Steve warned. "I asked you a question and I want an answer."

"Show him," Danny agreed.

They went to the computer and Chin pulled up some information. "I went through the hospital records," he began, "and discovered that patients have been disappearing over the past four years or so."

"Experimentation?" Steve asked.

"That's what we thought," Danny added, "and when that didn't pan out, we figured it was drugs."

"Then what was Allen into?" Steve needed to know. "What did Jan find out that got her killed?"

"Human trafficking," Kono said, disgusted. "He's been selling people to the highest bidder; those that didn't have family, the ones that wouldn't have been missed."

"What?" Steve looked like he was going to be sick. "How did you find that out?" He stared from one of his team to the other, his eyes finally resting on Danny's.

"The DA gave Claude Duggan a reduced sentence to turn on Allen," Danny told him. "Apparently your friend Janet discovered some discrepancies in patient records and went to the doctor, just like you did. I'm sorry, Steve." 

"They've been preparing phony ID's and passports to get them off the island, sending them to God knows where." Kono was fuming. "I can't grasp it; it's beyond me how someone could do that."

"That explained things." Danny stared down at his feet.

"Explained what?" Steve asked, noticing the three growing quiet. "Tell me."

Chin swallowed hard. "We found it yesterday in Duggan's safe deposit box, along with a one-way plane ticket to Kazghanistan dated the day after we found you." He placed the passport in front of Steve. "If we hadn't found you when we did...." Chin let his voice trail off.

Steve opened the passport, seeing his photograph, identifying him as 'Steven Jennings'.

He remembered what Claude Duggan had said after he'd assaulted Steve the first time.

_"We're gonna get a good price for you."_

He felt the bile in this throat and fled to the bathroom, emptying the contents of his stomach. He was dry-heaving after a few minutes, trying to catch his breath, when he felt the cool cloth wiping his face. "Chin's right; you never would have found me if you had come a day later." 

Danny knew that to be the truth, but there was no way he would ever say it and removed the thought from his mind. Instead he held Steve close and said, "You're wrong, Steve, because I never would have stopped looking for you."

"Just this one time, Danny, thanks for lying." Steve relaxed in his arms. "I never apologized for going off on my own without telling you. You were right about my military training - it did me no good in there."

"We don't need to discuss that." Danny knew Steve had learned a hard lesson; he didn't need a lecture. "Are you going to be ready to take charge again soon?"

Steve nodded, getting to his feet.

"Well, good, because being in charge of Five-0 is no bed of roses. I want a raise after the crap I've had to put up with."

"I think your boss will be back to work soon and you can return to being a flunky."

"I like being a flunky," Danny told him, "less stress." 

"My mouth tastes like shit."

Danny went to Steve's locker and handed him a toothbrush and some toothpaste. Once Steve was done he handed him a bottle of Scope. "Rinse and spit."

"Thanks for the tip," Steve deadpanned. "How about we spend the rest of the day together?"

"No can do," Danny answered with a small frown. "I have some work to finish, because one of us has to earn a salary."

They returned to the office and both smiled at Chin and Kono, letting them know that all was well.

"I'm going to the beach," Steve said matter-of-factly, trying to lighten the mood. "I need to work on my tan."

"Yeah, you do that, Casper," Danny cracked, "and I'll come get you later." 

Steve turned to leave, but his arm was grabbed and he was spun around, his head dragged down, Danny's lips crushing against his. "What happened to separating work and personal lives?"

"Stupid rule," Danny sighed, "so I'm taking it off the list."

"There's a list?" Kono asked.

"You didn't know that?" Steve narrowed his eyes at Danny. "Number one is that I'm not allowed to wear a wifebeater in public," he couldn't help the smirk, "and I think number 27 states that if I make turkey bacon I will be beaten and flogged."

"And number 34 clearly reads that you are not to have naked pictures of your partner on your laptop," Danny huffed.

"I take it you found the photo?"

"No, I didn't." Danny flushed pink. "The wonder twins did." He nodded to Chin and Kono. "Chin took it in stride, but Kono wants me for Christmas."

Kono batted her eyelashes at Danny. "He's so manly."

"Keep quiet and go make a pot of coffee," Danny ordered her.

"What was that?" She gave him an almost deadly glare. "Just because I'm a woman...."

"If you don't make it, I will," Danny replied, picking up a coffee packet.

"I'll do it!" Kono grabbed it from him. "You stay away from my coffee pot or I'll break your kneecaps!" 

"No more Rambo movies for you," Chin told her, "and I am confiscating your Die Hard collection."

"And you," Danny turned to Chin, "where's the report on that double homicide? I sent Jameson the wrong one."

"Geez, you put a guy in charge temporarily and it goes to his head!" But Chin did go to the files and search through them.

"What are you still doing here?" Danny asked Steve. "The sun and sand await you, Moondoggie."

"I love you, too, Gidget." Steve blew him a kiss as he left the office.

**~~~~~~~~**

Being there were no current cases Danny was able to cut out of the office at three and went across the street to the beach, searching for Steve. He asked a few people he had come to know and they told him Steve had been surfing for a while but had left some time before.

Danny had a thought and walked down the block to where Kamekona had set up shop. "Have you seen Steve?"

Kamekona pointed across the street to the park, where Steve was sitting. "Your partner's had two." 

"Two?"

"Mango and strawberry." He made one for Danny. "Lime, like always."

"Maybe I want a different flavor today."

"And maybe I'll charge you extra for the abuse I take from you."

"Be nice or I sic Grace on **you**."

Kamekona put up his palm in peace. "Okay, Detective, yours is on the house." He smiled. "And tell your daughter if she wants a part time job, she's got one. She's a good kid."

"I know." Danny nodded to Steve. "Did he seem okay?"

"I guess, considering what happened to him." Kamekona pursed his lips and shook his head. "I never did like that place. Lots of stories about it over the years."

"Like what?" Danny wanted to know.

"Up until the mid-70s it housed the criminally insane. The patients got loose one night and killed a couple of doctors then turned on each other; it was a bloodbath." At Danny's skeptical look, Kamekona shrugged. "That's not rumor, its fact. They shut it down, but it re-opened in '87. Steve probably knows the stories; all the local kids did."

"And you?"

"One of my cousin's worked there, but he never talked about it." Kamekona gave him a second shave ice. "You deserve another one for bringing him home."

"Thanks." Danny headed across the street, sitting next to Steve. "You ready to go now?"

Steve looked at Danny's hands. "Two, Danno?"

"I got another one for you, because I love you." Danny handed it to him. 

"Kamekona gave you two, didn't he?"

"Okay, so he did," Danny admitted. "But I still love you."

"I know you do, Danno." 

They walked to the parking garage and Danny nearly had a cardiac arrest.

"Why is a surfboard, a wet and sand-covered surfboard, in the back seat of my car?"

"Because I couldn't fit it in the trunk," Steve said. "And it's not completely in the back seat; part of it is out the window."

"Yeah and that's going to make for a nice ride home. And where did it come from?" Danny wanted to know. "It didn't ride to work with us; I think I would remember that."

"I needed one at the beach so I bought it," Steve shrugged. "I got a good deal from a friend of Kono's."

"You already have three," Danny pointed out.

"And you have 14 ties," Steve fired back.

"Yes, but...."

"Shut up, Danno, and let's just go home."

**~~~~~~~~**


	9. Part The Seventh

Steve returned to work full time two weeks later, throwing himself into a hostage crisis. He was back to normal in the field, barking orders and scaring the shit out of every member of the HPD who was working with them. And true to form, he made a 6'8", 240 pound rookie cry.

Although Steve was pretty much back to himself, the nightmares were still there; he still woke up in cold sweats, sometimes sobbing and screaming for Danny.

Danny would soothe him back to sleep with gentle kisses and reassurances that he was safe. He never tried to make love to Steve in those moments, because Steve was non-responsive. 

There was one thing that was going to take those nightmares away and Ann Cramer agreed with him: Steve had to confront his attacker.

The most Ann would tell Danny was that no, Steve hadn't revealed the man's name, but even if he had, she couldn't repeat it.

Danny had promised he wouldn't ask Steve about it, but there were other avenues he could take to obtain the information.

**~~~~~~~~**

Claude Duggan had been brought to the building for further interrogation, and when Danny found out he took a page from Steve's book and dragged him to the roof. "You know what happened to Steve, I know you do, and you're going to tell me who did it."

"Go fuck yourself," Duggan said calmly.

"If you don't tell me who assaulted him, you worthless piece of shit, I will toss you off this roof." Danny held him over the edge. "I guess you have a death wish." He held him over further, just enough to scare him. "Tell me what I want to know."

"You're a cop!" Duggan shrieked as he caught a glimpse of the street below. "You can't kill me!"

"Right now, I'm not a cop." Danny had him dangling halfway over the roof. "Right now, I'm Steve McGarrett's lover." He let that bit of information sink in. "And I am going to kill you if you don't tell me what I want to know RIGHT THE FUCK NOW!"

"Stop it, Danny; it's not going to change anything."

Danny heard the voice and the flat monotone and turned around, seeing Steve there, noticing the look he gave Duggan; Danny knew right then and turned back to the orderly. "It was you."

"So you know." Duggan snorted. "He's going to have to get up in court and tell what I did; he can't do that."

"You're not going to say a word." Danny pulled him back to his feet. "You see, some of the guys I've busted I've also done favors for. They owe me. One word from me and you don't last a day in prison."

"Screw you." Duggan spit at him. "I'll drag both your asses through the mud."

"Let him go, Danny," Steve ordered.

"Steve...."

"Let him go and go inside for a minute." Steve was talking to Danny but glaring at Duggan. "Do what I say."

"Yeah, whatever," Danny muttered, "but if he takes a swan dive, you're doing the paperwork." He opened the door and reluctantly left the two alone.

"What are you going to do, McGarrett?" Duggan taunted him. "You can't kill me any more than your partner could."

Steve grabbed Duggan and shoved him against the wall. "Do you know what I am?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Didn't you pay any attention when I pulled a gun on you in the hospital?" His voice was deep and menacing as he held one hand around Duggan's neck, squeezing just enough to cut off his air supply. Steve saw his fist rising and grabbed it, slamming it against the brick - he heard the clear crack of bone. 

"You broke my hand, you fucker!"

Steve couldn't have cared less. "Danny's a good man, he wouldn't have genuinely hurt you, but me? I'm different." He relaxed his hold and as soon as Duggan caught a breath, he rammed his fingers into Duggan's neck and watched the man fall to his knees, gasping for air. "If you ever threaten him again, I will kill you without a second thought, and believe me, they will **never** find the body. Do you understand?" As Duggan nodded, Steve continued. "You will not mention anything about the pain you caused me in that hospital either. Have I made myself perfectly clear on all points or would you like a further lesson?" He pulled Duggan to his feet and held him there, his hand wrapped around Duggan's throat again. "Answer me."

Duggan stared into Steve's eyes and for a split second he saw death reflected in them. "Yes," he managed to get out.

Steve let him go and punched him between the legs, watching as he dropped to the ground again, holding his crotch. Opening the door he saw Chin and Danny standing there. "Get him out of my sight."

Chin did as he was told, leaving Steve and Danny alone.

"Steve?" Danny was staring at him as if Steve had totally lost it. "What the hell was that all about?"

"You were right." Steve put his palm up, motioning Danny to stay quiet. "What you said in the hospital, about me not being the person I once was." He stood on the edge of the roof, looking out over the city. "Yes, I know how to kill, but I'm not a killer - not anymore. There's a difference." He turned around. "If I killed him, if I kill anyone in cold-blood, you couldn't love me any longer and I can't live without that love." 

"But you threatened him." Danny knew Steve very well. "Probably told him they'd never find the body."

"Aww, c'mon, Danno, I say that to you at least once a week; it doesn't mean anything." And it didn't, Steve realized; he wasn't lying. The Steve McGarrett he used to be died the day he met Danny Williams. "Oh shit, I think you gave me my soul back."

"Score one for the ex-altar boy," Danny snickered. "Yeah, I was an altar boy, for two whole days. And then Grandma got her way and I was put into Bar Mitzvah training, which didn't work out either."

Steve felt good inside; he so loved it when Danny ranted about **anything**. "Let's go to lunch; you're buying."

"Don't I always?" Danny narrowed his eyes. "And we're finally going to have that discussion about a little invention called a GPS."

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve listened to the lecture Danny gave him regarding the GPS with his left ear, 'yes'd' him to death, agreed with him, and when Danny was done, he let it all go out his right ear; Steve was not going to allow his life to be Lo-Jacked. He knew Danny all too well, and the first time he took off on a beer run, Danny would have Chin tracking him.

Of course Danny knew Steve also and when he finished talking, he waited a moment before adding, "I give you my word that I will not attempt to use it unless you are missing for more than an hour or don't tell me where you're going."

"Two hours," Steve countered, "and I promise to leave you a note from now on."

"As long as you don't sign it 'Love, Steve' and draw little hearts, I agree," Danny cracked.

Steve leaned in. "And now we can seal our agreement with a kiss."

Danny spit on his palm and held it out. "Spit and shake, like real men."

Steve did the same, taking Danny's hand in his, and while he was shaking it, his other hand threaded fingers in Danny's hair and kissed him. "It's a done deal, Danno."

"I'm going to the bathroom; don't shoot anybody until I come back," Danny grinned.

The moment he was gone, Steve took out his phone and called his sister. They had spoken once since Danny had found him, and it hadn't been pretty. 

Mary Ann had become defensive, laying into Danny for being nasty to her, and Steve had countered with his own words as he defended Danny. 

But now he wanted peace between the two of them and she agreed to speak with Danny; Steve just had to convince Danny to talk to her.

Danny came back and sat, noticing the phone in Steve's hand. "Who is it?"

"Mary Ann's on the phone and she's apologizing again and she wants to be friends." Steve smiled a little. "I know you're still angry, but can't you make nice with her?"

"No, not after her crappy attitude to your disappearance."

"For me?" Steve pouted. "Please?"

"No."

"Please, Danno?" Steve looked a bit hurt. "She knows she was wrong."

"Fine." Danny snatched the phone. "What?" He listened for a few minutes, his face growing red from anger, feeling Steve's palm rubbing calming circles into his back. "You had no business...." Danny paused. "I don't...." Danny felt the soft kiss on his neck and turned to Steve. "Yeah, okay, we'll call a truce for now." He handed the phone back to Steve.

"We good, little sister?" Now it was Steve's turn to listen. "I'll talk to you soon." He hung up the phone with a smile. "She's going to bake you a cake when she comes back."

"Probably poison me," Danny muttered. 

"Probably," Steve smirked in agreement. "Thanks, Danny, it means a lot to me that you two get along."

"Yeah, sure, whatever."

"And to show you just how happy I am, I'll even spring for lunch."

Danny looked at the check. "Oh wow, he spends a whole $11.43 on me; I am so loved."

"Plus the tip," Steve added.

"I hope your Visa doesn't explode from the shock."

They returned to the office to finish a few things, but when they left, instead of heading home, Danny drove in the opposite direction.

"Danno, where are we going?" Steve not only noticed the direction, but after 10 minutes he recognized the roads. "Danny, please, I don't want to do this."

"You need to, Steve, and we both know it."

Steve knew arguing was useless and when Danny drove through the gates to _River's Edge_ his knuckles were white from the tight fists he had been making.

Danny parked and got out, opening Steve's door and holding out his hand. "Trust, Steve."

"Danno...."

"Everybody knows where we are, including the Governor," Danny assured him. "You don't even have to go inside."

Steve got out and stared at the building. "My friends and I used to come up here and stare at it, make up stories about what went on inside." He shuddered and not just from those memories, but from his own recent ones. "We knew what happened here in the 70's and that just fueled our imaginations."

"Childhood fears," Danny said, "we never truly get over them."

"What was yours, Danno?"

"Monster in the closet." Danny laughed a little.

"I'm going to assume that's why you close it every night before bed."

"Yeah, but maybe tonight I'll leave it open."

"I need to go inside, get over everything once and for all." Steve took a few steps forward, but stopped. "Then again, maybe it's not such a good idea."

"I told you," Danny said calmly, making a phone call, "you don't have to."

Five minutes later Lesley Price came out and hugged them both.

"I'll leave you two alone," Danny said. "I know you have things to talk about."

"You can stay, Danno." At their twin looks Lesley quickly added, "It's the only name I know him by."

Danny was uncomfortable with that. "Danny, please," he said with a smile. "Only Steve and Grace call me Danno."

"Not a problem, Danny." Lesley turned to Steve. "It's good to see you, Steve."

"Same here," Steve answered, taking her hands in his. "I wanted to thank you for being nice to me, and, uh, if you ever need any favors, and I mean **any** , you just call me. I have friends in high places."

"I know you do," Lesley smiled, "because for some reason, even though I am not qualified with the proper degrees, I have been put in charge here."

"Being in charge of this place entails more than a PhD; it means caring about the patients and understanding them. And I got something for you a few days ago; I was going to tell Danny to bring it to you, but...." Steve walked to the car and got an envelope out of the glove box. He handed it to her and shrugged. "Degrees can be gotten from the University of Hawaii."

"What's in here?" She opened it and at first her eyes grew wide and then they welled with tears. "How did you manage this? And why?"

"Scholarships are always given to worthy candidates, and I remember a lot of things." Steve stared at his feet for a moment and then met her eyes again. "Like the nurse who took care of me when nobody else did; the one who told me she always wanted to be a doctor but didn't have the money to go to school."

Lesley sniffled a bit and then smirked. "I did have my eye on a house, but I didn't qualify for a mortgage. Do you have any friends that work in a bank?"

"I'll see what I can do." Steve hugged her again. 

"Hey, stop with the physical affection; I might get a bit jealous," Danny told them both.

"Nothing to be jealous about," Lesley said, looking past him. "Thanks to you, I have sort of acquired a boyfriend."

Steve and Danny turned, seeing Chin there on his Harley, holding a spare helmet in his hands.

"I told him I would date him, but he needed to cover that head of his." She gave each of them a kiss on the cheek. "Be good to each other."

"Chin's a lucky guy," Steve waved to them as they rode off. "I love you, Danno, but, there is something I remember quite clearly about the day I disappeared."

Danny grew worried. "What?"

"You still owe me a lasagna."

"You just love me for my cooking."

Steve nodded in agreement. "That and your dick."

"What about the rest of me?" Danny teased.

Steve leaned down and whispered in his ear. "Your mouth is hot, your tongue is skilled and you have the most talented hands."

"I could say the same about you, McGarrett."

"I want to make love to you, Danno."

"Here?"

"No," Steve rested his forehead against Danny's, "not here. We'll go home; we'll have dinner and then see what develops."

"Yeah, okay," Danny agreed, albeit quietly.

As they got in the car Steve wondered if Danny had paid attention to his choice of words. He wanted to make love **to** Danny, to be inside of him.

He just hoped Danny would be okay with it.

**~~~~~~~~**

Dinner ended up as two turkey sandwiches because they hadn't been to the supermarket in a while. 

Steve was staring at Danny between bites, giving him a quirky little smile, and Danny, having understood Steve's words of earlier, finally lost his appetite. "I'm going upstairs to shower."

"But Danny, you didn't finish."

"I smell." Danny wouldn't meet Steve's eyes and rushed upstairs.

"He heard what you said loud and clear," Steve muttered to himself, staring at the empty chair. "You should have discussed it with him first, instead of throwing the words at him." Wanting to get out his self-anger, he decided that now was as good a time as any to mop the kitchen floor.

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny was in the other bedroom, curled up under the blanket, faced away from the door. 

Steve knew he wasn't asleep and sat on the edge of the bed, placing a hand on Danny's shoulder and getting the same reaction from Danny as Danny had gotten from him when Steve first came home - he slid away from Steve's touch. "Danny?"

"Please go away, Steve; I want to sleep by myself tonight."

"If that's what you want, I won't fight with you." Steve stood up and walked to the door. "Sweet dreams, Danno; I love you." As he shut it, it was his turn to wonder how he was going to make things right between them. 

**~~~~~~~~**

"Good morning, Lieutenant," Steve smiled as he entered the kitchen. "Sleep well?"

Danny ignored him, taking his plate of waffles to the table.

"Any waffles left for me?" Steve asked, picking up the box. "Aww, Danno, you finished them."

"Just leave me alone." Danny took a bite of a waffle, but grimaced as he chewed.

"It's Saturday and I thought for sure you'd have picked up Grace by now." Steve took a seat with a cup of coffee. "I can't wait to see her. Has she grown?"

Danny ignored him. "I'm not sure I want you to...." 

"I know; I should have talked to you about it first." Steve tilted Danny's face up and stared into his eyes. "You didn't sleep."

"I'll survive." Danny pushed his plate to Steve. "You can have my waffles." He made a move to get up, but Steve stopped him. 

"I didn't sleep either." Steve laced his fingers with Danny's. "I missed you beside me."

"Yes, I was angry, okay!" Danny snapped. "You made the damn decision without talking to me!"

"I didn't make any decisions, Danny." Steve released his hand. "I only said I wanted to make love to you; you could have said no, but instead you threw a hissy fit and slept in the other bedroom."

"I don't understand you, Steve. You were raped six weeks ago and you got over it; I can't get over it happening 15 years ago." 

Steve shoved the plate so hard it shattered on the floor. "I DIDN'T GET OVER IT!" He took a few calming breaths. "You think because I let you touch me, that we've made love, that I am over it? I need you to touch me because I have to know you still care."

"You broke the plate," Danny said.

"Yeah, I did." Steve bent down to pick up the pieces, but didn't allow Danny to change the subject. "And I need to touch you so you'll know it can be a wonderful thing, that it's not pain and tears."

"You're really not over it?"

"No, Danny, and it's going to be a long time before I truly am." Steve ran one finger down Danny's cheek. "But when you make love to me, I feel a little better and the pain inside doesn't hurt as much."

"And what if I can't, Steve?"

"We had this conversation already, about me," Steve pointed out. "Give me a chance, Danno, like I gave you." He cupped Danny's chin and smiled. "If it doesn't work, we'll never do it again."

Danny stood up. "I can't get Grace until one; she has those damn tennis lessons."

"Which she hates with a passion. I think you should have a talk with Rachel and explain that Grace would prefer baseball to tennis."

"She does pitch a mean curve ball." Danny leaned up for a kiss. "Now, let's go to bed and, uh, see what develops."

"No more sleeping apart, Danny," Steve warned. "And no going to bed angry again." He gave Danny a chaste kiss, slid his arm around Danny's waist and the two walked upstairs.

They stood outside the bedroom and Danny was hesitant.

"You don't have to do this for me, Danny; you have to do it because you want to."

"I want to."

Steve leaned down and kissed him, this time not chaste, backing him into the room. He didn't release Danny's lips until the back of Danny's legs hit the bed. "You are an awesome kisser." He dove in for another kiss, and as Danny sat, Steve moved into his lap. He covered Danny's face with brief kisses, and then moved down to his neck, sucking on his Adam's apple. Steve removed his shirt, and then Danny's, sliding his arms around Danny's shoulders. "I love you, Danny."

Danny allowed Steve to push him onto his back and lay still as Steve removed his pajama bottoms. 

Steve's sweatpants followed and he knelt on the bed, staring down at his lover. "If you can't, I'll stop the moment you want me to."

"I know you will." 

Steve trailed one finger down Danny's chest, absently drawing patterns. 

"What?"

"I don't know," Steve replied with a stupid smile. "I'm just...overwhelmed...at being able to do this."

"Overwhelmed?" Danny laughed a little. "At being with me?"

"Why are you so surprised, Danny?" Steve appeared to think. "Oh, wait, we've regressed back to the 'I'm short and hairy and pale and why would you want me when you can have anyone' thoughts, right?"

"You said it, not me."

"One, in bed the height difference isn't so apparent; two, I think your body hair is sexy; three, a white pallor, I have found, turns me on." Steve leaned over, his palms resting flat on the bed, his lips ghosting over Danny's. "And four, I don't want anybody else." 

"I swear, if you say anything to the effect of 'you complete me'...."

"You complete me," Steve sighed and covered Danny's mouth with his before Danny had a chance to respond. 

Danny moved his hands to Steve's hips, pulling them down to meet his. "You're going to kill me with **your** kisses."

"I can't wait any longer. I didn't want to rush this, but I so need you." Steve looked around the bed. "Fuck! Where the hell's the lube?"

Danny reached under the pillow. "I was a boy scout, too, ya know." He was holding the tube so tight the cap popped off.

"Relax, Danno." Steve took it from him, purposely using the nickname, which he intended to keep using while he made love to Danny. He squeezed some onto his fingers, flicking one against Danny's hole.

Danny was nervous and he grabbed Steve's arm. "You'll stop if I ask, right?" 

"Of course," Steve reassured, although the thought of being inside Danny was indeed overwhelming him. "I would never force you; don't be afraid of me." He pushed one finger in, keeping his attentions focused on Danny's body language. Steve was unsure if Danny would actually ask him to stop, especially if he thought Steve was enjoying himself. 

Danny was all set for pain and he gritted his teeth, but what he felt was a slick finger easing its way inside him, slow and easy. 

All the while Steve kept talking to him, telling him how much he was loved, and how Steve's world went from dismal to wondrous from the day Danny entered his life. "You made me a better person, Danno, gave me back the life that was lost for so many years." He palmed Danny's face and whispered, "I'm going to make this so good for you," stealing Danny's breath again, while one hand deftly squeezed more lube out and a second finger made its way in. 

It felt wonderful and Danny tilted his head back, giving Steve full access to his neck, bearing down, wanting more. He didn't even notice that his legs were spreading or that he had bent one leg to give Steve more maneuvering room. He didn't have a conscious clue that he was fucking himself on Steve's masterful fingers or that Steve had been so gentle that he now had three inside of him. He was oblivious to the fact that Steve was sucking on the spot just above his collarbone, but his eyes snapped open when he felt the bite and knew that Steve was giving him a hickey. 

"I want everybody to see," Steve murmured, "I want them all to know that you're mine."

"Yeah," Danny agreed, "yours, all yours."

Steve kissed his way down to Danny's chest, tonguing the right nipple, then switched to the left. "Still okay?" The moan told him it was. Steve kissed down Danny's stomach, nipping at each hip, hearing the whispered, "Oh God, Steve," and smiling to himself. He was more than aware of how good he was at this, and he knew each and every way to make Danny fly apart. Steve's mouth finally reached Danny's cock and he licked the length, blowing on the head, twirling his tongue in the slit, knowing that Danny enjoyed that immensely. 

It was usually at this point that Danny grabbed him by the hair and forced his head down, shoving his cock deep. 

But not now.

Now Danny laid pliant, relaxed, almost petting Steve's hair. "Suck me?"

Danny had never asked him before; he had always taken, knowing Steve had no objections. But the way Danny asked him now, with a tone of desperation, turned Steve on beyond belief. "If that's what you want, Danno," he couldn't resist teasing, his tongue sweeping down and up in one long motion. "Or I could just kiss it." Which was what Steve did, making Danny whimper - that particular sound was new and he liked it. But even Steve had his breaking point and he had just about reached it. He was careful to keep his fingers and mouth moving in tandem at a steady pace, not giving Danny a chance to think. He took Danny all the way down his throat, his tongue making contact with the bare flesh, skimming the thick vein that was indeed throbbing. 

Danny's breaths were coming in short spurts and he was canting his hips, fucking Steve's mouth, Steve's name a prayer on his lips. 

Steve raised his head and lowered it, teeth grazing on each slide up, tongue caressing on each swallow. He glanced down and watched his long fingers slipping in and out; Danny was so open to him he could have gotten a fourth one in - hell, if Danny was this receptive to a simple three-fingered dance, he wouldn't say no to anything Steve suggested in the future. 

For now he removed the three and, still cognizant of Danny's body, felt the anxiety. "I'm not stopping, Danno; I promise." Steve lifted Danny's legs over his shoulders, arching Danny's body so his ass could be reached with his mouth. Holding Danny open with his thumbs his tongue swept along the crack, all the way to his balls, making love to each one as he sucked them. Steve kissed back down to the center, tightened his tongue and moved inside. He tilted his head and saw Danny's eyes were shut tight, hands twisted in the sheets, biting his lip. "You can touch me, baby; it's all right." He pressed one thumb in alongside his tongue and felt the fingers in his hair, pulling his mouth closer. 

Danny's brain didn't know what he wanted, but his body did. "Steve - Steve, please - oh fuck...gonna come."

Steve had to fight to move his mouth; Danny was obviously enjoying the rimming and didn't want it to stop. "Not yet." As Steve dropped Danny's legs from his shoulders, he lay Danny on his side and slicked his cock. "It's going to feel so good." He grasped Danny's left leg, bending it and lifting it slightly. His other hand held Danny open and he pushed inside. 

That was the moment Danny's brain reconnected to his body. "I c-can't do this."

Steve kissed his nape. "You took away my nightmares; let me do the same for you." He sent a silent prayer that Danny not ask him to stop; he would have to fight with himself to comply. To finally have Danny like this, open to him, laid bare, was Steve's wet dream come true. He didn't know why Danny had reservations about his looks - the man may have been small in stature, and maybe he wouldn't make the cover of GQ, but he was an Adonis to Steve. He pulled Danny back against him, feeling Danny tense up as he entered. "Hush, Danno, I won't hurt you." 

But it did hurt and Danny tried to pull forward, feeling Steve's arm tighten around him. "Steve...."

Steve knew Danny was going to ask him to stop and he really didn't want to. If Danny became insistent he would, but Danny had to give this a chance. Steve chose his next words carefully; yes, they were unfair, but he had to say them. He kept his voice soft against Danny's ear, whispering, "Please trust me; for all the times I've trusted you." He took Danny's cock in his fist and stroked, sliding in further, and finally Danny's tenseness began to abate. "Shh," Steve soothed, "this is for you, Danno; it's all for you." Danny wasn't fighting him anymore and Steve's eyes drifted shut, enjoying the warmth surrounding his cock. "That's it, babe, open for me; let me in."

Danny began to move with him, accepting Steve inside; the pain was almost gone. "I never knew...."

Steve was kissing his neck, watching his cock disappear inside Danny's hole. "Please tell me it's still okay." He knew his voice was breaking; he couldn't help it. 

"Yes - yeah - it's okay." Danny reached behind and grabbed his own ass, opening himself further. 

"Danny - Danno...so hot...so tight." Steve was moaning and now he was biting Danny's shoulder. "How does it feel? I need to know."

"It's good, you're hard in me but it doesn't hurt anymore, it feels...OH GOD!" Danny's vision went stark white and his head fell forward; for a moment he forgot how to breathe. 

Steve knew he had hit **that** spot and made sure to hit it again. "Now you know how I feel when you're in me; now you know the pleasure you give to me when we make love." His movements sped up and became almost frantic with need; Steve wasn't going to last much longer. He so wanted to come, but Danny had to come first. He pumped Danny's cock faster and held it a little firmer. "Come for me, Danno, do it for me, only me."

Danny was there and with a loud moan he spurted all over Steve's hand, his come spattering the bed, soft murmurs of "SteveSteveSteve" falling from his lips.

"So beautiful, baby, so fucking amazing." Steve was still thrusting deep, waiting for Danny to finish, and it was only when Danny went limp against him that Steve came, driving deeper, wanting his come to fill Danny up. "Love you, Danno, only you." He didn't stop until he was empty and then just lay there with his cock buried in Danny's ass until he grew soft and slid out. "I could stay in there forever." Danny hadn't said a word. "Did I hurt you, Danno?" Steve held him tight, cradling Danny's head to his chest. "I didn't mean to, I swear."

"You didn't hurt me." Danny tilted his head back so he could see Steve's face. "I think you healed me."

"I did?" Steve seemed genuinely surprised.

"Not completely, but somewhat. It's a start."

"Yeah, I know the feeling."

"We're so fucked up." Danny half-laughed. "I used to think you were the more psychologically challenged of the two of us, but I am now beginning to think we're equals."

"We've always been equals, in **every** way." Steve had to force himself to get up and get a wet cloth to clean them with; he was too tired to change the sheets so he just laid a towel over the wet spot. "How about we take a short nap, and then you can go and pick up Grace?"

"Sounds good to me," Danny fought a yawn. "I need to make up for the beauty sleep I lost last night."

Steve glanced across the room. "The closet doors open. You want me to close it?"

"Not now." Danny snuggled into Steve's arms, eyes already closed. "Anything comes out to eat me, I trust you'll use those Army Ranger skills to...."

"Navy SEAL, Danny; I'm a Navy SEAL!" Steve was doing his best to stop his laughter.

"I love you, GI Joe, or Frogman Jerry, or whoever."

"Love you, too, Thumbelina."

"Hey, I may be smaller in height, but I'm bigger than you in other ways."

"Ah, yes," Steve agreed, "you have a fatter head."

"Okay, Steve," Danny murmured, falling into a light sleep.

Steve just rested his head atop Danny's and let sleep take him over also.

**~~~~~~~~**

"You sure you don't want me to come with you?" Steve asked as Danny got dressed. 

"Yes," Danny said, giving him a kiss. "You can enjoy your day off for a change. I'll be back soon."

"And don't forget to ask Rachel...."

"I won't." Danny left the bedroom but returned 30 seconds later. "I said day off!" He snatched the laptop from Steve's hands. "Don't force me to put a password on this thing."

"Spoilsport." Steve grinned and flopped back on the bed. 

Danny opened his nightstand and tossed Steve a book. "Reading is fundamental."

Steve stared at the cover. "The Stripped and Whipped Librarian?"

"A little light reading." Danny took the laptop with him this time.

Steve opened the book and began to read, noticing highlighted passages and Post-It's on pages throughout it. He was cracking up at the various notes Danny had written on each one - _need dildo or vibrator_ ; _padded cuffs_ ; _ping-pong paddle?_ ; _marshmallow fluff_ ; _puppy-eyes and pout_ ; _ask Steve nicely and call him Steven_ \- apparently Danny was planning a bit of kink at one point. "In time, Danno," he nodded to himself, "in time."

**~~~~~~~~**

Danny had to fix the seat in his car when he got in, grumbling once again about the steroids Steve had ingested as a child. Oh yeah, Steve was going to get his own car and Danny was going to make sure he bought a Ferrari. And Danny was **never** going to allow Steve to drive it. Revenge was sweet. 

He shifted a bit and felt slight pain in his ass, a small smile coming to his face. Steve had been so gentle with him, the touches tender and caring. He had trusted Steve and Steve had, as always, lived up to his word. Yes, there had been some pain, but in the end, the pleasure had outweighed the pain.

They still had a long road of recovery ahead of them, but they would make it. 

Danny was deep in thought as he drove and didn't even realize he had made it to Rachel's neighborhood until he saw the row of opulent homes. Driving up to the gate he rang the buzzer, and as it opened to allow him entrance, he was once again reminded of a prison. 

Rachel met him at the door and smiled at him. "I'm glad you found Steve."

"Me too." Danny stared inside the house. "Do I get to come in?"

"Anytime." Rachel waved him in. "So, how are you and Steve?"

"Uh, yeah, about Steve and me...." Danny let his voice trail off, rubbing the back of his neck.

"Please don't tell me you broke up," she said, "because I think you two complement each other."

Danny blinked at her. "Did you just say something civil to me?"

"Never."

"Just checking, Elphaba, and you should know that I'm living with him now."

"I see you've been reading something other than comic books and porn." Rachel gave him a knowing grin. "And you've been living with him for quite some time, Danny."

"But now I moved out of my apartment, so it's sort of permanent. And, um," Danny paused, "Steve was wondering if Grace could stay with us for a while."

"Steve?" She raised her eyebrows suspiciously.

"I don't how to explain it, Rachel; he needs to have her around now. Just for a week." Danny stuck his lower lip out and pouted. "Please don't say no."

"That look won't work on me, Danny; it doesn't work with Grace and it certainly won't work with you." But she did appear to think for a moment. "If Grace misses one day of school...."

"Thank you!" Danny saw Grace coming into the room and beamed as he got his hug. "Guess what, Grace? You get to visit with me for a whole week."

"Are we staying at Uncle Steve's?" She asked with a hopeful smile.

"Yes, we are."

"WAY COOL!" Grace grinned, and then turned her eyes to her mother.

"Yes, it's all right with me," Rachel nodded.

"I'll go pack!" Grace ran upstairs, shrieking with joy. She loved to stay at Steve's, because that meant surfing. And if she could do that, she would tolerate the Tofu burgers, bean sprout salads and all the other health food crap Steve served.

"And I'll go wait in the car." Danny was about to leave when he saw Stan out of the corner of his eye. Feeling mischievous, he took his ex into his arms, dipped her, and gave her a raunchy, filthy and open-mouthed kiss, which went on for a good 30 seconds. He pulled her to her feet and let her go, and saw she was staring at him with a vacuous look and had to brace her body against the wall. "You never did have any complaints about my kisses." Danny grinned at Stan, and then laughed out loud as he went to his car, casting one last look at her - Rachel still looked dazed. "Oh yeah, Danno," he said to himself, "Steve isn't the only one who's a smooth dog."

Grace came out a short while later with a suitcase and her backpack. "Is Uncle Steve all better now?"

"Mostly," Danny told her. "And he's looking forward to seeing you."

"Me too, Danno, because I sooo missed him!"

Danny nearly told her about his new living arrangements, but Steve had wanted to, so he kept the conversation to everything else.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve was sitting on the beach and heard the car drive up. A few minutes later he heard Grace's breathing as she approached him from behind and turned around, pulling her into his lap and hugging her tightly. It had been close to two months since he had seen her.

"I missed you so much, Uncle Steve." Grace sniffled, wiping away a few tears. "I knew Danno would find you!"

Steve was actually ready to cry himself; until that moment he hadn't fully realized how much of a part of his life she had become. "I missed you, too, Gracie."

"I didn't wanna go in the water without you, because I was afraid."

"Danno's been talking about sharks again, hasn't he?" 

"Uh-huh," Grace finally smiled. "And in case I saw one, I needed you to...." She paused, as if unsure that she should continue.

"Needed me to what, kiddo?"

Grace looked toward the house, making sure Danny was still there, leaned down, and whispered in Steve's ear, "I needed you to go all Super-Ninja on its ass."

"I promise that if we see a shark, I will beat it into submission," Steve laughed. "And 'Super-Ninja'?"

"That's what Kono calls you," Grace lowered her voice again, "but please don't tell her I told you."

"I won't say a word." Steve watched as she walked towards the water and he jumped to his feet. "GRACE!"

Grace froze and turned around. "What? Do you see a shark?"

Steve had to force himself to calm down. Nothing was going to happen to her - that nightmare was long over. "No, I, I want to go, too, and...and will you hold my hand?"

"Always, Uncle Steve." Grace turned back and slipped her hand in his, the two walking down to the shoreline. "See, no sharks."

Steve knelt down. "I want you to promise me something, Grace, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise me you'll never go into the ocean alone, that you'll always have a swimming or surfing partner."

"But you go swimming and surfing by yourself," Grace pointed out. "Danno and me have seen you when we come to visit."

"I'm not going to do it ever again," Steve assured her. "And Danno's not going to come visiting here anymore, either."

Her eyes grew wide as saucers. "He's not?"

"No, because this is his house now, too." He picked her up. "He's living here with me."

"Does this mean I get my own room? And will you buy me my own surfboard?"

"Yes and yes," Steve lifted her onto his shoulders, "and anything else you want."

"Danno says you got money," she peered down, "and that you're going to buy him his own Ferrari and hire Bon Jovi for his birthday party."

"Bon Jovi, huh?" Steve glanced up with a grin. "And who do you want at **your** party?"

"Um, Aerosmith."

"They might be a bit out of my price range, but I'll look into getting Taylor Swift, how's that?" 

"That would be awesome!"

"Hey, I'm an awesome kind of guy - just ask your Dad."

"Uncle Steve?" she began, then paused for a moment. "Are you going to marry Danno?"

Steve remembered asking and being turned down. "I don't know if he wants to get married again."

"But if you get married, I can stop telling people you're my Dad's friend Steve."

Steve headed back to the house, mulling the idea over in his head. "Danno," Steve stood before him, "Grace thinks we should get married so she can stop telling people that I'm her Dad's friend Steve."

"Married?" Danny stared at Grace. "Grace, Steve and I can't get married."

"Why not?" Grace motioned Steve to put her down. "Justin's dad and his boyfriend got married, so you can too."

"No, silly," Danny playfully tugged at one of her pig-tails, "we can't get married because he hasn't proposed to me." Steve frowned and Danny quickly added, "That time doesn't count because I wasn't in my right mind."

Grace didn't get it and just smiled at her father. "Then why don't you ask him?" 

"Yeah," Steve nodded, "why don't you ask me?"

"I don't need to; I'm willing to marry you if I can drive your truck." Danny smirked. "Until you buy the Ferrari, of course."

"My truck?" Steve's voice went up an octave. "I love my truck. It's mine, all mine."

"May I point out, Commander," Danny narrowed his eyes, "that I get to drive my own car maybe once a month?"

Grace looked up at Steve. "Let him drive the truck."

"Done," Steve reluctantly agreed. "You can drive the truck every other Tuesday."

"Then the wedding is on," Danny agreed.

"Okay, Grace," Steve started, "now that we're getting married, I would be honored to be your step-Steve, to go along with your step-Stan."

"But I don't want you to be my step-Steve," she told him.

"Grace, sweetie," Danny knelt down, "that's what he's going to be."

"Nuh-uh," Grace shook her head. 

Steve knelt down also. "Then what am I going to be?"

"My step-dad."

"Why not step-Steve?" Steve asked. "You don't call Stan that."

"Because Stan works all the time and doesn't do stuff with me. You're like a dad; you do all kinds of fun stuff with me on Saturday mornings when I stay here so Danno can sleep late." Grace was bouncing around. "And I hope it'll be all the time from now on."

"You mean like swimming, surfing and building sandcastles?" Danny asked.

"Yeah," Grace answered, "and he also takes me places, like the tattoo place so I can look at the pictures, even though I'm not allowed to get one, and his bookie-person."

"That's right, no tattoos for you." Danny did a doubletake and gave Steve a dangerous glare. "You have a bookie?! And you took my daughter there?"

"It's just football, Danny," Steve answered innocently.

"And he lets me play the Trifecta too."

Danny's glare went from dangerous to homicidal. "Horse racing?!"

"Hey!" Steve returned the look. "I'm not the one who taught her what a Trifecta is; she knows more about playing the ponies than I do!"

"Where did you learn about horse racing?" Danny asked her.

"Grandpa used to take me to Aqueduct and taught me how to read a racing form."

Danny's face softened at the memory of his Father. "Yeah, he used to take me, too."

"She's good at it Danny," Steve added.

"How's her record?" Danny asked him.

"About 90%."

Danny pondered that for a moment. "I think I'm going to start joining you on Saturday mornings."

"Then we'll be like a real family!" Grace grinned from one to the other. "Right?"

"You bet," Danny grinned.

They each took one of her hands and headed back to the house.

Oh yeah, things were going to be okay.

**~~~~~~~~**


	10. Part The Eighth (AKA The End)

A few months had gone by and the trials of Claude Duggan and Marcus Allen were finally finished, but in the end neither's sentence was satisfactory to Five-0.

Duggan received a reduced sentence of 25 years for the murders of Janet Amsted and Todd Finley, and for Steve's kidnapping, by agreeing to testify against Allen, who had planned everything. As far as the assault charges, he had only admitted to beating Steve, nothing more. 

Allen received 25 to life, but agreed to give testimony in a grand jury investigation held in Washington regarding those involved in the 'White Slave Trade'; for that alone his sentence was reduced to 20.

Lesley Price had spent that time, with Chin's help, going through all the hospital records. They found 14 patients who were unaccounted for; 14 who had no family, nobody that would notice they had disappeared. After four years they were certain there were more, but many of the files had been removed permanently and those people were forever lost. The problem with the remaining 14 was that they couldn't find any specific information. 

Claude Duggan had kept some of the records on his computer but his system had a 'worm' - if they tried to enter the wrong password more than twice, the information would disappear into cyberspace.

Toast attempted to help, and did recover fragments, but only dates and some names; the patient's locations couldn't be found. 

There was only one way to get the information, and much as Steve hated the idea, it had to be done.

**~~~~~~~~**

Steve and Claude faced off across the conference table.

"So let me get this straight," Duggan smirked, "I get 15 years and all I have to do is give you the information?"

"That's right," Steve told him. "I'll see to it personally."

"Don't do it," Duggan's lawyer advised. 

"Shut up!" Duggan snapped, looking at Steve again. "Make it five and you have a deal."

Steve really didn't want to do this, but there were 14 lives at stake. "Ten."

"Five or you get jackshit," Duggan stated. "Are you going to be able to live with yourself, McGarrett, knowing that you blew the chance to save some lives? Who knows what's happening to them at this very moment?"

"All right," Steve nodded, knowing he had no choice, "you get five."

"I want it in writing and it is to specifically state that I get five years, no more, no less."

"It's already done." Steve handed his lawyer the paperwork.

The lawyer looked it over, "I'll just correct the 15 to 5," and placed them in front of Duggan. "It appears to be in order, Claude."

"Where do I sign?" Duggan asked.

"On the dotted line," Steve pointed.

Duggan signed off on it. "Get me my laptop and I'll give you all the information."

"I have it right here." Steve took it out of a case. "You have ten minutes or the deal is off."

**~~~~~~~~**

"You made a deal?" Danny asked as Steve exited the prison.

"Danny, we now know where the 14 were taken. I have more than a few contacts and if we're lucky, we can find them."

"This better work, Steve. You arranged a minor sentence for kidnapping, assault and, if I may add, murder."

"It has to work, Danny; it just has to."

**~~~~~~~~**

Five-0 worked with the CIA, FBI and Naval Intelligence and after two more months they were able to track down 10 people who had been taken off the island by Allen and Duggan, and brought them all home. There were four unaccounted for and Steve was familiar with the places they had been sent to. 

"We're never going to find them, Danny!" Steve was frustrated and angry. "They're in countries that are so vast it'll be impossible!"

"We saved 10," Danny told him, "and the Feds and your SEAL buddies, not to mention Toast, are going to keep looking. If they show up anywhere, they will be found."

"Maybe," Steve agreed. "We can only hope."

**~~~~~~~~**

One week after that the task force was at the airport, along with Duggan and two FBI agents.

"I didn't lie, Claude," Steve shrugged. "You're getting your five years."

"Where?" Duggan wanted to know. "Miami? San Francisco? Boston?"

"You'll find out; I want it to be a surprise."

Duggan glared at Steve with contempt. "You were a shitty lay."

Steve and Chin both grabbed Danny, but not before Danny gave Duggan a bloody nose.

Before Duggan got on the plane, he gave the team a small wave.

"I still cannot believe you did this!" Danny screamed. "You could have just gone back on your word!"

"No, I couldn't, Danny," Steve explained. "I made a deal and my code of ethics would never allow me to do that."

"Fuck your ethics." Danny had the urge to punch Steve and he went with it.

Steve caught Danny's arm mid-punch. "Don't you trust me?"

"Steve, what did you do?" Chin asked, realizing there was more to this then Steve had let on.

"I promised him a reduced sentence of five years and he's getting them." Steve watched the plane take off. "I just didn't say where." At the three pairs of eyes staring at him, Steve added, "I hope he likes Kazghanistan. I hear the average temperature this time of year is a balmy 10 below."

Danny looked embarrassed. "I'm sorry for trying to hit you, but don't you think that...."

Steve cut him off mid-sentence. "No, Danny, I don't think I did anything wrong. There are still four people that couldn't be found; four innocents who are still lost. I did it for them."

"I was going to say I think you let him down too easy, for the same reason." Danny sighed quite loudly. "And I also think we need a bar."

"If we get arrested again," Kono pouted, "I want to pick my mug shot."

"I don't know, cuz," Chin smiled, "I think you looked pretty dangerous with the black eye and that mussed hair."

"I'm buying dinner," Steve announced.

The other three froze in their tracks, staring at him.

"I remembered my wallet for a change."

"I'm ordering steak," Chin happily nodded.

"Lobster tail," Kono added.

"I'll just order everything on the menu," Danny stated. "Because this will never happen again, I am sure."

Five hours later Rachel Edwards was woken out of a sound sleep to once again post bail for her ex-husband and his partners. 

**~~~~~~~~**

"Steve," Danny 'tsked', "you decked a woman; that was very un-chivalrous."

"All you did was spill beer on her shirt and that was no reason for her to pop you in the eye." Steve headed into the kitchen, tossing Danny a bag of frozen peas. "And she was taller than I am and had about 50 pounds on me."

"You could have let Kono take care of her instead."

"She was too busy with those two marines." Steve felt proud. "Our little surfer girl pounded two **PUSSY-ASS MARINES INTO THE DIRT**!" He made a fist and threw it in the air. "Wasn't it great? She kicked their asses as if they were paper dolls."

Danny opted not to tell Steve that the two 'marines' were Navy SEALs, at least not yet; he would save that for a special occasion. "Advil?"

"I have something better." Steve grabbed Danny by the ass and lifted him to the kitchen counter. "Guaranteed to cure whatever ails you."

"I hate to sound like a cliché," Danny leaned into Steve's chest, "but - not tonight, dear, I have a headache."

"Can I at least carry you upstairs?" Steve looked positively smug. "I am your hero, defending you against that Amazon."

"I can walk myself." Danny put the bag down, slid off the counter and began to sway. "Maybe I do need a little help."

"C'mon, Danno," Steve slid his arm around Danny's waist, "I promise not to carry you, but I will assist you in your time of need." Danny leaned into him and Steve threw caution to the wind and picked him up with a grunt. "Damn, baby, you need a diet."

"Are you saying I'm fat?" Danny murmured into Steve's shoulder. "'Cause that's not nice."

"You're just right, Danno." Steve carried him up and laid him on the bed. "I'll get you Advil." He went into the bathroom and when he came out, Danny was already asleep. Steve stripped him down, washed up and lay down beside him.

Danny remained asleep but rolled over and flung an arm over Steve's chest, snuggling close.

Steve kissed the top of his head. "I love you, too."

**~~~~~~~~**

"I hate you all," Danny announced as he entered headquarters wearing a pair of sunglasses. 

"Ignore him," Steve said, "he's been saying nothing but that since he woke up." He looked around, seeing only Chin. "Where's Kono?"

Chin nodded to her office, where Kono was sitting with her head pillowed in her arms, sleeping. "I told her to go home, but I think she's channeling you; she won't leave." He looked a little edgy and took a breath before he continued. "Marcus Allen's plane went down. He's dead, but the agents and crew got out alive. They pulled him out but he made a run for it and got caught in the explosion."

"Where?"

"Michigan."

Steve made a quick call, needing to go and speak with the authorities there - Allen's plane had gone down just outside Battle Creek.

Danny insisted on going with him; he wasn't allowing Steve to go alone.

**~~~~~~~~**

The two met with Federal agents to discuss what had happened.

One of the engines had caught fire and that, coupled with inclement weather, had caused the crash.

Steve double-checked that it was indeed Allen who had been killed and once he was satisfied, the two returned to their hotel, prepared to fly home the following day.

They lay in bed together, holding on to each other, thankful the nightmare was finally over.

Danny was fast asleep when Steve left the room. He drove about 40 minutes before he arrived at his destination, and when he arrived there he looked different. 

Longer and lighter hair, blue eyes thanks to contacts, one mustache and a goatee, plus a pair of glasses.

Steve had no fear as he entered the hospital, speaking with a doctor and going to a room. He entered silently, shutting the door, taking a seat beside the bed and waiting for the man within it to wake up. "Good evening, Marcus," he said softly as the man roused, "I'm glad to see you. I have some good news."

"After I get finished testifying," Marcus Allen sneered, recognizing him after a moment, "I will be going to a nice minimum security prison, courtesy of those friendly federal agents. They explained it all to me on the plane before it went down."

"I got over what you did to me," Steve continued, ignoring him, "but the hell you put Danny Williams and the rest of my ohana through, that I will never forgive. Not to mention Jan's death and the pain you caused so many others. And that leads me to my good news - nobody is ever going to find you."

"They will, McGarrett; the authorities will sift through the crash and look for me. The truth is, they **will** find me."

"The truth, you sick bastard, is that nobody will be looking for you." Steve grinned maliciously. "Marcus Allen was killed in a plane crash three days ago on his way to a senate hearing on human trafficking. His body was identified by both fingerprints and dental records." Steve's grin quickly faded. "As for those friendly FBI agents that were with you, and the plane crew, they were some old friends of mine. And I think I do excellent work with new identities, much better than you do." He opened the door and spoke with a few people, keeping his voice loud enough for Allen to hear. "Take care of my brother. He has delusions that he's a doctor, has been kidnapped and is being held against his will."

Allen's eyes grew wide.

"And as you read in his file, he suffers from multiple personality disorder and can be extremely violent." Steve casually exited the room.

Allen ran out of the room, chasing after Steve, but he was grabbed and restrained. "MY NAME IS MARCUS ALLEN AND I AM A DOCTOR!" He saw the orderlies approaching him with a straight jacket. "No, you can't do this. Call the district attorney in Honolulu; she'll back me up."

"Now, now, Mister Jennings," a doctor told him, "relax." He held out a syringe. "We're going to take very good care of you."

"No...not me," Allen murmured as the sedative pulled him under. 

Steve leaned down and whispered, "Your name is Marc Jennings; remember that." He went to the elevator, giving Allen a malevolent smile. His phone rang and he answered, his smile growing soft. "I went for a drive, Danno, to work off the stress. I'll be back at the hotel shortly." By the time Steve walked out of the hospital doors he looked like himself again, and he found his partner leaning against the rental car - Danny knew. "Before you say anything, he already gave the information to the authorities; the hearings in Washington were just to present it officially. The names of the traffickers are already known." 

Danny just sighed.

"Danno, I'm sorry."

Danny placed his fingers to Steve's lips. "Don't say another word."

"You still love me, don't you?"

"If I didn't, I wouldn't be here."

Steve stole one last glance at the dank grey building. "My demons are finally at rest."

"They're not going to be for much longer," Danny frowned. 

"I don't understand."

"We just got word that Claude Duggan's plane never made it to its final destination; it went down in the California Mountains."

"I didn't sabotage it," Steve replied, growing defensive.

"I know, Steve; there were no bodies found at the crash site."

"That's not possible!" Steve shook his head vehemently. "I called in more than a few favors for both Allen and Duggan; the men with him were CIA."

"I figured as much," Danny answered with a knowing look, "because the FBI couldn't get him to a foreign country. And there's more." He ran his fingers nervously through his hair. "I got a call from one of your friends at the agency."

" **You** did?"

"The man who called said he was actually afraid to call you himself; apparently you strike fear into some members of secret government agencies."

Steve was a little panicked. "Danny, what did he say?"

"The agents that took Duggan were rogue and for some reason they have a grudge against you."

"I've made some enemies, it couldn't be avoided in my last, uh, line of work, and who were they?"

"The files are being sent by courier to Five-0 and will arrive when we do, tomorrow morning."

"I take it you booked us an earlier flight?"

"I have the tickets right here." Danny pulled them out. "I came by cab and our luggage is in the rental." He took one last look at the building also. "Is Allen ever getting out?"

"Yeah, he is," Steve answered honestly. "I'm going to send an anonymous tip to the FBI in a couple of weeks. Much as I would love to let him rot in there forever, it's wrong. He'll get the jail time he deserves, and not in some minimum security prison either - that I made sure of." He took Danny into his arms and just held him. "I love you, Danno."

"I love you too, McGarrett." Danny tilted his head up for a kiss. "That pineapple-infested wasteland we call home beckons us."

"You just called it home."

"You're there, Grace is there, I have Chin and Kono, and there's no place else I'd rather be."

**FIN**


End file.
